Graveyard Jokes

115 graveyard jokes and hilarious graveyard puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about graveyard that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of graveyard jokes. From tombstone puns to zombie jokes, we've got something for everyone.

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jokes about graveyard

Best Short Graveyard Jokes

Short graveyard puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The graveyard humour may include short cemetery jokes also.

  1. My 7 year old daughter came up with this one (I trained her well). Why did the doctor make an emergency call to the graveyard? Because all the coffin.
  2. There's a new goth dating app called graveyard. Instead of liking someone, you dig them.
    (putting the romance back in necromance.)
  3. Why can't you bury a man living east of the Mississippi in a graveyard west of the Mississippi? He's still alive.
    (Learned from my 6th grade math teacher Mr. Warren)
  4. What's the difference between a toilet and a graveyard? Nothing. When you have to go, you have to go.
  5. The inventor of Tetris died recently and the casket was buried vertically... And then the entire graveyard disappeared
  6. Newsflash! A small, 2-seat aircraft crashed in a graveyard in Poland. Rescuers have found 115 dead so far and expect to find hundreds more as they continue digging.
  7. A man walks into a graveyard bar "Can I get a beer?" he asks as he walks up to the bar.
    "I'm sorry," replies the bartender. "We serve only spirits."
  8. I saw a raffle at a graveyard... i knew something was wrong there, it was a dead giveaway...
  9. A powerful tornado tore through our town last night. So far, eight bodies have been found. Plot twister. It only damaged the graveyard.
  10. It's true I misunderstood what you meant by "take me to the bone zone" but you must admit this is a very nice graveyard.
Graveyard joke, It's true I misunderstood what you meant by "take me to the bone zone"

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about graveyard can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of graveyard puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Graveyard One Liners

Which graveyard one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with graveyard? I can suggest the ones about gravestone and graveside.

  1. Why's a graveyard the safest place in quarantine? Everybody's 6 feet away
  2. Why did the graveyard get a COVID test? Because of all the coffin.
  3. why do they put gates around a graveyard? Because people are dying to get in
  4. Why was the graveyard so noisy? Because of all the coffin.
  5. Why do graveyards have fences? People are dying to get in.
  6. Plane crashed in graveyard Police recovered 2000 bodies.
  7. My Dad has got a great new job. He has 600 men under him. He cuts grass at the graveyard.
  8. A helicopter crashes in a graveyard... the police recovered 300 bodies.
  9. What do you call graveyard shenanigans? Tombfoolery.
  10. Why are there fences on graveyards? Because people are dying to get in.
  11. Man the graveyard looks overcrowded, people are dying to get in!
  12. Why do graveyards have big walls around them? Because everybody's dying to get in
  13. How many bones are there in a graveyard? A skeleTON.
  14. Have you ever been to an arctic graveyard? It's chilling...
  15. Why do graveyards have fences? Cause everyone's dying to get in!

Graveyard Shift Jokes

Here is a list of funny graveyard shift jokes and even better graveyard shift puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I decided to stop working the graveyard shift and work 9-5 instead. I swear it's like a night and day difference.
  • [OC] What do you put in a haunted house for retail workers? Graveyard shifts.
    (werewolf boos in the distance)
  • I worked the graveyard shift at a gas station....
  • Working at a cemetery must be the worst-- Every shift is a graveyard shift.

Graveyard Halloween Jokes

Here is a list of funny graveyard halloween jokes and even better graveyard halloween puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I visited a real graveyard this Halloween I logged back into Google Plus.
  • If you have s**... on Halloween, is it a monster mash or a graveyard smash? Well it's only a graveyard smash if she's had a abortion
Graveyard joke, If you have s**... on Halloween, is it a monster mash or a graveyard smash?

Howlingly Hilarious Graveyard Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy

What funny jokes about graveyard you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean headstone jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make graveyard prank.

What do you call it when you bang a vampire?

A graveyard smash!

A man was taking his dog for a walk one early morning

As he walked through a graveyard to get back home, he saw a man crouching by a grave.
"Morning!" says the man with the dog.
The second man replies "Nope, just having a p**...."

