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Grade School Jokes

113 grade school jokes and hilarious grade school puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about grade school that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Grade School Short Jokes

Short grade school jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The grade school humour may include short high school jokes also.

  1. When I was in high school, my dad f*cked my teacher repeatedly for better grades in my math class. Thank god im homeschooled or that could have been wierd
  2. Visiting my first grade son at school lunch today... Me: How is school going so far?
    Son: Good, I had a test.
    Me: What was your test on?
    Son: Paper.
  3. What's the difference between a pakistani grade school and an Al-Qaeda training base? How am I supposed to know, I just pilot the drone
  4. Pros of my high school years: I graduated top of my class, was voted prom king, and hooked up with the hottest girl in my grade. Cons of my high school years: my twin sister and I were homeschooled.
  5. New data has claimed that only 52% of students leave school with an acceptable grade in Maths. Safe to say I am part of the 34% that struggled with it.
  6. What does every frenchmen learn in first grade of school? (sorry France) How to surrender in 6 different languages.
  7. Last year, 7th grade students were forced to clean the entire school. This year, the principal said, "Last year, the 7th grade student did the cleaning. This year, let the 8th grade students do it."
  8. My grade school math teacher once asked us what 280 x 18 was I kept shouting "7!" but apparently we weren't on the topic of factorials yet
  9. Despite my excellence in all other school subjects, I always got bad grades in Greek history. It was my Achille's elbow
  10. I got pulled over by the police last night They asked me where I was between 6 and 11. I told them I was in grade school.

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Grade School One Liners

Which grade school one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with grade school? I can suggest the ones about middle school and kid school.

  1. What sort of grades did Tommy Wiseau receive in school? Oh, high marks.
  2. What grades did Fidel Castro get at school? Full Marx
  3. Why did the kid drown in school? He got below C level grades.
  4. What is a snowflake's school grade based on? Class precipitation.
  5. What grade did Tommy Wisaeu usually get in school? A high mark.
  6. How many grades are in dog school? Grades K-9
  7. So I took a programming elective in school My final grade was C+
  8. How many grades does Dog School have? K-9
  9. How does the russian mother punish her kid who got bad grades at school? Nietflix.
  10. What are the best grades that can be given in cheese school? Epoisses
  11. What do you call a doctor who passed medical school with the lowest grade? Doctor
  12. Why is 9th grade so lit? Because it's part of High School.
  13. Yo mamma is so fat, the only good grade she got in school was an "A" in lunch.
  14. I had such a crush on my sixth-grade teacher... I was home schooled.
  15. Your mom is so fat Her school picture from first grade is still printing

Uproarious Grade School Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time

What funny jokes about grade school you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean school age jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make grade school pranks.

Yo mamma is so fat, the only good grade she got in school was an "A" in lunch.

Yo mamma is so fat, the only good grade she got in school was an "A" in lunch.

Q: What is long and hard to a blonde?
A: Fourth grade.

Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science.


She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron.
Now it was question time, and she asked, “My name begins with the letter ‘M’ and I pick up things.
What am I?”
A little boy on the front row proudly said, “You’re a mother!”

Q: What do you call a blonde sitting in the back of your 6th grade class?
A: your 25 year old mom.

Chuck Norris's 1st Grade teacher asked him how many stars there were on the American Flag.


Chuck Norris replied "Yes." and was correct.

I got in trouble for telling a joke in 5th grade.


Now I have to keep 250 feet away from all schools...

Your mama so old she sat next to Moses in the second grade.

You seem like the kind of person who always tried to open the wrong side of the milk carton in grade school.

My mom comes into my room with my grades, and one of them have a zero, and she asks, "

Why does it say that this is incomplete?" I say, "It was optional." For me it was optional.

"I see your grades are struggling..." said my mum.
So I said, "Like that button holding your trousers together..."

Why did Michael's grades drop after the holidays? Because everything was marked down!

Why are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!

Why did the broom get a poor grade in school? Because it was always sweeping during class!

