The Best 50 Graduated Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Graduated jokes. There are some graduated psychology jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these graduated graduate puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Graduated Jokes and Puns

Georgia joke

The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."

I graduated in zooscatology.

"BULLSHIT!"

What do you call a medical student who graduated last in his class?

Doctor.

Graduated joke, What do you call a medical student who graduated last in his class?

What do you call a scientific measuring instrument with degrees?

A graduated cylinder.

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This is the only joke I've ever thought of.

What do you call a Native American who graduated from medical school?

A doctor you racist


How do you know if somebody graduated from Harvard?

They'll tell you.

My friend just graduated from her ballet course in university.

She got a (2:2)

Graduated joke, My friend just graduated from her ballet course in university.

A man in a baklava that covers his face is robbing another guy...

- "GIVE ME YOUR WALLET!" he yells as he looks menacing with a knife.

The other man gives him the wallet, and the robber opens it to take the money out...

- "Only 3 dollars?, what do you do for a living?"

- "Im an engineer"

The robber takes off the baklava and says:

- "dude... what year did you graduated?"

Fun Fact: Jared Fogle was a Mormon

I heard he graduated top of his class at Bring Em Young University

What's the smartest piece of lab equipment?

A graduated cylinder.

My sister graduated from college over a year ago and is still unemployed...

I found her sobbing on the couch so I asked, "having an existential cry, sis?"

You can explore graduated diploma reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean graduated highschool dad jokes. There are also graduated puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


When I graduated high school I wanted to buy a motorcycle..

When I finished high school I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had an uncle who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle. - Anthony Jeselnik

What do you call a graduated spider?

A Web Designer

I graduated with a 2:2 in Sports Journalism

It would have been a 2:1 but they equalised at the last minute.

What did the pop can become when it finished high school?

A graduated cylinder.

Graduation unlike before

2 Asian kids graduated from High School. The school had never witnessed this phenomena, but both of them were #1 in their class. Long story short the parents couldn't be happier....it was a Nguyen, Nguyen for them.

Graduated joke, Graduation unlike before

Why were the Beakers all packed and moved out of the university lab?

They were graduated

My math teacher from highschool thought she was so smart and intelligent

yet when I graduated, she was still in highschool.

What do you call a 6 feet tall circle that recently got his diploma from college?

A Graduated cylinder.


Name your newborn Cylinder

so the day he finishes high school he'd become a Graduated Cylinder

What do you call someone who barely graduated from med school?

Doctor.

What do you call a can after it completes college?

A graduated cylinder.

My brother wanted to play cowboys and indians

So I put on a ten gallon hat and and chaps and he went to MIT and graduated in computer science.

How can you tell that compasses and scales are intelligent?

Because they're all graduated.

A gynecologist decided to become a mechanic...

He graduated mechanic school with a 5.2 gpa and asked his teacher how that was possible.

The teacher said "Well, you aced the written exam thats half. Then you reassembled the motor perfectly, and we had to give you the extra credit when you did it all through the Muffler"!

A waiter approaches a table celebrating their daughters graduation...

Father: Our daughter just graduated from SCU with an English degree!

Waiter: That's so great! Congratulations! I actually have a Master's degree in English Literature myself. Can I get you folks started with some chips and salsa?

Why was the thermometer smarter than the graduated cylinder?

Because he had more degrees.

Why did the stripper decide not to go through with the breast augmentation surgery?

Because she found out her doctor graduated from the University of Hard Knockers.

My 87 year old, retired navy grandpa told this joke at family dinner after I graduated physician assistant school: "Well did they teach you how to make a hormone?"

Step on her toe

Why did the test tube go to college?

To become a graduated cylinder.

I would have graduated from Ninja School

But nobody knew I was in the class

My buddy signed up for one of those, "learn to be a plumber in 6 weeks" courses you see on TV and his final exam was at 9am today...

He showed up at 3pm, looked at the test paper and said, "Looks like I'm gonna need a pen for this job. I'll have to pop round to my suppliers for one. Be right back."

Graduated top of his class...

What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?

"You may have graduated, but I've got hundreds of degrees"

Did you hear about the circle that graduated college

Apparently it got three-hundred and sixty degrees

My brother can no longer return to his school, especially after what he just did...

He graduated.

I ask my brother if he wanted to watch any war movies.

He said he was tired of watching people getting shot. I said "you never saw anyone get shot, you graduated HS 12 years ago."

A dolphin graduated from college with a philosophy major.

He thought, "what's my porpoise now?"

A granpda asks his just graduated grandchild

Grandpa: So what will you do for a living now that you earned your bachelor's degree?

Grandchild: I'm a model during the week, I'm a DJ in the weekends and an influencer by contract

Grandpa: I remember when I just graduated I was also unemployed son, be patient

I graduated in the top of my class.

The top half.

What do you call someone who graduated last in their class at medical school? A Doctor.

Not my doctor though.

I graduated top of my class at gay conversion therapy

Everyone else wanted to be bottoms

I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in graphic design

I have over 300 confirmed designs and don't have a single job...

What do you call a can that earns a degree?

A graduated cylinder.

My baby girl graduated law school today

I am so proud to finally call her my daughter in law.

My sister graduated med school and is growing antsy at her minimal workload

She just needs to have patients.

Post Grad Plans

When my son graduated high school, he wanted to open up a dispensary, but i wanted him to become a doctor. When it came time to choose I told him: "It's my way, or the highway.

In Kent a business man was con

In Kent a business man was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Essex and I need some help. If I were to give you £20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings!"

what do you call medical students who graduated online?

google docs

A dentist graduated from Hogwarts...

He's now known as the Wizard of Aahhhs

What did the daddy fire say to the mommy fire when their child graduated?

"That's ar-son"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the graduated laude jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working graduated dropout piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes