Grave Digging Jokes
45 grave digging jokes and hilarious grave digging puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about grave digging that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Grave Digging Short Jokes
Short grave digging jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The grave digging humour may include short grave digger jokes also.
- Spent over an hour at the wife's grave this morning. Bless her, she thinks I'm digging a pond.
- If someone tried to make me dig my own grave I would say no. They're going to kill me anyway and I'd love to die the way I lived : avoiding manual labor.
- Did you hear about the guy who died while digging a hole for a coffin? It was a grave excavation.
- Extremely controversial, but here goes... Why can't you try someone for grave digging?
Because it was found on the ground. - Did you hear about the Polish Admiral who wanted to be buried at sea when he died? Five sailors died digging his grave.
- Two clowns were crying near the circus A passer-by asks them why are they crying.
"Well, the elephant has died"
"And you loved him so much?"
"No, but they've put us to dig his grave" - What's the difference between me and a grave digger? Grave diggers get paid to dig graves to put people in, I don't get paid to do the same.
- A: Why are you crying? B: The elephant is dead. .... A: Was he your pet?
B: No, but I'm the one who must dig his grave. - Chuck Norris believes in victim's rights.
His victims have the right to dig their own graves before he kills them. - "The total cost would be £3000," said the f**... director. "And that includes digging the grave."
"Is that the whole thing?" I asked.
He replied, "Yes, that's the hole thing."
Share These Grave Digging Jokes With Friends
Grave Digging One Liners
Which grave digging one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with grave digging? I can suggest the ones about digging and well digging.
- I spent a few hours by my wife's grave today. She thinks I'm digging a pond.
- Spent an hour by my wife's grave God bless her soul, she thinks I'm digging a koi pond.
- I spent some time at my Auntie's grave today. Bless her, she thinks I'm digging a pond.
- I visited my wife's grave today Bless her heart she still thinks I'm digging a pond.
- Excuse me, do you like graves? Yeah, I dig 'em.
- I knew a man who had the brain of Einstein... He was also wanted for grave digging.
- I got a job digging graves, I don't know how, I just fell into it.
- People ask me why I like the graveyard so much. I dig the graves.
- I dug my wife's grave today. Poor gal thinks I was digging a pond.
- What did murderers say in the 70's? I dig your grave, man
Grave Digging Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about grave digging you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean digging holes jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make grave digging pranks.
A grave digger...
A grave digger hears a story about how Mozart had an unfinished song folded up in his coat pocket when he was buried.
The grave digger goes to the cemetery where Mozart was buried, and starts digging at the composer's grave.
The grave digger hits the coffin.
The grave digger opens the coffin, and sees Mozart holding the unfinished piece, and erasing each note on at a time.
The grave digger yells, "What are you doing?!"
Mozart responds with, "Decomposing."
A Mans walking in a cemetery and he hears this noise...
It sounded like someone was using a eraser. He walks towards a grave and it gets louder. So he digs up the casket and sees Mozart Erasing all of his music,and the man says "Mozart what are you doing!" Then Mozart says "I'm decomposing"
I was fired from my job for having s**... with one of our clients.
At least I won't have to dig graves anymore.
We were sat outside in the sun and my mum says "It's nice getting some vitamin D isn't it" my grandma then said " I get my vitamin D every day" then gave that look to my grandad
I am currently digging my grave
So a graverobber decides to dig up Mozart,
He digs down, opens the coffin, and finds, not a dead body but a very old Mozart rapidly erasing music sheets. The grave robber says "Mozart, is that you? What are you doing?" Mozart responds, "I'm decomposing."
Little Minnie was digging a pit in her house's backward ...
... Curious, her neighboring lady asked her what she was doing.
"My parrot died yesterday. I'm preparing to bury him."
"Ohhh, that's so sad. But why such a big grave for a little parrot?"
"Coz he's in your cat's stomach."
A man and a woman were married for many years
Everytime there was an argument, yelling could be heard by everyone, deep into the night. The old man would shout "WHEN I DIE, I WILL DIG MY WAY UP AND OUT OF THE GRAVE AND HAUNT YOU UNTIL THE DAY YOU DIE!!" Neighbors feared him and the old man liked it that way.
Finally at the age of 98, he died. After the burial, the woman's neighbors, fearing for her safety asked "aren't you afraid that he might actually dig his way out and haunt you forever?"
"Let him dig" she said. "I had him buried upside down...and I know he won't ask for directions."
Burial Plans
A man and woman were married for many years. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"
Neighbors feared him. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. Then one evening, he died when he was 98. After the burial, her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?"
The wife said, "Let him dig. I had him buried face down, and I know he won't ask for directions."
A man and woman were married for many years.
Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"
Neighbors feared him. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. Then one evening, he suddenly died. After the burial, his wife's neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?"
The wife said, " Let him dig. I had him buried upside down...and I know he won't ask for directions."
A husband and his wife were always fighting each other.
When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night.
The woman would shout - 'When I die, I will dig my way up, out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life..'
Neighbours feared her and the woman liked the fact that she was feared..
To everyone's relief, she died of a heart attack when she was 58. Her husband had a closed casket at the wake..
After the burial, he went straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow. His neighbours, concerned for his safety, asked - 'Aren't you afraid that she may indeed be able to dig her way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life??'
The husband put down his drink and said - 'Let her dig. I had her buried upside down..'
Annoying Husband
An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other.
When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could heard deep into the night the old man would shout,"When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and comeback and haunt you for the rest of your life."
Neighbours feared him.They believed he practised black magic, because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighbourhood.
The old man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone's relief, be died of a heart attack when he was 68.
His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow.
Her neighbours, concerned for her safety asked. "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and come hack to haunt you for the rest of your life?"
The wife put down her drink and said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down."
Mean Old Man
An old man and woman were married for years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night.
The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"
Neighbors feared him because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood.
The old man liked the fact he was feared. To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 68.
His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went straight home and began to party as if there was no tomorrow.
Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life?"
The wife put down her drink and said, "Let the old man dig. I had him buried upside down."
Graverobbers
These two men liked to dig up graves and collect the items deceased were burried with. They mostly dug up famous people, and took items like jewelry and other valuable items.
One day they decided to go to a graveyard in london. Their they found Mozarts grave. They spent hours digging up the grave, and when the finaly got to the coffin and opened it there was a man sitting their erasing things in this large book. So the graverobbers asked him, "Uhhh, What are you doing?"
He then replied, "De-composing."
A busload of politicians were driving down a country road...
...when the bus suddenly ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer's field.
The old farmer heard the tragic c**... so he rushed over to investigate. He then began digging a large grave to bury the politicians.
A few hours later, the local sheriff was driving past the farmer's field and noticed the bus wreck. He approached the old farmer and asked where all the politicians had gone. The old farmer explained that he'd gone ahead and buried all of them. "Were they ALL dead?" asked the puzzled sheriff. "Well, some of them said they weren't," said the old farmer, "but you know how them politicians lie."
Oldie but a goodie
An old farmer was busy plowing his field when he heard a terrible noise and looked up. A busload of politicians was careening wildly down the road, then spun out of control, flipped several times, and crashed into tree.
The old farmer hurried to the site of the accident. Seeing the wreckage and carnage, he sadly went about digging a large hole to bury the dead.
A few hours later, the sheriff came by, searching for the missing politicians. When he saw the crashed bus, he stopped and asked the old farmer where all the politicians had gone.
The old farmer gravely shook his head and said he had buried them.
The sheriff asked the old farmer, "Were they ALL dead?"
The old farmer replied grimly, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."