Gramps Jokes
9 gramps jokes and hilarious gramps puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about gramps that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Silly & Ridiculous Gramps Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What is a good gramps joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
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My Gramps just passed away. This was his favorite joke to tell.
*Sorry for the meta of this, I'm still reeling a little. I post two or three (or ten--sorry for breaking rules) jokes on this sub every day. A lot of them are simply awful, but they're all original, and my Gramps was a huge inspiration for me becoming a comedy "writer." But this is an old joke, and he loved to tell it every time I saw him. He knew quite a few others too, but this was always my favorite.*
A man is out on a golf course, when he hears someone shout "FORE!"
He looks this way and that but doesn't see the ball, until *WHACK!* He shouts and curses and moans, holding both hands over his c**....
"Oh, you poor thing!" a woman cries, running over to assist him. She gets on her knees and starts to rub his groin with her hands. "Is that better?"
He shakes his head, so she pulls his pants down and starts rubbing it in earnest. After a few minutes, she smiles and says, "That seemed to help a lot!"
"Oh, it was wonderful!" he says. "But the ball hit my thumb!"
*
What is the most popular bank in Wales?
Welsh Fargo...
...gramps made me do it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My grandfather said, "If I ever get alzheimer's I'll kill myself"
I said "I know gramps, you told me that already"
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Doctor, I've got a problem
Doc: What is that?
Gramps: I don't know why, but I keep p**... everyday at 8 am sharp.
Doc: How is that a problem?
Gramps: I wake up at 9am.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Just found out my gramps has aids.
Apparently they are in his ears??
My highschool teacher just became a grandfather
True story, a little background I had a teacher in highschool that I kept up with after graduation, he is also a little Aspergery.
So I just found out that he became a grandfather so I asked him What are you gonna have the kid call you ie grandad, grandpa, gramps etc... And in complete seriousness he responds with
"He's not gonna call me anything he can't talk"
A teenage boy and his grandfather were fishing one day.
While fishing, the old man starts talking about how times have changed. The boy acknowledges this and starts talking about the various problems and diseases going around today. The teen says, "Gramps, they didn't have a whole lot of problems with too many kids when you were young did they?" The grandfather replies, "Nope." The teen says, "Well, what did you guys use for birth control?" The old guy replies, "A wedding ring."
Who's winning
Went to visit my Granddad. He was watching a basketball game.
"What's the score Gramps?"
"92 to 86."
"Who's winning?" I asked.
"92"
A little boy is playing in the garden
with his grandpa sitting close by and watching. The boy finds a worm sticking out of a hole, and excitedly pulls it out to show his granddad. His gramps says, "very nice. I'll give you $50 if you can get it back in the hole." The little boys eyes widen, and he runs inside to get a can of stiffen quick spray, sprays it all over the worm, and waits a bit before sliding it back into the hole. He looks back at his grandpa with a huge grin, who says back to him. "Wow! Well done! Now I'll give you another 50 if you tell me the name of that stuff."
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