Virginity in school

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a v**...."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades and they will stop."

I knew a kid in grade school who was born with deformed eyelids...

...So they took the flesh from his circumcision to fix his deformity. For the rest of his life he was c**...-eyed.

The officer and the speeding Harley

Officer stops a Harley for speeding so he asks the biker his name. 'Fred,' he replies.
'Fred what?' the officer asks.
'Just Fred,' the man responds.
The officer is in a good mood, thinks he might just give the biker a break, and give him a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.
The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. 'Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?'
The biker replies, 'It's a long story, so stay with me.' I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades.
When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school.
Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS.
Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.
Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS.
Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD.
Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.'
The officer just walks away...

Successful entrepreneur

I met an old friend from high school the other day, and I couldn't believe how wealthy he had become. He ran a massively successful business, but could barely get a passing grade in math class when I knew him.
I asked him how he did it.
He said it was easy.
"All I did was find a product I could make for $2 and sell for $4. You'd be surprised just how much 2% adds up over the years!"

Which tire was flat?

Two students decide to go skiing for the weekend, and are having such a good time they decide to blow off the (calculus, I believe) exam that they have scheduled for Monday morning in order to get some final runs in before they head back to school. They decide to tell the prof that they got a flat tire and therefore deserve to take the exam at a rescheduled time.
Hearing the story, said professor agrees that it really was just bad luck, and of course they can take the exam later. At the appointed time, the prof greets them and places them in two separate rooms to take the exam.
The few questions on the first page are worth a minor 10% of the overall grade, and are quite easy. Each student grows progressively confident as they take the test, sure that they have gotten away with fooling the professor. However, when they turn to the second page they discover that they really haven't.
The only question on the page, worth 90% of the exam, reads: "Which tire was flat?"

Why nobody bullies a first grader mexican kid in school

his dad is in the 4th grade

Why did the r**... Father walk his kid to school?

They were in the same grade!!

In the old Russia, bevore USSR a small child comes home from the last day of school

and holding his grade sheet yells to his revolutionary father "Father! You know how you always say how bad our schooling system is? Now I have proof of it!"

Two students go skiing..

Two students decide to go skiing for the weekend, and are having such a good time they decide to blow off the (calculus, I believe) exam that they have scheduled for Monday morning in order to get some final runs in before they head back to school. They decide to tell the prof that they got a flat tire and therefore deserve to take the exam at a rescheduled time.
Hearing the story, said professor agrees that it really was just bad luck, and of course they can take the exam later. At the appointed time, the prof greets them and places them in two separate rooms to take the exam.
The few questions on the first page are worth a minor 10% of the overall grade, and are quite easy. Each student grows progressively confident as they take the test, sure that they have gotten away with fooling the professor. However, when they turn to the second page they discover that they really haven't.
The only question on the page, worth 90% of the exam, reads: "Which tire was flat?"

When I was in the first grade my teacher could remember my name

Which really hurt since I was home-schooled

49ers Fan

On the first day of school, a first grade teacher explains to her class that she's a Seahawks fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Seahawks fans. Wanting to impress their teacher, everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise, 'Janie, why didn't you raise your hand? 'Because I'm not a Seahawks fan' she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you aren't a Seahawks fan, then who are you a fan of?' 'I'm a 49ers fan, and proud of it,' Janie replied. The teacher could not believe her ears. 'Janie please tell us why you're a 49ers fan?' "Because my mom's a 49ers fan, and my dad's a 49ers fan, so I'm a 49ers fan too!" "Well" said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, 'that's no reason for you to be a 49ers fan. You don't have to be like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was an idiot and your dad was a m**..., what would you be?' Janie smiled and said 'I'd be a Seahawks fan.'

r**... Geometry

Dale was the first of his h**... family to make it past the second grade.
One day, Dale's pa asked, "What did y'all learn today in that geometry class?"
Dale replied, "Pi r squared".
"Dadgummit!", yelled Dale's pa, "I knew that there fancy school tweren't no good! Pie are ROUND! CAKE are square!"

