Grammar Jokes
147 grammar jokes and hilarious grammar puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about grammar that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Do you know someone who gets stressed out about grammar mistakes? Get a smile out of them with these hilarious grammar jokes. Whether you’re looking for jokes about grammar nazis or punctuation gaffes, this collection has something for every student studying grammar! Get ready to giggle your way through grammar mistakes and be inspired to use grammar correctly grammatically.
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Funniest Grammar Short Jokes
Short grammar jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The grammar humour may include short language jokes also.
- What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws? It was given two consecutive sentences.
- No one laughed at my joke I made in school so maybe you guys will like it What do you call an english teacher who knows how to code
A pro-grammar - I asked the grammar police about a crime in the capital... They told me that case was sensitive.
- Grammar tip Farther = physical distance
Further = metaphorical distance
Father = emotional distance - The grammar teacher said "In English, two negatives make an affirmative, but two affirmatives never make a negative." A student replied... "Yeah, right!"
- A woman texted me with the message, "Your adorable." I texted back, "No. YOU'RE adorable."
Now she's falling for me. I was only correcting her grammar. - I got pulled over by the Grammar Police. The cop was pretty passive about the sentence he handed me.
- Whats the difference between a Priest and Acne? *Acne waits until you're a teen to come on your face*
^^^^^^^^^^edit^^^^^^^^^^, ^^^^^^^^^^grammar - Did you hear about the poor chap who got smashed in the head by a grammar textbook? He remains in a comma.
- Quick Grammar Lesson. They're = they are
We're = we are
You're = you are
My fire = the one desired
Believe me = when I say
I want it = that way.
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Grammar One Liners
Which grammar one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with grammar? I can suggest the ones about dictionary and geometry.
- I once threw an abstinence party... And no one came.
- I named my son Gram It's short for Grammar because he was supposed to be a period.
- Why is nostalgia like grammar? We find the present tense and the past perfect
- First rule of English grammar, Double negatives are a no no.
- I never learned proper grammar because of the accident. I was in a comma.
- Synonym rolls... Just like grammar used to make.
- Did you hear the CEO of Honda wont be back next year? He's leaving of his own accord.
- What do you get when you teach Android grammar? A droid
- What's a grammar teacher's favorite dessert? SYNONYM ROLLS!
- What do you say to comfort a friend struggling with grammar? There, they're, their...
- How do you console somebody with bad grammar skills? There, their, they're.
- Who corrects Santa's grammar? A subordinate Clause.
- I just blocked someone for correcting my grammar and it feelded good.
- I baked some synonym buns this morning Just like grammar used to make.
- Why did the grammar teacher go to jail for so long? He had a run-on sentence.
Grammar Through Jokes
Here is a list of funny grammar through jokes and even better grammar through puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Someone posted they had just baked some synonym buns. I replied, you mean just like the ones grammar used to make?
- Remember kids the Toys R Us bankruptcy and liquidation teaches us that poor spelling and grammar will always catch up with you eventually.
- What is "Worse then the Holocaust"? Poor Grammar
- Quick grammar lesson: You're: You are
My: fire
The one: desire
Believe when: I say
I want it: that way - Trees are allergic to bees.. ..when bees get too close, [they break out in hives.] (/spoiler)
Original joke!
- English grammar The plural of Karen is HOA.
- I'm thinking of writing a joke about mispronounced grammar. I'll gerund to it later.
- Grammar is weird yes, it's
- What is worse than bad grammar? pour grammar
- I spoke with Bill Withers and I told him that "Ain't no sunshine" was bad grammar. He said "I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know"
Bad Grammar Jokes
Here is a list of funny bad grammar jokes and even better bad grammar puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I am unhappy with my made up, mediocre cheesy joke about my bad grammar. I want to make a gouda one.
- Bad grammar makes me [sic]
- My grammar is so bad That I fell in a good....
- Why are female inmates bad at grammar? Because they have their period in the middle of their sentence.
- How does an atom with bad grammar respond to an order? I on it.
- My English teacher always says my grammar's bad. But yesterday she missed a period.
- There is two things I are bad at: 1. My Grammar.
2. My Math.
3.My sense of Humor. - What does me at the Bad Grammar Competion and the weather have in common? We both win'd
- I'm very bad at grammar. Even my blood is a typo.
- I hate bad grammar. It makes me [sic].
