Grad School Jokes
17 grad school jokes and hilarious grad school puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about grad school that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Grad School Short Jokes
Short grad school jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The grad school humour may include short graduate school jokes also.
- The average person has s**... 90 times a year. Man this going to be an epic new years eve!
- Post Grad Plans When my son graduated high school, he wanted to open up a dispensary, but i wanted him to become a doctor. When it came time to choose I told him: "It's my way, or the highway.
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Grad School One Liners
Which grad school one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with grad school? I can suggest the ones about grad student and graduate student.
- I graduated from a school named after a famous leader I'm a Stalin grad
- Why should I drink Mr. Pibb? He didn't even finish grad school.
- A blonde decided to go to grad school
- Grad School: Because it's better than saying "I'm still looking."
Silly Grad School Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about grad school you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean grad jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make grad school pranks.
Time traveler talks to a mathematician
The time traveler says, "Hello, in my grad school I have learned that it is impossible for any number which is a power greater than the second to be written as the sum of two like powers such as x^n + y^n = z^n for n > 2."
"Show me how you proved it," the mathematician says.
"Indeed! I studied it for my thesis."
The time traveler, then, goes on with his proof.
"Thank you, traveler, I wanted to take notes but right now I only have this book with a tiny margin."
What type of test do you take...
To see if you get into grad school, you take the GRE.
To see if you get into med school, you take the MCAT.
What test do you take to see if you can be a politician?
Lie detector.
A kid grew up with a inattentive father...
He wasn't around much and didn't really make an effort. Was emotionally distant and at times cruel. But the kid was very close with his sister, brother and mother.
Years go by, he goes to college, goes to grad school and has a great career. He becomes a renowned scientist respected by all.
All the while his father never really making an effort to connect. One day a gala is thrown in his honor and the organizer asks for a photo of his family, so he gives him one.
But the organizer asks: I see your mother and your siblings here. But where is your father?
The man replies oh well he's not really in the picture
Timbuktu
From my 80 year old Granddad:
Two finalists in a contest, One a college grad and one a high school drop out, were to write a poem in 3 minutes. The only requirement was that it ended in "Timbuktu". The college grad wrote his and told it to the judges;
Slowly across the desert sand,
Trekked a lonely caravan.
Men on camels two by two,
Destination Timbuktu.
The judges were very surprised and pleased with the poem, thinking that the drop out had no chance of beating that one.
The dropout then told his poem
Me and Tim a hunting went,
Met three girls in a tent.
Sunrise came, mornin' dew,
I bucked one and Timbuktu.
He won the contest.
Some recent grads having a beer..
Three guys, Mike, Dave, and Doug were at a table in a bar enjoying some beers and conversation. A stranger came by and asked if he could join them and was immediately welcomed. After about an hour of lively conversation the stranger said, I can tell you are all recent college grads. I bet I can guess where each of you went to school.
That would be interesting, said Doug, I'd like to see how you could do that.
Well, Mike here, he's Harvard. That's easy. He's got the Haavard accent. He also made reference to some obscure points of business law and his stylish business suit seals the deal.
And Dave has got to be MIT. The smudged glasses and black t-shirt are a clue. He also made some references that show he has a good grasp of quantum theory and computer science.
That's amazing, said Doug. What about me?
Oh. You went to West Virginia University.
How do you know? asked Doug.
I saw your class ring while you were picking your nose.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Namesake joke...
Two people were left standing at the national poetry contest, the Harvard grad and the highschool drop out.
The regulators gave the rules for the final round, "a word will be given and each contestant will be given 5 minutes to develop a poem using the word". The word was selected and the Harvard grad was drawn to go first, the word Timbuktu....
Harvard steps to the mic, clears his t**... and begins:
"Across the bleak and dreary sand
Trekked a meek and weary band
Men on camel two by two
Deatination Timbuktu"
The croud applauds the obvious skill of the Harvard man.
Then the high school drop out approaches the microphone. He snorts, gravels his t**..., and proceeds to spit onto the floor off the stage. The words that follow:
"Me and Tim and huntin went
Found three w**... in a pop up tent
They was many and we was few
So I bucked one and Tim bucked two."
The drop out won hands down.
Grad School Interview
Ted Kaczynski was the Unabomber but very few people remember that he was also a professor at Berkley with his own graduate students. Here is a list of his interview questions for the perspective candidates.
1) How are you?
2) Did you find my office OK?
3) Are you a cop? Legally, I think you have to tell me if you are, right?
4) Good. Lets say you find that someone had accidently left, what I think most people would agree is a completely reasonable manifesto in the copier, what would you do?
5) Complete the following sentence; Snitches get…..
6) Using your geometry skills, fit these components into this rectangular wooden box.
7) Take this package to the post office…..this is a timed event.