When I was in school I wrote a paper about how letter grades should be ABCDEF instead of ABCDF.

My teacher gave me an E+ on it.

Talking about school grades with your parents like...

Parents: Got any A's this semester?
Me: Go fish.

A teenager had just passed his drivers test, and he asked his dad to buy him a car

"Dad, will you be able to get me a car?" Asked the boy
"I suppose a car would be in order *if* you can raise your grades from C's to B's, you study your Bible, and cut your hair." Replied the father.
After contemplating for many hours, the boy decided it was a good and fair compromise. Six weeks later, the father is astonished. His son was excelling in school, he studied his Bible every day, but his hair was still long and shaggy.
"I am very impressed with you" said the father "you are passing all of your classes, and you read the Bible every day. But why wont you cut your hair?"
"After reading the Bible, I have noticed something." Said the boy "Moses, Samson, and Absalom all had long hair. There is even evidence that *Jesus* may have had long hair!"
The father replied back "Did you also notice how they had to walk everywhere too?"

What's the 4th grade essay in the Detroit School District?

What I want to be *if* I grow up.

Johnny's grades

Johnny comes home with his school grades: all F's. Dad is fuming angry and says it deserves a good beating. Johnny: "Dad fully agreed, let me show you where my teacher lives."

A 13 year old boy has difficulty with mathematics, failing in public school.

His parents were not religious but after a friend's suggestion they felt a private Catholic school may be more effective. His grades began to rise dramatically after this switch. Asked what has helped him so much, he responded
"When I saw the guy nailed to the plus sign I knew they meant business!"

American kids need to get better grades in school.

Come on, guys. It's USA, not USB.

A kid is flunking a public school, so his parents move him to a private school

All the sudden inthe private school his grades skyrocket up to A's. Then one night at the dinner table his parents ask,
"Why were you doing so bad in a
public school, and when we switched you to a
private school you did good?" The kid says,
"because I knew they were serious about school.
The first day I walked in they had a guy nailed
to a plus sign."

Where do the devil's children attend grades 6-8?

Metal school

Mrs. A was my favorite teacher in grade school.

She was by far the nicest of all of the staph at school.

When I was a young boy, I was bad at Maths

I was so bad that I was expelled from my school for failing that subject so often. Because of this, my father sent me to Catholic school and after going for a year, my grades improved. The reason being, the second I walked through that door and saw the guy nailed to the fricking plus sign, I knew this school meant business.

A grade school teacher asks her students what their parents do for a living.

Billy proudly stands up and announces, "My daddy plays piano in a w**...."
The teacher is aghast and promptly changes the subject. Later that day, she calls Billy's mother and explains what Billy said.
Billy's mother says, "Actually, his father's an attorney, but how can we explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

probably the most embarrassing moment of my life was when i soiled myself at grade school in front of the entire class

i lost my teaching licence that day

I was in a first-grade class, and I saw a cute girl.

I asked the girl out, but then I got kicked out of the school.
I am never allowed to teach there again.

A father who is very much concerned about his son's bad grades in math.

A father who is very much concerned about his son's bad grades in math decides to register him at a catholic school. After his first term there, the son brings home his report card: He's getting "A"s in math. The father is, of course, pleased, but wants to know: "Why are your math grades suddenly so good?" "You know", the son explains, "when I walked into the classroom the first day, and I saw that guy on the wall nailed to a plus sign, I knew one thing: This place means business!

What does a dad say when demolishing the washroom with thier son?

That will teach you to get bad grades in school.

Finally got off the waitlist for ventriloquy school!

I thought I didn't have the grades to get in, but I managed to pull some strings

Johnny's parents buy a lie detector.