English Grammar Jokes
Here is a list of funny english grammar jokes and even better english grammar puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- English is a tough language... It's known for beating up other languages in dark alleys for little more than spare grammar and loose vocabulary.
- I cant English good? I prefer to speaking to writing on paper so that my grammar isn't as tearable.
- "The Participial Adjective Part of English Grammar" HM
- What is Buzz Lightyear's favourite part of the English grammar? To-infinitive!
- I'm dating an English teacher who keeps correcting my grammar during s**.... She gets particularly annoyed about my improper use of the colon.
- Why are there so many grammar n**... on the internet? Because English majors have no jobs.
- Why are there a lot of grammar n**... on the Internet? Because English majors can't find jobs!
- My English teacher is living proof that Grammar n**... still exist. Sorry... Alt-Write.
Grammar Day Jokes
Here is a list of funny grammar day jokes and even better grammar day puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- March forth is National Grammar Day March forth, it is National grammar day on March 4th!
Grammar Nazi Jokes
Here is a list of funny grammar nazi jokes and even better grammar nazi puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How many grammar n**... does it take to screw in a light bulb? Too
- How many grammar n**... does it take to change a lightbulb Too
- The term 'Grammar n**...' is outdated and offensive... ...we prefer to be called the Alt-Write
- The alt-right can't be n**... Their grammar is terrible!
- Grammar n**... no longer exist Their called the Alt-Write now
- I found a new way to p**... off grammar n**... Well, sort've.
- What do women and grammar n**... have in common? One missed period is enough to freak them out.
- I don't think it's correct to call them grammar n**... anymore... They seem to prefer the label "alt-write" nowadays.
- "Grammar n**... are literally the worst." "No, actual n**... are literally the worst."
- What do Grammar n**... call their movement? The Alt-Write.
Cheeky Grammar Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about grammar you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean rules jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make grammar pranks.
Pupil shows art for teacher
A pupil came and showed something that he draw. He said that he drawed a cow eating grass. The teacher said: But there's nothing there! Then the pupil said: It's because the cow ate all the grass and went away to look for some more grass.
*Excuse my grammar, not perfect at english*
A blonde walks into a library..
she goes up to the librarians desk and says, "I'll have a quarter pounder with cheese, fries, and a diet coke please." The librarian looks at her in disbelief. "Uh, honey, this is a library, and not McDonalds." The blonde is totally taken aback as she looks around and see everyone quietly reading books. She says, "Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!"
*whispers* "I'll have a quarter pounder with cheese, fries, and a diet coke please."
Good Grammar is the Difference...
...between
* Helping your Uncle j**... a horse
and
* Helping your Uncle j**... a horse
As I read my son's s**... letter, I couldn't help but feel that I had failed him as a parent....
His grammar and spelling were terrible.
Where do Grammar n**... get put on trial?
You're*-emburg
^^^^^^I'm ^^^^^^sorry...
**
Old Joke From Bosnia
A boy rides up to his friend on his bike, he says "Look at me I can ride my bike!"
The friend says "Mhmm"
The next day the boy rides up again
Boy "Look I can ride with out using my legs!"
friend "Mmmhm"
Again the boy rides up again later that day
Boy "Look I can ride with out my legs or arms!"
friend "Mmmhmm"
The next day the boy rides up again on his bike
the boy says "Look I can ride without my teeth!"
(Sorry for the bad grammar)
Teachers be like...
That is improper grammar!
A little boy answered a knock at the door...
A little boy answered a knock at the door to find a well-dressed woman.
"Is your mother home?" she asked, politely.
"Uh uh," he said.
"Okay," she said, put off by his lack of manners. "Is your father home?"
"Nope. He done gone to work and he ain't gonna be back 'til after dinner."
"Young man," she said sternly. "Where's your grammar?"
"She's in the kitchen... Bakin' cookies."
*
I would rather cuddle then have s**....
If your good with grammar you'll get it.
DAE hate poor grammar on they're front page?
Wishing Well
English is second language.... excuse grammar
My penny went whoosh whoosh down the wishing well
I was happy. Everyone around screaming. I threw quarter down, made wish, and now everyone mad about my wife penny
Grammar n**... are self-contradictory
Because they are anti-semantic.
Dad: Why did the Grammar teacher slap you today?
Dad: Why did the Grammar teacher slap you today?
