Grammarly Jokes
113 grammarly jokes and hilarious grammarly puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about grammarly that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Grammarly Short Jokes
Short grammarly jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The grammarly humour may include short jokes also.
- What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws? It was given two consecutive sentences.
- No one laughed at my joke I made in school so maybe you guys will like it What do you call an english teacher who knows how to code
A pro-grammar - I asked the grammar police about a crime in the capital... They told me that case was sensitive.
- Grammar tip Farther = physical distance
Further = metaphorical distance
Father = emotional distance - The grammar teacher said "In English, two negatives make an affirmative, but two affirmatives never make a negative." A student replied... "Yeah, right!"
- A woman texted me with the message, "Your adorable." I texted back, "No. YOU'RE adorable."
Now she's falling for me. I was only correcting her grammar. - I got pulled over by the Grammar Police. The cop was pretty passive about the sentence he handed me.
- Did you hear about the poor chap who got smashed in the head by a grammar textbook? He remains in a comma.
- Quick Grammar Lesson. They're = they are
We're = we are
You're = you are
My fire = the one desired
Believe me = when I say
I want it = that way. - Someone posted they had just baked some synonym buns. I replied, you mean just like the ones grammar used to make?
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Grammarly One Liners
Which grammarly one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with grammarly? I can suggest the ones about and .
- I once threw an abstinence party... And no one came.
- I named my son Gram It's short for Grammar because he was supposed to be a period.
- Why is nostalgia like grammar? We find the present tense and the past perfect
- First rule of English grammar, Double negatives are a no no.
- I never learned proper grammar because of the accident. I was in a comma.
- Synonym rolls... Just like grammar used to make.
- Did you hear the CEO of Honda wont be back next year? He's leaving of his own accord.
- What do you get when you teach Android grammar? A droid
- What's a grammar teacher's favorite dessert? SYNONYM ROLLS!
- What do you say to comfort a friend struggling with grammar? There, they're, their...
- Who corrects Santa's grammar? A subordinate Clause.
- I just blocked someone for correcting my grammar and it feelded good.
- Why did the grammar teacher go to jail for so long? He had a run-on sentence.
- What is "Worse then the Holocaust"? Poor Grammar
- English grammar The plural of Karen is HOA.
Grammarly Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about grammarly you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make grammarly pranks.
Pupil shows art for teacher
A pupil came and showed something that he draw. He said that he drawed a cow eating grass. The teacher said: But there's nothing there! Then the pupil said: It's because the cow ate all the grass and went away to look for some more grass.
*Excuse my grammar, not perfect at english*
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So a cop pulls over a guy for wearing his seatbelt..
tells the citizen that his captain gave him a 100 dollar bill to give to the 100th person he sees wearing their seat belt. The citizen looks a little confused, but of course, accepts the note, and proceeds to leave. The officer asks, " So, if you don't mind my asking, what are you going to spend the money on?" To a reply of, " yes, i do mind your asking, and frankly, i don't think its any of your business." The officer of course is stunned, but , as he goes to leave, the drivers objects. "If you must know, i'll probably spend it on getting my drivers license." The cop is taken aback, as the passenger says, " Oh don't listen to him, he's drunk." Shortly thereafter, a knocking comes from the trunk, and a muffled voice says, " are we over the border yet?"
edited for grammar n**....
Trees are allergic to bees..
..when bees get too close, [they break out in hives.] (/spoiler)
Original joke!
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As I read my son's s**... letter, I couldn't help but feel that I had failed him as a parent....
His grammar and spelling were terrible.
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Where do Grammar n**... get put on trial?
You're*-emburg
^^^^^^I'm ^^^^^^sorry...
**
Old Joke From Bosnia
A boy rides up to his friend on his bike, he says "Look at me I can ride my bike!"
The friend says "Mhmm"
The next day the boy rides up again
Boy "Look I can ride with out using my legs!"
friend "Mmmhm"
Again the boy rides up again later that day
Boy "Look I can ride with out my legs or arms!"
friend "Mmmhmm"
The next day the boy rides up again on his bike
the boy says "Look I can ride without my teeth!"
