Happy Graders Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
A class of 3rd graders return from their field trip to the farm and the teacher asks them, "what kind of noises did you hear at the farm?"
The first kid raises his hand and says, "I heard the cow go moo!"
The second kid raises his hand and says, "I heard the pig go oink!"
The third kid raises his hand and says, "I heard the farmer yell 'get off my tractor you little fucker!'"
A Weenie Contest.
Three 3rd Graders, an Irish, an Italian, and a Black are in the bathroom during recess and they decide to have a weenie contest to see who has the biggest weenie! The Irish boy pulls his out first and it's pretty small. The Italian goes next and it's about average. Then the Black Boy pulls his out and it's clearly the largest, but the other boys say "Well you won, but it's because you're black!"
So that night when the black boy goes home, his mom asks him what he did in school that day. He tells her how they did coloring, and reading, and what they learned, and how he played recess, but then he says "And mom, today me and my friends had a weenie contest, and I won! But mom, the others boys said I only won because I'm black". To which his mom replies "Tyrone, you didn't win because you're black, you won because you're 17!"
Place Value
This is not so much of a joke as an amusing true story.
I was teaching math to some first graders, and we had been discussing place value for the past week.
It was Friday and I had been explaining that a 1 in the one's place is worth 1, but a 1 in the ten's place was worth 10.
So, I said to the class, "Six....seven....eight....nine....................ten. One, zero. Now what does that mean."
A young fellow in the back of the room raised his hand and said, "The end of the easy numbers."
Why do first graders make terrible gardeners?
Because they can't weed.
In need of an eye-related joke.
I'm about to be doing a presentation for a bunch of 5th graders. The subject is eyes, and I'm wanting to end it with some kind of eye-related joke as they're walking away. It needs to make sense in context and be appropriate. Anyone have any ideas?
A teacher asks a class of 1st graders
"If you're on a date how do you politely say you are going to the restroom?" A little girl says "Please excuse me while I go to the little girls room" the teacher says that's perfect, anyone else? A little boy says "If you'll excuse me for a moment, I need to shake hands with a dear friend of mine that I hope to introduce you to later."
Two 5th graders are doing Math homework.
One tells the other, "I don't know what 99 is in Roman numerals."
The other lowers her glasses and says, "IC."
Why did yo girl cross the road? (Joke from one of my 5th graders)
Cause she saw me.
Another: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Cause he saw some chicks.
