Graduated Harvard Jokes
15 graduated harvard jokes and hilarious graduated harvard puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about graduated harvard that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Graduated Harvard Short Jokes
Short graduated harvard jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The graduated harvard humour may include short graduated jokes also.
- How many Harvard graduates does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. He holds up the light bulb, and the world revolves around him
*I'll see myself out* - What does a vegetarian and a Harvard graduate have in common? They will tell you all about it!
- this is pretty funny Texan: "Where are you from?"
Harvard Graduate: "I come from a place where we do not end sentences with prepositions."
Texan: "Okay where are you from, j**...?" - Texan: "Where are you from?" Harvard Graduate: "I come from a place where we do not end sentences with prepositions."
Texan: "Okay— where are you from, j**...?"
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Graduated Harvard One Liners
Which graduated harvard one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with graduated harvard? I can suggest the ones about graduated high and college graduation.
- How do you get a Harvard graduate off your doorstep? Tip him for the pizza.
- How do you know if somebody graduated from Harvard? They'll tell you.
- How do you know that someone you met is a Harvard graduate? He already told you so.
Fun-Filled Graduated Harvard Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What funny jokes about graduated harvard you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean college graduates jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make graduated harvard pranks.
Pavlov's birds
An MIT student spent an entire summer going to the Harvard football field every day wearing a black and white striped shirt, walking up and down the field for ten or fifteen minutes throwing birdseed all over the field, blowing a whistle and then walking off the field. At the end of the summer, it came time for the first Harvard home football team, the referee walked onto the field and blew the whistle, and the game had to be delayed for a half hour to wait for the birds to get off of the field. The guy wrote his thesis on this, and graduated.
Poetry contest
A r**... and a Harvard graduate are in a poetry contest where they have to come up with a poem that has the word Timbuktu in it. The Harvard graduate goes first.
Amongst the desert sands
Away ride the caravans
Camels leaving, two by two
Destination: Timbuktu
The audience applauds, thinking that the r**... does not have a chance. Then the r**... goes.
Me and Tim a'huntin' went,
Found some w**... in a pop up tent.
They was three and we was two
So I bucked one and Timbuktu!
Two recent college graduates walk into the mens room at the same time.
They proceed to the urinals to relieve their bladders. When they finish one walks to the sink and washes his hands.
The other about to exit without washing his hands.
Sink guy- at Harvard they taught us to wash our hands after using the restroom.
Other guy- at my college they taught us not to p**... on our hands.
The Wasp
There once was a wasp, he wasn't very happy with his life in the hive. One day he decided to go back to high school. After his senior year he graduated with flying colours, a 4.0 GPA, honours with distinction and 4 scholarships. After high school he applies to Harvard. Of course, he gets accepted and breezes through, finishing with 5 phDs. He then decides he wants to go into politics. He starts out municipally and then onto state government, until he finally decides to run for President of the United States. He wins in a landslide, he was so popular that it was rumoured the opposition even voted for him. After his 8 years in office (yes, he got reelected) he remembers all the other wasps he left behind in the hive. He goes back to visit them. He sees his mother, his father, his auntie, his uncle, his brothers, his sisters, his cousins, and his one in-bred half brother on his dads side. When he is there he gets thirsty, he goes to the watering hole but there is a gigantic line, he estimates that it would take him 3 days to get a drink. "No point in waiting that long." He said. Then he made his way to the cider, but there is an even longer line there. Suddenly, he remembers that almost no one drinks punch in his hive. He makes his way over to the punch bowl, and guess what? There is no punchline.
Timbuktu
In the finals of a national poetry contest, the last two contestants are a Harvard graduate and a r**.... The Harvard graduate steps forward to receive the last subject. The judges tell him 'Timbuktu'. He thinks for a moment and recites his poem:
Across the vast and open sands
March a lonely caravan.
As they march, two by two
Destination Timbuktu
The crowd goes wild as the r**... steps forward. The judges tell him his subject is Timbuktu. He thinks for a while, when a big grin spreads across his face.
A huntin me and my friend Tim went.
We found three w**... in a pop-up tent.
Of them were three, and of us were two,
so I bucked one and Tim-buck-two!