Granpa Jokes
5 granpa jokes and hilarious granpa puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about granpa that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Hilarious Granpa Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What is a good granpa joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
GRANPA, GRANPA CROAK LIKE A FROG
A six-year-old goes to the hospital with her mother to visit her Grandpa. When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her mother and bursts into her Grandpa's room. "Grandpa, Grandpa," she says excitedly, "as soon as my mother comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!"
"What?" said her Grandpa.
"Make a noise like a frog because my mom said that as soon as you croak, we're all going to Disney World!
My granma got my granpa a new pair of pants. When I asked him how they fit, he said, "like a cheap castle".
When I looked confused, he explained, "no ballroom"
Ol' Jed
Ol' Jed was sitting on his porch when his youngest grandson walked up to him.
"Granpa, how did you get to live so to be so old?"
"What, I'm only 85!" he exclaimed before snorting. "Well, let me tell you something. Every morning I sprinkle just a little gunpowder into my oatmeal. It's good for the heart!"
"Gunpowder!? No way! Are you joshin' with me?"
"Nope! Mark my words. Just a little pinch every morning. You'll see."
Sure enough, Ol' Jed lived another 14 years before leaving behind 7 kids, 10 grand kids, 18 great-grand kids, and a 9 foot hole in the Crematorium wall...
Son, who is that German guy who keeps hiding things in our house?
Alzheimer, granpa.
A bully walks into a bar
He walks to a man whose eyes are on the ground and grabs away his drink. He gulps it loudly and after it is finished he let out a disgusting belch. Then he asks in a woeful tone: "what happens, granpa?".
The man lifts his eyes and sighs: "yesterday I got fired from my job and when I returned home I caught my wife sleeping with my brother. Today I woke up and found that my kids and wife are not home so I decided to kill myself but I couldn't do it".
The bully puts a gloating smile and asks: "why? Are you not manly enough even to kill yourself?".
"No. Because you drank up my beer".
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