Graph Jokes

Following is our collection of exponential puns and geometry one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Graph jokes for adults, dirty graphic jokes and clean diagram dad gags for kids.

The Best Graph Puns

I just saw my math teacher lock himself in his office with a piece of graph paper.

I think he must be plotting something.

I'm making a graph of my past relationships...

I have an 'ex'-axis and a 'why?'-axis.

I just watched a movie about a y=x graph

The plot was a bit predictable

And a little flat

Good special f(x) though

I found out what that math teacher with graph paper from yesterday's joke was plotting....

...weapons of math instruction.

I don't trust people with graph paper

They're always plotting something

How many graphic designers does it take to change a light bulb?

Does it have to be a light bulb? 'Cause I had this other idea...

Never trust a mathematician with a graph.

They're always plotting something.

My graphing calculator works really well...

Some would say it functions perfectly.

Never trust anybody who has graph paper.

They're always plotting something.

I made a graph of my past girlfriends.

It has an ex axis and a why axis.

I plotted a graph of my past mistakes

It has an ex-axis and a why-axis

My father works as a statistician at Ford.

He must be pretty well-respected there, people are always asking for his auto graph.

A graphic designer is working on a website...

...and his client says, "Could you make this banner a little more green?"

So he makes the color a little bit more green.

But his client says, "No, that's too green. Make it a little less so."

So he makes it a little less green.

The client says, "No, it's still a bit off."

So the artist, losing his patience, shouts, "On a scale of 0 to 255, how green do you want it!?"

Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?

She's definitely plotting something.

My girlfriend's mood is like the graph of sin(x).....

Her mood goes up and down within one period.

I'm making a graph on my previous exs

It has an Ex axis and a Why axis.

I made a graph showing my past relationships

It has an ex-axis and a why-axis

I was drawing a graph for my report expecting a straight line. But I got a curve.

What a plot twist

Never trust math teachers who use graph paper

They're always plotting something.

I've gotten a Graphic Design job at a nuclear plant

The pay is not great, but they told me I'd be getting some exposure.

What's Asian on top and black on bottom?

IQ distribution graph

Say what you want about the graphics for Lara Croft's bosom in the original Tomb Raider

At the time, they were cutting edge.

I just finished making a graph of all my past relationships with women

It has an Ex axis and a Why axis.

A graphic designer has a heart attack

I guess you could call it...

a stroke.

What do you call an issue with the graph of a quadratic formula?

A parabolem.

I lost my ruler and my work after drawing a graph...

I think they were plotting something.

Teacher arrested on airplane after bag was searched

A protractor, a ruler, a calculator, and a book of graph paper. He was charged with possessing implements of math instruction

I was going to write a book about an x-axis and y-axis on a piece of graph paper.

But there was no plot.

Where do graphic designers go for a drink?

CGI Friday's

How can you tell between a graphic designer and recruiter?

Ask them to pronounce "hires"

What do graphic designers smoke up to get high?


What do you call an unexpected wiggle on a straight graph?

A plot twist.

Graphene can do everything...

Except leave the lab. :)

How can you chart all the lies your parrot tells?

A poly graph.

What do you need when your graphics card is drunk?

A new driver.

What do you call a giraffe with no eyes?

A graph

I went outside once....

The graphics were great! But the storyline sucked!!!!!

Graphene may be a miracle material

But only on paper

What do you get when you graph mud versus traction?

a slippery slope

Why don't pencils and graph paper get along?

Because they're made out of graphite

I was making a graph of my past relationships. First I drew the Ex axis then the Why axis.

Full disclosure: I saw this in yik yak thought is share it here. :)

My love graph has two axis.

It has an X-axis and a Y-exis.

Started comparing overweight people using a graph

Created a Guntt Chart

Why did the graph go to the dentist?

He thought he had a concavity.

How does a pirate describe a sin graph?


(Physics) What's a physicists favourite graph?

A Van De Graaff.

There is an abundance of integral jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 46 funniest jokes and graph puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any equation witze you can hear about graph.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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