The day after Beethoven's f**...

The day after Beethoven's f**..., at midnight, a drunken man, having just left the bar, went into the graveyard, where he heard a strange sound. Looking for the source of the mysterious sound, he discovered it was coming from Beethoven's grave. Alarmed, he called his friends, and found they could hear the sound too (even the sober ones).
Soon, a crowd was forming at the graveyard. The mayor, who was very familiar with classical music, recognized the sound as Beethoven's 9th Symphony played backwards. When it ended, Beethoven's 8th Symphony started playing, also backwards, and then the 7th, and then the 6th, and so forth. At dawn, having reached a conclusion, the mayor said to the gathering crowd:
"There's nothing to fear, gentlemen. He's just decomposing."

Strange music

In Vienna, the great composer Mr. Beethoven had recently died and been buried in the city cemetery, with much mourning by the Viennese citizens.
A few nights after the burial, the town drunk is stumbling on his way home through the cemetery. All of a sudden he hears some very strange-sounding music wafting up from Beethoven's fresh burial plot. Terrified, the man runs through the streets, screaming about ghosts in the graveyard.
Pretty soon he's gathered quite a crowd around the grave, all muttering to each other about devils and ghosts. Finally one man makes his way to the front of the crowd, squats down by the grave, and listens.
"Why... that's Beethoven's Ninth Sympony, but... it's playing backwards!" He listens some more. "There's his Eighth Symphony, also backwards! ... And the seventh.... sixth..."
Finally he stands up and addresses the crowd. "My good people, you have nothing to fear. This is simply Mr. Beethoven decomposing."


Beethoven dies and is buried. A few days after his burial the locals notice strange
music coming from the burial site. Alarmed, the villagers get the local priest and head
down to the graveyard. And sure enough the sound was coming from Beethoven's grave.
The locals watch as the priest places the side of his head onto the ground.
Deep in concentration he mutters: "Fifth symphony......fourth symphony....third...aha! Beethoven is decomposing!"

Graveyard shortcut

A man's car breaks down in the middle of the night. He knows the area well and realizes that the quickest way to the nearest service station is through an old graveyard.
He's walking along the headstones when in the distance he hears a faint tapping noise. As he gets deeper into the graveyard, the eerie tapping gets louder and louder. He very anxiously turns a corner and sees the source of the tapping is an old man with a hammer and chisel, hunched over a headstone.
Relief washes over him and he says, "I was beginning to freak out because of that noise. I thought this place might have been haunted. What on earth are you doing here so late at night anyway?"
The old man merely continues chiseling and says "They spelled my name wrong."

People ask me why I like the graveyard so much.

I dig the graves.

How do you get honey from a graveyard?

From a zombee!
I'll see myself out

I tried to use the bury a dog above a body trick

the graveyard employee didnt let me

A man visiting a graveyard saw a tombstone that read: "Here lies John Smith, a lawyer and an honest man."

"How about that!" he exclaimed. "They've got three people buried in one grave."

Ireland has suffered its worst aviation disaster in history after a 2 seat Cessna crashed in a graveyard this evening...

Irish Search and Rescue say they have recovered 835 bodies so far and expect to find far more as digging continues throughout the night.

Guy sitting in a graveyard

A man works at a graveyard, but he still gets the chills when he is around gravestones. The grave keeper passes by the graveyard one day and sees a man just sitting next to a couple of gravestones. He walks up to the man and asks him, Aren't you scared in this place?"
The man looks at him and smiles, Scared? Not really, I'm just glad to be out of that hole."

TIL Gerry Rafferty of Stealers Wheel is buried in the same graveyard as Ronald McDonald and Heath Ledger.

He has a clown to the left of him and a joker to the right.

A 2 man plane crashes into a graveyard...

so far they've found hundreds of bodies

Three vampires are sitting on the graveyard wall.

