Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Gourmet Jokes and Friends
Opening a new restaurant, focusing on gourmet noodles and spaghetti. We're also going to offer free delivery.
We're calling it Send Noods
My blond wife said she was a gourmet chef, I asked her to make ceviche.
She burned it.
"Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me.
She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market," said the man.
"Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically," remarked his friend.
"I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough for me."
[Bad] Why was the gourmet upset when he saw the menu?
The prices were gastronomical...
(I'll show myself out...)
A trucker walks into a brothel.
Welcome, sir, the lady in charge says. How can I assist you?
The man puts down a large wad of cash in front of her, and says,
Get me the most slovenly and whiny girl that can't cook well either.
The woman eyes the money, and responds, But sir, you could have the best, most exotic girl and a gourmet dinner for that much.
I don't need an exotic experience, I need the one that feels like home! The man yells.
What did the Gourmet Chef say to the local teenagers trespassing on his property?
Hey! Stay out of Maillard!
Did you hear about the new gourmet cereal chef?
His name is Golden Grahamsay.
I've discovered a herb that can transform even the blandest foods into gourmet delights.
It's called marijuana.
My dad used to be a shake'n bake cook before the CIA got a hold of him.
Now he's a gourmet chef.
