The Best 52 Grandparents Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Grandparents jokes. There are some grandparents aunt jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these grandparents grandparent puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Grandparents Jokes and Puns

WW2 joke. I read this conversation between two Counter-Strike players ingame...

(I came in mid-conversation and for me it started like this)

Player1: I cant believe your nick is Jewhunter, that's so offensive! My grandparents were in a concentration camp during the war.

Player2: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, my grandfather died in a concentration camp.

Player1: My god that's awful...

Player2: Yea, he fell down from the guardtower.

Player1 has left the game

Grandpa's Rocking Chair

A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch in the rocking chair wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down.
'Grandpa, what are you doing? Your goober is out in the wind for everyone to see!' he exclaimed.
The old man slowly looked at him and said,
'Well....last week I sat out here with no shirt on and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea.'

I was teaching a bunch of black teenagers about slavery.

None of them liked the concept, but their grandparents were sold on the idea.

Grandparents joke, I was teaching a bunch of black teenagers about slavery.

So I was trying to explain slavery to a group of black teenagers...

...they didn't like the idea, but their grandparents were sold on it!

An old woman notices her husband's fly is unzipped...

An old woman sees her husband's fly on his pants is unzipped. She says, "You left the barn door open. The cow is gonna get out if ya don't close it."

The old man replied, "It can't get out if it can't get up!"

(I adapted this from an actual exchange that my great grandparents had a few years ago.)


What do grandparents smell like?

"Depends"

Scientists say you're more likely to die of what your grandparents died of rather than your parents

If anyone sees any German snipers let me know

Grandparents joke, Scientists say you're more likely to die of what your grandparents died of rather than your parents

Kentucky Christmas

What is the worst part of being a kid in Kentucky at Christmas? Only having one set of grandparents buying you gifts.

Why do grandparents have so many clocks?

So they won't run out of time

Literary position.

Years ago, my grandparents took me on a vacation to Disneyland. Grandma was excited for me when we boarded the plane, she exclaimed that I was lucky, because I got the Shakespeare seat.

"Why is it the Shakespeare seat Grandma?"

"You are in seat 2-B, so it's the Shakespeare seat."

"Don't be silly Grandma. All the seats on an airplane are Shakespeare seats."

"How do you figure that?"

"Well, it's either seat 2-B or not 2-B."

A Jewish man walks up to an Asian man...

The Jewish man says

"Hey, your eyes are really squinted, must be hard for you to see, huh!"

The Asian man says

"Well at least I can see my grandparents."

You can explore grandparents granddad reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean grandparents grandmother dad jokes. There are also grandparents puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What do you call people who teach their kids to use abstinence as birth control?

Grandparents.

What's the downside of being a redneck kid at Christmas?

You only get presents from one set of grandparents.

My Grandparents bought a new China set...

They asked me what I thought of it...
I said it was fine...

My coworker couldn't decide which grandparents should be her 2 children's legal guardians, so I said to split them up.

Then you only have to decide who gets the top half, who gets the bottom.

Teacher - how did our grandparents kill time without smartphones or internet ?

Student- I've already asked this question to my mum, her 5 brothers and 7 sisters !!

Grandparents joke, Teacher - how did our grandparents kill time without smartphones or internet ?

My wife's inappropriate Christmas dinner joke

Last night My wife and I were having Christmas dinner with her parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, and a German neighbor who is a widow. We were talking about messing up while cooking meals and I mentioned the first time I cooked a turkey I cooked it upside down. The neighbor was incredulous that I could make such a mistake and asked how I could possibly do this when the breast would be round and make it difficult to get the turkey to not roll.

My lame joke:
>"Maybe I just like flat breasted turkeys."

Wife looks down at her chest:
>"Well now I feel self-conscious... Wait, is that why you always turn me face down?"

Everybody starts roaring with laughter and her dad turned bright red.

From where did the sperm whale get it's name?

Ask your grandparents.

When I was a teenager I saw my grandparents having sex...

...It was the grossest thing I ever saw...

...once I finished.


I'm 12 feet taller than my grandparents.