Three vampires are sitting on the graveyard wall.
The first says that he is really hungry and flys into the night. After half an hour he returns and his mouth is full of blood. The other two ask him: "where did you get that?" He answers: "Do you see that little light across the hill? It was a little family at a camping trip. Delicious!" 
The second vampire starts in the air and returns 15minutes later, the whole face covered with blood. The others ask jealousy: "Where have you been?" Smiling he answers: "You guys see that group of lights down there? It was a wedding with over 20guests. I don't have to eat for a week!"
Finally the third vampire starts into the dark sky, and returns about five minutes later. His whole body, top to bottom is covered in blood.
Exited the other two ask:"Man where did you go?!" 
"Do you see that tree right there?"
"Well, I didn't"

Renewing public sector is like moving a graveyard.

You won't get much help from those already there.

I recently had to bury my beloved grandmother in the local graveyard.

She should be dead by now

A helicopter crashed on a graveyard

Reports says over 500 dead.

Did you hear about helicopter that crashed into that graveyard?

Police have so far recovered 54 bodies

A man is taking his dog for a walk through a graveyard early one morning.

A man is taking his dog for a walk through a graveyard early one morning when he sees an elderly man crouched by a gravestone. Not wishing to appear rude the dog-walker greets the elderly man with a cheery:

The elderly man replies:
"Oh no, just taking a dump."

A Nurse talks to her young Patient

Kid: Thanks for helping me get through these tough times, will you come and see me when I get out?
Nurse: I'd love to, but I am scared of visiting graveyards

Did you know that your local graveyard doesn't allow anyone who lives where you are to be buried there....

....As they need to be dead first

I was walking through a graveyard in Europe...

When I heard some strange music coming from one of the graves. Turns out, it was coming from Beethoven's grave. I took out my phone and recorded it, then took it to a friend of mine to identify.
"This is really strange...", he said. "This sounds like one of Beethoven's Symphonies, but it's backwards."
"Well, that makes sense", I said. "He's decomposing."

I'm always trying to make jokes at my work place...

But in a graveyard, everyone is dead serious

We were driving past the graveyard and my dad asks:

"Do you know why I can't be buried there?"
"Why not?"
"Because I'm not dead yet, Son."

A man walks into a graveyard..

A man is walking in a graveyard when he hears the Third Symphony played backward. When it's over, the Second Symphony starts playing, also backward, and then the First. What's going on? he asks a cemetery worker.
It's Beethoven, says the worker. He's decomposing.

I was walking through a graveyard this morning and saw a man squatting by a tombstone.

I shouted "Morning!"
He replied "No, just p**...."

Did you hear about the two-seater plane that crashed into the graveyard?

Over 50 bodies have been recovered. Which is odd, considering its a two seater plane.

I asked my grandfather what it's like in a graveyard

He said he wasn't sure but it must be good, as last he heard everyone he knew was dying to get in there.

A training plane with 4 people crashes

into a graveyard. 79 victims were found dead in the first hour of search and rescue. Authorities fear that the number may rise.

Police baffed by grave robber

Local police were having a hard time catching a grave robber. He figured he would minimize his time in the graveyard by taking the whole corpse so he could take fillings out at his leisure. To hide the evidence he was adopting out the skeletons to worthy goths on Craig's List.
Turns out that was a dead give away.

Why did the ghoul take his ghoulfriend to the cemetery?

He wanted to do a graveyard-smash!

A man is walking in a graveyard

when he hears the Third Symphony playing backwards.
When it's over the Second Sympnony also starts playing backward.
"What's going on ?" he asks the cemetry worker.
"It's Beethoven" says the worker "he is decomposing"

I've always had a thing for the girl next door types, I like my ladies to be earthy, deep and quiet.

It's great that I live next door to a graveyard.

Did you know that graveyards are the most popular places in the world?

People are just dying to get there.

What's the difference between Tinder and a graveyard?

I'm never had s**... with someone I've met on Tinder.

Where are graveyards located?

In the dead center of town.
Why are there fences around them?
Because everyone is just dying to get in.

Two old ladys meeting at the graveyard

Two old ladys meeting at the graveyard.
As one of the old ladys starts to put on some makeup the other one asks:
'May I ask how old you are?'
'Why are you using makeup then?'
'May I ask how old YOU are?'
'I am 90 years old'
'Why are you even going home?'