(Sorry for the bad grammar)
I gathered a list of ten puns yesterday.
And i wanted to see if any were reasonable. So i put them all to the test to see if they would pass.
No pun-in-ten-did.
Teachers be like...
That is improper grammar!
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What do women and grammar n**... have in common?
One missed period is enough to freak them out.
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Overheard on the o**... black market
"Got awful grammar? Buy this colon!"
A little boy answered a knock at the door...
A little boy answered a knock at the door to find a well-dressed woman.
"Is your mother home?" she asked, politely.
"Uh uh," he said.
"Okay," she said, put off by his lack of manners. "Is your father home?"
"Nope. He done gone to work and he ain't gonna be back 'til after dinner."
"Young man," she said sternly. "Where's your grammar?"
"She's in the kitchen... Bakin' cookies."
*
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A child asks his father: ''What is '**...''?''
He answers: ''Well son, it is something that two people that really like each other do to each others g**... with their mouths so that they achieve o**....''
The child: ''Okay... then what's ''written''?''
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I would rather cuddle then have s**....
If your good with grammar you'll get it.
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DAE hate poor grammar on they're front page?
Wishing Well
English is second language.... excuse grammar
My penny went whoosh whoosh down the wishing well
I was happy. Everyone around screaming. I threw quarter down, made wish, and now everyone mad about my wife penny
What is worse than bad grammar?
pour grammar
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Grammar n**... are self-contradictory
Because they are anti-semantic.
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75 story hotel
Phil, Jim, and John were at a convention together sharing a large suite at the top of a . After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear the elevators were broken, and they now had to climb 75 flights of stairs.
Phil said to Jim and John,"let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something more interesting. Hmm, I'll tell jokes the first 25 floors, Jim, you can sing songs the next 25 floors and John you can say your collection of sad stories."
The others agreed and they started the climb for their hotel room. At the 26th floor Phil stopped with his jokes and Jim started his songs. At the 51st floor songs stopped and John's sad stories started.
"I guess I'll begin with my saddest story first. I forgot the room key in the car."
(EDIT) FIXED THE GRAMMAR d**...
Growing old is a lot like grammar
The past is perfect and the present, tense
A man parks his car on the street and goes into a shop....
...When he comes out, the car is not where he left it and apparently was stolen. So he calls the police and hopelessly goes back home. Two days later, he finds his car at his front door, with a note left in:
I am very sorry but I had to borrow your car, because my wife was in labor and about to give birth and I had to act quickly. I deeply apologize and send these front-row concert tickets for you and your wife to enjoy this tuesday evening.
So the man and his wife go to the concert tuesday evening. When they return home, they realize someone broke in and the house was burgled. And a note was left on the floor: Soo, did you like the concert?
Sorry for the terrible grammar :D
Grammar joke
I told my girlfriend "sweetie, I want you beside me, in front of me,behind me, on top of me, under me, and to the left and right of me" she said "Honey, are you prepositioning me?"
Why is grammar class the most boring?
It puts all the students in a ,
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Dad: Why did the Grammar teacher slap you today?
Dad: Why did the Grammar teacher slap you today?
Son: I just wanted to clear my doubt. I asked her a valid question for which she had no answer, so she took out her frustration by being violent.
Dad : What was the question?
Son: I asked her why 'bra' is singular when it covers two things & p**...' plural when it covers only one
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Grammar n**... really make me fuhrious.
I'm sorry. That joke was really out of mein kampfort zone.
Anne Frankly, it was just bad.
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There's a s**... new teacher at school
In grammar class, she asks who can say a sentence including an expression of politeness. Naughty Johnny raises his hand.
'I would be most delighted to make out with you Miss Campbell... and bang you, too!'
Miss Campbell blushes and yells:
'Out!'
Naughty Johnny gets his things and walks towards the door, when suddenly Miss Campbell says:
'Not you... the others!'
So i said to my wife...
"Every time you correct my grammar, I love you a little bit fewer"
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What do Grammar n**... support?
The Third Write
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My English teacher is living proof that Grammar n**... still exist.
Sorry... Alt-Write.
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The term 'Grammar n**...' is outdated and offensive...