Every time the detector hears a lie, it goes "BEEP!".
Johnny comes home from school and they ask him: "What grade did you get today?"
He says: "An A!"
BEEP!
Then he says: "OK, I got a C."
BEEP!
"Fine, I got an F."
His mom says: "Shame on you! When I went to school, I had straight As!"
BEEP!
Then the dad says: "When I went to school..."
BEEP!
Surprised, Johnny asks him: "Dad, you didn't go to school?!"
Dad says: "Don't yell at me like that! I'm your father!"
BEEP!

A Sunday school teacher was teaching her first-grade class.

"Class," she said, "what were the first words Jesus said when he walked out of the tomb on Easter morning?"
A little girl waved her hand excitedly. "Ooh! Ooh! I know!" she said. "Pick me! Pick me!"
The teach smiled and said, "All right, Susie. What did Jesus say when he walked out of the tomb?"
Susie stood up proudly. "He said, 'TAH-DAH!'"

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when his 3rd grade teacher asked him to be a classical composer in the school play ?

I'll be Bach

A father is concerned with his son's bad grades in math

so he decides to enroll him in a Catholic school. After the first marking period, the son has an A in math.
The father is pleased, but he asks his son, "Why are your math grades suddenly so good?"
The son replies, "I knew they meant business when I saw the guy on the wall nailed to a plus sign!"

I was so disappointed on my second day of school...

I was still in the first grade.

Johnny goes to school on the first day of second grade

Johnny goes to school on the first day of second grade. The teacher asks each student to say their name.
Johnny replies, "my name is Johnny Fuckhour".
The teacher immediately scolds him and tells him that such language will not be tolerated.
"But that's my name," he protests. "If you don't believe me, go ask my brother in the fifth grade."
So the teacher marches him over to the fifth grade classroom and asks the fifth grade teacher, "do you have a Fuckhour in here?"
One of the students replies, "oh, no, we don't even have a nap time."

Do you know why America has such a strong military?

We start dodging bullets in grade school.

Valentines Day changes a lot the higher grade level you are

In elementary, you got to get and give candies while getting compliments from everyone.
In high school, you get shot.

Asian Family School Letter Grading Scale Explained:

A=Average
B=Below Average
C=Can't eat dinner tonight
D=Don't come home
E/F=Exit the Family/ Find a new Family

What grades would alcoholics get in school?

Forties

American School System

5th grade: You better learn cursive, because in middle school; all your work will be done in cursive!
6th grade: Just write print it's easier to read
Highschool: You better learn these core classes because they'll be required to know before college!
College: You have to retake and pay for these Core Classes for your Degree

The Muslim kid who went to a Christian school.

There was this Muslim family who went to a regular public school. Their child wasn't doing well in school. They thought he needed more attention, so they put him in a private Christian school. When he went there, his grades skyrocketed, and as soon as he got home he would run up to his room and study. When his parents asked why all of a sudden he was so interested in school he answered When I saw the man nailed onto the plus sign I knew the teachers weren't messing around!

My grade school teacher said to me "Name two pronouns".

Only half paying attention to the lecture, I replied "Who, me?"

Steve comes home early to find his best friend n**... in bed with his wife having s**....

Bob! I mean, come on man! I expected it from her, but you and I have been friends since grade school. We played football together. You were the best man at my wedd.. could you two at least stop while I'm talking?

My fifth grade teacher taught me how to smoke p**... and kiss.

Best hire I've ever made as a school principal.

So I heard this word problem from grade school.....

If you have five crystals, and billy takes four crystals, and sally gives you two crystals, how many crystals do you have?
It was then that I realized the kids were all doing crystal math.

The things kids say....

I work in a middle school and I was talking to a 6th grader today. He was bummed because he's so short:
He says: I should go back to kindergarten with kids my own size.
Me: Well maybe you should try 1st grade because you already know the alphabet, right?
He didn't skip a beat and responded: I'm so American, the only letters I know are U, S and A!
It was hilarious.!! Thank you children for making us laugh.

What if I tell you there is a way to stop all the kids in the school making fun of you because you are still a v**...?

Just start giving them bad grades.

jokes about grade school