Son: I just wanted to clear my doubt. I asked her a valid question for which she had no answer, so she took out her frustration by being violent.
Dad : What was the question?
Son: I asked her why 'bra' is singular when it covers two things & p**...' plural when it covers only one
Grammar n**... really make me fuhrious.
I'm sorry. That joke was really out of mein kampfort zone.
Anne Frankly, it was just bad.
There's a s**... new teacher at school
In grammar class, she asks who can say a sentence including an expression of politeness. Naughty Johnny raises his hand.
'I would be most delighted to make out with you Miss Campbell... and bang you, too!'
Miss Campbell blushes and yells:
'Out!'
Naughty Johnny gets his things and walks towards the door, when suddenly Miss Campbell says:
'Not you... the others!'
So i said to my wife...
"Every time you correct my grammar, I love you a little bit fewer"
What do Grammar n**... support?
The Third Write
Who do grammar n**... hang out with now?
The alt-write.
I can't call people Grammar n**... on social media anymore....
Now I call them the Alt-Write.
s**... positions for grammar n**...
There was once a book written in ancient India about s**... positions using punctuation marks.
It was called the comma sutra.
Math class
Teacher asks Johnny:
"Imagine you have $200. And you give $50 to Jane, $50 to Suzi, $50 to Melissa. What would you have?"
"An o**...?"
Edited: names spelling, grammar.
A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but Saran Wrap underwear
And the doctor says, "Well I can clearly see your nuts."
(So much subtler as a spoken joke. If you don't get it, consider you're grammar lessons!) ;)
How do you get an grammar n**...'s attention?
That. That is how.
Saw a homeless man eating grass in the park...
Asked him "Why are you eating grass?"
He said "I am very hungry."
"Oh. Okay then. Come with me."
You should've seen his face when I showed him my backyard.
My wife is an English teacher
She always corrects my grammar while having s**.... I'll go "s**... it good" and she'll reply "it's s**... it well!". I'll say "Who's your daddy" and she'll correct "who's your dad".
She gets particularly annoyed about my improper use of colon.
The difference between cats and dogs comes down to grammar...
Dogs think you're god , whereas cats think your god .
Where do grammar n**... fall on the political compass?
Alt-Write
Grammar lesson
Two people were camping in a campground. The first says, "I think I'll go for a run." The second replies, "Don't you mean 'ran,' since it's past tents?"
Where are all my grammar n**... at
Probably in he'll
My high school English teacher was so mean!
She would walk around the classroom and stop to ask students random grammar questions. I remember this one time she was walking by my desk and she stopped, pointed at me and said "Quick, name 2 pronouns!"
Startled, I looked at her and replied "who, me?"
The Last Exam
(Sorry for terrible formatting and grammar)
A Philosophy teacher was handing out empty papers for the last exam of the year. The students had one simple task to complete,
They had to convince their teacher that the chair he had placed on the middle of the classroom didn't exist.
After 40 minutes, students returned their answer sheets. All of them had complex sentences and long paragraphs except one.
It had a single sentence.
What chair?
He was the only one to pass the exam.
I could really go for some synonym buns.
Just like the ones grammar used to make.
If you're genetically predisposed to spelling and grammar errors, does that mean you're…
…typo positive?
d**...'s Sporting Goods came out against circumcision this past weekend
Changing their official slogan to d**... Sporting Hoods.
Edit* grammar
I blocked a girl for correcting my grammar
It feelded good
How many grammar n**... are needed to change a lightbulb?
Too
I've had it all with the grammar n**...
We should not tolerate antisemanticism.
Proper Grammar, Guys
Capitalisation is the difference between helping your Uncle j**... a horse and helping your uncle j**... a horse.
Two students, James and John were given a grammar test by their teacher. The question was,"is it better to use 'had' or 'had had' in this example sentence?"
The teacher collected the tests and looked over their answers.
James, while John had had 'had',had had 'had had'. 'Had had' had had a better effect on the teacher.
I'm getting one of the first covid shots
I got choosen to receive one of the first covid vaccines shots. Since I'm 78yo old Vietnam veteran. I said, "Can I get it in my left arm". They said sure. I said Well good, it got blown off in Vietnam in 68, can you bring me back my West Point ring while your over there.
Edit for grammar.
Some worrying news for grammar n**..., a new study shows...
that homophone misuse is at an awl thyme hi.