Standing in a graveyard, Lex Luthor and his subordinate are planning Superman's demise

Lex: This is the night I bury Superman!
Henchman: You've finally figured out his weakness?
Lex: Yes, this evening, I'll lure him into this tomb and he'll be incapacitated!
Henchman: How does that work?
Lex: It's his crypt-tonight.

I was walking past the graveyard late at night

and a couple of girls said to me "Is it all right if we walk with you? Walking through here at this time of night really freaks us out!"
I said, "Sure, I'm fine with that. It used to freak me out too, back when I was alive."
And you never saw anyone run so fast.

What happens once a year and only at a graveyard?

Mother's Day for Disney characters.

As my old Grandad was so fond of saying , "When you're in a hole stop digging"

It cost him his job in the graveyard , though.

I was walking my dog through a graveyard at dawn

I saw someone crouching by a headstone. I greeted them: 'Morning!'
They replied 'Nope, just having a s**....'

My dad uses to tell this joke alot

There was once a man named Odd. He was very embarresed by his name and didn't want anyone to know about it. When he died he had no name written on his gravestone.
One day a bunch of tourists came to his town and visited the graveyard where they came across a gravestone with no name on it.
"That's Odd!" He said

A man was walking his dog through a graveyard when he saw a man kneeling behind a headstone.

'Morning' the walker shouted. 'No, just having a s**...' the man replied.

hey girl, are you a graveyard

Because I would die to get inside of you.

There's a graveyard at the end of my street.

I guess it really is a dead end.

Walking home after a girls' night out, two rather drunk women pass a graveyard and stop to pee.

The first woman has nothing to wipe with, so she uses her underwear and tosses it. Her friend, however, finds a ribbon on a wreath, so she uses that.
The next day, the first woman's husband phones the second woman's husband, furious: "My wife came home last night without her p**...!"
"That's nothing," says the other. "Mine came back with a card stuck between her b**... cheeks that said, 'From all of us at the fire station, we'll never forget you.'"

I got kicked out of a graveyard the last time I went to Scotland.

They didn't appreciate me writing "Graveheart" on William Wallace's tombstone.

Just seen a queue outside the graveyard..

For some reason, people are dying to get in there

Walking home after a girls' night out, two women pass a graveyard and stop to pee...

The first woman has nothing to wipe with, so she uses her underwear and tosses it.
Her friend, however, finds a ribbon on a wreath, so she uses that.
The next day, the first woman's husband phones the second woman's husband, furious: "My wife came home last night without her p**...!"
"That's nothing," says the other. "Mine came back with a card stuck between her b**... cheeks that said, 'From all of us at the fire station, we'll never forget you.'"

I met a girl a recently

Her: Do you have a girlfriend?
Me: No, she died a few years ago, so I'm single now.
Her: Well, may be I can take her place
Me: I don't know, the people at the graveyard will not agree to that.

What do you call a graveyard full of disabled people

A vegetable garden

My wife wanted to have s**... in a cemetery tonight.

It was a graveyard smash.

The city officials haven't decide whether or not to tear down the graveyard

So for now...remains to be seen

Man walking through a graveyard

He sees a man crouching by a headstone so shouts over morning . Headstone man replies no just having a s**...

My dad always told me to live in the place where I felt the most alive.

So I moved into a graveyard.

Two tipsy women sneak into a graveyard to pee one night.

Once done, one uses her p**... to wipe with and throws them away, the other uses a ribbon from a nearby wreath.
The next day one husband called the other: "My wife came home last night without any p**...!"
"That's nothing!" The other replied, "My wife had a card stuck between her b**... cheeks that said, 'From all of us at the fire station, we'll never forget you.'"

Here's some one line jokes

A guy was crouched next to a grave, so another man walking by inquired "mourning?" to which he replied "no just taking a s**...".
Three girls were walking through a graveyard and they looked scared so I decided to walk then through it. They asked me if I wasn't scared of graveyards I said "I was when I was alive"
A man sat on a grave in the middle of the night, the guard asked him why he was there, he replied "it's way too hot in the grave came here to cool myself"

Graveyard joke, Here's some one line jokes

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these graveyard jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.