...we prefer to be called the Alt-Write
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s**... positions for grammar n**...
There was once a book written in ancient India about s**... positions using punctuation marks.
It was called the comma sutra.
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Why are there so many grammar n**... on the internet?
Because English majors have no jobs.
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Math class
Teacher asks Johnny:
"Imagine you have $200. And you give $50 to Jane, $50 to Suzi, $50 to Melissa. What would you have?"
"An o**...?"
Edited: names spelling, grammar.
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The alt-right can't be n**...
Their grammar is terrible!
A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but Saran Wrap underwear
And the doctor says, "Well I can clearly see your nuts."
(So much subtler as a spoken joke. If you don't get it, consider you're grammar lessons!) ;)
Saw a homeless man eating grass in the park...
Asked him "Why are you eating grass?"
He said "I am very hungry."
"Oh. Okay then. Come with me."
You should've seen his face when I showed him my backyard.
What do you call an Android with perfect grammar?
A droid.
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I hate grammar n**...,
There so annoying.
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My wife is an English teacher
She always corrects my grammar while having s**.... I'll go "s**... it good" and she'll reply "it's s**... it well!". I'll say "Who's your daddy" and she'll correct "who's your dad".
She gets particularly annoyed about my improper use of colon.
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What do Grammar n**... call their movement?
The Alt-Write.
I have two different grammar teachers teaching me conflicting things.
Sometimes I just don't know whom to believe.
The difference between cats and dogs comes down to grammar...
Dogs think you're god , whereas cats think your god .
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Where do grammar n**... fall on the political compass?
Alt-Write
Grammar lesson
Two people were camping in a campground. The first says, "I think I'll go for a run." The second replies, "Don't you mean 'ran,' since it's past tents?"
Remember kids
the Toys R Us bankruptcy and liquidation teaches us that poor spelling and grammar will always catch up with you eventually.
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Where are all my grammar n**... at
Probably in he'll
When the doctor told me having a Colostomy would improve my grammar, I didn't believe him.
But it was true; I now use a semi-colon on a regular basis.
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Grammar n**... should be locked up!
There textual predators!
Talent is like good grammar...
You either have it or you ain't.
In English grammar, periods are very important. They can alter the entire meaning of what is being said.
For example,
Johnny was on his trampoline, moving up and down in total bliss.
Johnny was on his period, moving up and down in total bliss.
My high school English teacher was so mean!
She would walk around the classroom and stop to ask students random grammar questions. I remember this one time she was walking by my desk and she stopped, pointed at me and said "Quick, name 2 pronouns!"
Startled, I looked at her and replied "who, me?"
Why are writers really good at coding?
Because they are really into Pro grammar.
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How many grammar n**... does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Too
Grammar is weird
yes, it's
The Last Exam
(Sorry for terrible formatting and grammar)
A Philosophy teacher was handing out empty papers for the last exam of the year. The students had one simple task to complete,
They had to convince their teacher that the chair he had placed on the middle of the classroom didn't exist.
After 40 minutes, students returned their answer sheets. All of them had complex sentences and long paragraphs except one.
It had a single sentence.
What chair?
He was the only one to pass the exam.
If you're genetically predisposed to spelling and grammar errors, does that mean you're…
…typo positive?
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d**...'s Sporting Goods came out against circumcision this past weekend
Changing their official slogan to d**... Sporting Hoods.
Edit* grammar
Things I hate
These are 5 things I hate.
1. people not using capital letters.
Two. People who aren't consistent
3 People who dont use proper grammar.
4.peoplewhodon'tusespacesm
5. Cliffha-
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I don't objectify women.
But grammar does.
I spoke with Bill Withers and I told him that "Ain't no sunshine" was bad grammar.
He said "I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know"
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I've had it all with the grammar n**...
We should not tolerate antisemanticism.
I'm thinking of writing a joke about mispronounced grammar.
I'll gerund to it later.
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Proper Grammar, Guys
Capitalisation is the difference between helping your Uncle j**... a horse and helping your uncle j**... a horse.
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I found a new way to p**... off grammar n**...
Well, sort've.