Grateful Dead Jokes

Following is our collection of humor and one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Grateful Dead puns for adults, dirty jokes or clean gags for kids.

There is an abundance of jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 9 funniest jokes on grateful dead. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any witze you can hear about grateful dead.

The Best jokes about Grateful Dead

How many Deadheads (Grateful Dead fans) does it take to change a lightbulb?

No one knows, they wait for it to burn out and follow it around for twenty years.

Two genies in a deserted house..

A guy gets lost in a desert and stumbles upon a house smack bang in the middle of the desert. After ascertaining that it wasn't a mirage, he enters the house and sees three doors and a lamp at the entrance of the house.

He rubs it and out pop two genies, who are very grateful and decide to grant the man three wishes.
"Before you open each of these doors, wish for what you want most and then open the door."

So he goes upto the first door, closes his eyes for a moment and then enters the room to find all kinds of riches.

He follows the same process and enters the second room and is greeted by the most beautiful women in the world all eager to please him in every possible way.

When he finally makes his third wish and enters the third room, a noose appears from the ceiling and within minutes, the man is dead.

As the two genies leave the house and traverse the desert, one of them turns to the other and says sadly, "I just don't understand. He didn't look suicidal. What was his third wish?"

To which the other genie replies, "Yeah I have no idea why he wished to be hung like a black man."

Obligatory addition: *And then the other genie fainted.*

A man is woken up in the middle of the night by his son screaming. He quickly goes and wakes him up.

Man: "Son What's the matter?"
Son: "Dad it was the scariest dream! A man dressed in black came and told me my aunt is going to die tomorrow!"
Man: "Son it was just a dream don't worry."
The next day he comes home and his wife is crying.
Man: "Honey what's wrong?"
Wife: "my mother called my sister just dropped dead!"
That night the man is woken again by his son screaming and he wakes him up.
Son: "Dad the man in black came to me again in my dream and said tomorrow my father is going to die!"
Man: "Son your aunt dying was just a coincidence don't worry about me I'll be fine."
The next day the man is freaked he doesn't take any elevators, doesn't walk over any grates and jumps at any noise.
When he get home his wife takes one look at him.
Wife: "Honey you look awful what is going on?"
Man "I have had the worst day ever I feel awful and just want to go to bed."
Wife: "You think you had a bad day? This afternoon the mailman dropped dead on the front porch!"

How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they just wait for it to burn out and follow it around the country for 20 years.

Why were the Grateful Dead shows always sooooo hot?

None of the fans worked.

What do Grateful Dead fans say when they run out of drugs?

Hey guys, what's that horrible music?

Source: A friend who followed the Dead around told me this years ago.

Why is it always so hot at Grateful Dead shows?

Because their fans don't work.

(Credit to Neil Hamburger)

What did the Mexican scientist say to greet their failed cloning experiment of the Grateful Dead?

Muchas Garcias.

NEED jokes for work... Bingo jokes to be specific

So my jobs entails working multiple bingo calling sessions every week.... sometime 3 or 4 a week. And within these sessions i need to be entertaining towards the guests... and jokes tend to fill that dead space really well, problem is, i don't know many jokes...

so here's where i'm at, and why i'm coming to you guys for help... i would be eternally grateful for some great jokes pertaining to Bingo, or cruise ships (since that's where i work and call bingo)

i'm so thankful to anyone willing to help out!!

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes