Granite Jokes
81 granite jokes and hilarious granite puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about granite that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Granite Short Jokes
Short granite jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The granite humour may include short gneiss jokes also.
- Trump reportedly asked to be added to Mount Rushmore Turns out granite isn't a dense enough material to represent him
- Why did the Limestone feel unappreciated? Because he thought people were taking him for granite.
- My wife and I are going with Granite countertops for our new kitchen. I don't even like the look of Granite all that much but honestly I just couldn't think of a counter-argument.
- It's important not to confuse metamorphic with igneous rock After all, you can't just take this schist for granite.
- My girlfriend was raving about our neighbors Marble Countertops. I was unimpressed, but maybe I just took them for Granite
- My wife wants to replace our kitchen countertops with Quartzsite I told her I was afraid the kids would take it for granite
- Chuck Norris They wanted to add Chuck Norris' face to Mount Rushmore, but the granite is not hard enough for his beard.
- My wife is frustrated that I'm not making enough progress on our kitchen remodel, noting the granite has been in for over two months… I told her that I didn't like being counter-productive.
- My wife left me after we went shopping for new kitchen counters. I guess she didn't like being taken for granite.
- I was disappointed to find out my countertops were linoleum. I guess i took them for granite
Share These Granite Jokes With Friends
Granite One Liners
Which granite one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with granite? I can suggest the ones about marble and quartz.
- Why does nobody like a rich stone? Because he takes everything for granite.
- If you ever meet a girl named stone... Don't take her for granite
- What do marble countertops hate the most? Being taken for granite.
- Is lava wet? Maybe so but I'm not taking it for granite.
- Why is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson always so sad? Everyone takes him for granite.
- I had to leave the granite industry It was counter productive
- I love you marble But I won't take you for granite.
- The Rock is divorcing his wife.. Because she takes him for granite.
- I got fired from my job at the marble mine today I kept taking it for granite
- My cheap laminated countertop just collapsed I suppose I always took it for granite.
- Why did the geologist get divorced? He took his wife for granite.
- Why did Mrs. Quartz divorce Mr. Quartz? He took her for granite.
- Are you in a serious relationship with a rock? If you are, don't take it for granite
- Quartz countertops are very unappreciated Most people take them for granite
- As a rock salesman, I've had great success with money. Sometimes I take it for granite.
Entertaining Granite Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about granite you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean gravel jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make granite pranks.
"Why was the slab of marble upset?"
"He was tired of everyone mistaking him for granite."
What was the under-appreciated, often-exploited kitchen contractor's complaint?
I'm always taken for granite!
(OC) I started stealing granite tops from peoples kitchens and replacing them with fakes...
I keep having troubles getting the counterfeit.
(Its probably been done before because the pun is so obvious but I haven't yet heard it.)
Why did the geologist quit his job?
His boss always took him for granite.
What did the limestone say to the geologist?
Don't take me for granite!
Why did the marble countertop leave the kitchen?
It was tired of being taken for granite.
Walked past a hero turned to stone
I guess the gods took him for granite
I just put in new countertops in my kitchen...
Granite, they're not marble, but still...
Why did the stonemason break up with the female con artist?
She took him for granite.
Today I was asked to model for a stone sculpture
Life is wild guys don't take anything for granite
The shame about ancient Grecian art...
The shame about ancient Grecian art is that there are amazing marble sculptures and structures which too often get taken for granite.
Why did the stoneworker get fired?
Because he took his job for granite I'll show myself out.
Did you hear why the Quartz is divorcing her husband?
She says he took her for Granite
Rock is great but....
You shouldn't take it for granite.
The dumb geologist had a gold ore in his backyard
Poor man took it for granite
My floors
I really appreciate beautiful Travertine floors.
A lot of other people, however, take them for granite.
Somebody told me I should be more thankful for all the rocks I have.
They said I'm taking them for granite.
Guess what the rocks cooking
Pancakes but don't take it for granite
A man burglarizes homes so he can afford to renovate his kitchen...
I guess you could say he's taking things for granite.
I'm no geologist
But when I look at mountains in the morning I take them for granite
There are many marbleous statues in Greece
...but sadly many people take them for granite.
LPT: When you get a pet rock
Don't take it for granite
A kleptomaniac never appreciated how he could exchange stolen goods for rocks.
He took things for granite.
I really miss the marble countertops at my old apartment...
I guess I just took them for granite.
What's the worst way to end a friendship with a rock?
Take them for granite.
I always thought my kitchen was worth more, until I had my house appraised.
Moral of the story: Don't take your countertops for granite.
What did tonalite say to pegmatite?
I'm sorry I took you for granite...
Why did the stone mason leave his wife?
He felt taken for granite.
I met a rock salesman once.
He really took his money for granite.
Did ya hear feldspar, quartz, and mica stopped hanging out together?
They got tired of being taken for granite
I didn't notice the countertops in my new house until after I moved in.
Guess I took them for granite.
Sometimes I forget how beautiful the mountains are.
I really take them for granite.
My mom stole money from me to buy new countertops
She seriously needs to stop taking things for granite
I really like rock puns.
They're something we shouldn't take for granite. I mean, they are pretty solid.
Let's just face it, geology rocks!
PS: I just hit rock bottom, didn't I?
I just quit my job at the quarry
they took worker safety for granite.
Did you hear about the marble statue with low self esteem?
She was taken for granite
I had a stone that I thought was something else, but a geologist friend told me it was gneiss.
I'm afraid i took it for granite.
In my outdoor nature class I pointed out some lichen growing on granite and taught them the mnemonic Freddie f**... took a likin' to Alice algae to teach them about the symbiotic relationship. One 5th grade boy responded
Looks like their relationship is on the rocks. He'll make a great dad some day.
Our tour guide wanted to bring our attention to the sand stone to our right
He didn't want us to take it for granite
An ex stonemason spent his days pining for his old life.
He took it for granite.
There were plans to have Chuck Norris's face on Mt. Rushmore
Unfortunately, the plans had to be scrapped because the granite was too soft to make his beard.
