Grandpa Birthday Jokes
10 grandpa birthday jokes and hilarious grandpa birthday puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about grandpa birthday that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Grandpa Birthday Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good grandpa birthday joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Grandpa's 100th birthday party was not a huge success.
The family wheeled him in his chair out onto the lawn for a picnic. When he slowly started to lean to the right, his daughter stuffed a pillow on his right side to prop him up. A bit later, he started leaning to the left. His son straightened him up and stuffed a pillow on his left side. Soon he started tilting forward. This time his other son caught him and tied a pillow around his waist.
A few minutes later, his grandson arrived. He said, Hey, Grandpa! How's life treating you?
Terrible, he said. They won't let me f**....
My girlfriend's birthday is the same day as my grandpa's. So now i don't know to which party I should go.
On the one hand, it is the person to whom I lost my virginity. But, on the other, I believe I should also go to my girlfriend's birthday.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Grandpa's Birthday
So my grandfather turned 90 last weekend, and my uncle, the class act that he is, thought it'd be a good idea to get a stripper one night, after we had the guys golf trip.
So she shows up, it's a bit awkward at first, but she's affable and it makes it a slightly better situation.
Eventually she goes up to the birthday boy and asks him "Do you want a super l**...?"
Grandpa thought long and hard and finally spoke up, "I guess I'll have the soup!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I got an e**... for my grandpa's 100th birthday.
She said that she would give him super s**.... He said "I'll take the soup."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
On my birthday, my grandfather pulled me aside and said, You remind me so much of your father.
I said, Wow! Thanks, Grandpa.
Grandfather: Your father was a disappointment too.
Whats gray and found between grandpa's legs?
Grandma on his birthday.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do women have babies? [First] [Terrible Xmas Joke from 95 Year old Grandpa]
Because they take it too seriously when men poke them in good fun.
I know, I know, this is absolutely terrible. But my 95 year old grandpa just said it at his birthday dinner with the rest of the family around... after hitting on 4 women at the restaurant old enough to be my mother. Oy.
Happy Birthday question from grandpa
Hey nephew are you trying to overtake me?
Three mischievous old Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home.
When an old Grandpa walked by.
And one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, “We BET we can tell exactly how old you are.”
The old man said, “There is no way you can guess it, you old fools.”
One of the old Grandmas said, “Sure we can!
Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact age.”
Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn’t do it, he dropped his drawers.
The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times.
Then they all piped up and said, “You’re 87 years old!”
Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, “How in the world did you guess?”
Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, the three old ladies happily yelled in unison…
“We were at your birthday party yesterday!”
Three mischievous old Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home.
When an old Grandpa walked by.
And one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, “We bet we can tell exactly how old you are.”
The old man said, “There is no way you can guess it, you old fools.”
One of the old Grandmas said, “Sure we can!
Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact age.”
Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn’t do it, he dropped his drawers.
The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times.
Then they all piped up and said, “You’re 87 years old!”
Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, “How in the world did you guess?”
Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, the three old ladies happily yelled in unison…
“We were at your birthday party yesterday!”
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