I'm 6 feet tall and they're 6 feet under.

[WARNING, spoilers ahead!]

1.) Storing milk at room temperature
2.) Grandparents
3.) Black people in a movie theatre

How did our grandparents killed time when there were no Smartphones and Internet?

I already asked my mom, her four sisters and five brothers.

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well?

Because they have a common enemy

I once saw my grandparents have sex

And that's why I don't eat raisins

My grandparents, parents, and even my siblings have chronic diarrhea...

runs in the family

People say that sex ed classes in America are uncomfortable. But I think that history classes in Germany are worse.

"Hey kids, you'll never guess what your grandparents did..."

My grandparents were vaporised in a freak accident

They will be mist... :'(

Testicles are like grandparents.

You don't really pay them too much attention, but you miss them when they're gone.

My grandparents have died 36 times

Every time I change jobs all four of them come alive again.

My grandparents told me they wanted me to play my bagpipes at their funeral

I told them I was all booked up for next week.

When I was younger, my parents used to make me go stay with my grandparents at the weekend

And it was so cold in that cemetery!

The little girl asks her parents "Mom, Dad why did you name me Candy?"

The mom replies " because we want to be grandparents really soon"

My German grandparents used to hide Jewish children in their basement.

Turns out that gets you arrested in this day and age.

last weekend was my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary

So we threw them a golden shower.

When I was kid, everytime we attend a wedding...

My grandparents always tease me that I will be next. They were not happy when I said the same thing when we saw a funeral procession.

(My 6 year old sister made this) Whats a grandparents favorite bird?

A crane

People always say that when you're nervous while giving a presentation to picture the audience in their underwear

I'll never look at my grandparents the same ever again

Shout out to my grandparents!

Not because they both helped out with something, but because they have a hearing disability.

What did our grandparents do without TV or internet?

I don't know. Ask your mom and her 6 siblings.

What's the worst part about visiting the grandparents?

The only thing to watch is antique robeshow.

How do you get your grandparents to stop saying your life depends on technology?

Reply, No, u. as you reach for the plug.

I starred in an award winning one man show...

about my life growing up in a small town. Because I love them so much, I bought my grandparents expensive box seats to see it. After the show they were so excited to tell me how great it was. My grandpa looked at me with pride in his eyes and said, Congratulations. You played yourself.

Both my grandparents were midgets

They struggled to put food on the table their whole lives

A 16yr old boy is cleaning his grandparents attic. When he uncovers a strange lamp.

As soon as he grabs the lamp a genie appears. "One and only one wish you have" bellows the genie. Being a young and naive boy only one thought comes to mind. Without much thought he blurts out "I wish the be in between the legs of a beautiful woman". The genie booms "wish granted". With a snap of his fingers turns the boy into a tampon.

Today I went to visit my dead grandparents but I accidentally visited the wrong tomb

It was a grave mistake

My Grandparents passed away together last night. He went peacefully in his sleep, but she was apparently distraught before dying, screaming and crying hysterically

I guess we really should've taken away his license

What's a geometry teacher's favorite drink?

Ovaltine!

My 7 year old made this one up today. Thanks, grandparents!

Coronavirus is much older than we knew

My great great grandparents came West in a Covid wagon

What do you call parents who don't teach their children about safe sex?

Grandparents!

My grandparents fought during World War II.

They ended up getting a divorce.

A Child walks in on his parents...

He says "Mom, Dad what are you doing?"

The Dad replies "I'm playing poker and your mom is the wild card"

1 week later He walks in on his grandparents

He says "Grandpa, Grandma what are you doing?"

The Grandpa says "I'm playing poker and your grandma is the wild card"

Another week passes and the dad walks in on his son masturbating

The Dad says "Son don't you need a wild card for that?

The Son says "Not as long as you have a good hand

The class is learning about the holocaust, when the teacher asks if anyone's grandparents died in the deathcamps. Little Billy puts his hand up.

"Oh... Class, let us hold a minute of silence for him. If it is not too indiscreet, how did he die?"

"Fell off a watchtower."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the grandparents family jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working grandparents grandfather piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes