Got Any Grapes Jokes
27 got any grapes jokes and hilarious got any grapes puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about got any grapes that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Got Any Grapes Short Jokes
Short got any grapes jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The got any grapes humour may include short grape jokes also.
- I just heard a dried up grape won the lottery, got a supermodel girlfriend and won a brand new car. I guess everything happens for a raisin.
- Accidently got some haemorrhoid cream on my fruit bowl and now my grapes have disappeared.
- I recently got some advice from a wine maker... ...he says that smashed grapes are a must.
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Got Any Grapes One Liners
Which got any grapes one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with got any grapes? I can suggest the ones about wine grape and got any good.
- Did you hear about the strawberry jam and grape jelly hooking up? They got marmalaid.
- What did the Duck say? Got any grapes?
Then he waddled away (waddle waddle)
.
.
. - What did the grape do when it got ran over by a car? It let out a little wine
- My friend got turned into wine recently... He was a grape friend.
- Did the grape squeal when he got stood on? No, because grapes don't talk.
Got Any Grapes Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about got any grapes you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean grape juice jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make got any grapes pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A duck walks into a bar
A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some grapes. The bartender says, "no this is a bar. We do not sell grapes."
So the next day the duck walks into the bar and asks for some grapes. By this time the bartender gets very mad and says, "if you ask me for grapes again. I'll nail you to the bench."
The following day the duck walks in and asks for some nails and the bartender says "no."
So the duck was like oh sweet.. Got any grapes?
What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing, it just let out a little whine.
Mi son then went on to say !!! I went for a job interview today and the manager said,"We're looking for someone who is responsible"
..."Well I'm your man" I replied,"In my last job, whenever anything went wrong they said I was responsible"
My 11-year-old made me laugh with these !!!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine.
I'm sorry.
Found in a Christmas c**.... Is my sense of humour rapidly deteriorating or is this as funny as I've been finding it since Christmas Day?
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The 3 Men and Fruits
3 men were captured by tribe men and were told to gather 5 fruits of the same kind and come back if they wanted to live.
The first man came back and was told to stick all 5 bananas up his a**... if he wanted to be released. If not he will be killed at the spot. He got 3 bananas up until he moaned in pain and was killed in an instant.
The second man came back with grapes and was told to do the same thing. He got 4 grapes up until he burst in laughter and was killed as well.
In heaven, the first man asked why he laughed when he was so close. The second man said when he was about to get the last one in, he saw the third man come back with pineapples...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A duck walks into a bar...
...and asked the bar tender:
Duck: Hey, got any grapes?
Bartender: No.
The duck leaves. Next day he goes back.
Duck: Hey, got any grapes?
Bartender: No.
Duck leaves. Comes back the next day.
Duck: Hey, got any grapes!?
Bartender(slightly annoyed): No.
The duck leaves. Sure enough a day later he comes back.
Duck: Hey! Got any grapes!?
Bartender(finally has had enough): No! I don't have any grapes for you. And if you keep asking me I'm going to nail your bill to my counter.
The duck leaves. Then the next day he comes on in the bar and asks.
Duck: Hey! Got any nails?
Bartender: No.
Duck: GOT ANY GRAPES!?!?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A duck walks into a bar and asks "Got any grapes?"
Bartender says "What? Grapes? No, this is a bar, not a fruit store. Get out, duck"
Next day the duck comes back, "Got any grapes?"
Bartender says "d**... duck, I told you to get out. Quit coming here asking for grapes or I'm going to nail your beak to a barstool.
Next day the duck comes back, "Can I borrow a hammer?"
Bartender is furious, "What's with you duck? Does this look like a hardware store? It's a bar! I don't have any hammers here!"
Duck grins, "Good. Got any grapes?"
A duck walks into a hardware store...
He asks the clerk, "Do you got any grapes?"
The clerk looks at the duck confused and says "Well, no this is a hardware store."
The duck shrugs it off and leaves.
The next day the duck returns to the hardware store, looks around and asks the clerk, "Do you got any grapes?"
The clerk kind of irritated asks the duck to leave, as there are obviously no grapes being sold at a hardware store. Ever.
Lo and behold the following day the duck enters the same hardware store and asks the clerk "Do you have any grapes?"
The clerk, having had enough of this tells the duck, "If you ever set foot in this hardware store asking for grapes again, I'm going to staple your beak shut!"
The duck leaves, only to come walking right back in moments later and asks, "Do you have any staples?"
The clerk looks at the staples shelf, "Hmmm, sorry we are all out"
The duck looks at the clerk, "Do you have any grapes?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Classic Dad Joke
A duck walks into a bar, and says, "Hey, do you have any grapes?"
The bartender says "No, this is a bar. We don't have grapes, get out of here!!"
The duck walks in a second day and says "Hey, do you have any grapes?"
The bartender says "No!! I told you yesterday we don't have any grapes! Get out of here!!"
The duck walks in on the third day and says "Hey, do you have any grapes?"
The bartender says "No, I told you yesterday we don't have any grapes! Get out of here. If you come in here again i'm going to nail your feet to the floor!!!"
The duck walks in the fourth day and says "Hey, got any nails?"
The bartender says "No."
"Got any grapes?"
A duck walks into a bar.
the bartender says, "what can I get you duck?"
the duck says, "you got any grapes?"
the bartender replies, "no this is a bar, we don't have any grapes."
the duck leaves and then comes back the next day.
the bartender sees the duck and he says, "allright duck, what'll you have?"
the duck says, "you got any grapes?"
The bartender says, "ok duck let's get something straight. we didn't have any grapes yesterday, we don't have any today and we're not gonna
have any grapes tomorrow. if you come in here one more time asking for grapes, I'm going to take your bill and nail it to the bar."
The duck says, "whoa, take it easy!" The duck gets up and leaves.
The next day, the 3rd day in a row, the duck walks into the bar. The bartender sees the duck, rests his hands on bar, leans forward, and says, "ok duck, what'll you have?"
The duck says, "you got any nails?"
Bartender says, "nope."
Duck says, "you got any grapes?"
A duck walks into a bar
He goes up to the bartender and asks, "Got any grapes?" The bartender replies, "No, sorry, this is a bar. We don't have any grapes." The duck turns and leaves.
The next day the duck returns to the bar and again asks the bartender, "Got any grapes?" The bartender, slightly flustered at this point, says, "No. This is a bar. We do not have grapes, we have never had grapes, and we will almost definitely never have grapes. The duck turns and leaves.
The following day, the duck once again returns to the bar and once more asks the bartender, "Got any grapes?" The bartender shouts, "No! We do not have any grapes! And the next time you ask I swear I will nail your beak to this bar!" The duck quickly waddles away in fright.
A day later, the duck cautiously approaches the bar. As the bartender glares, the duck asks, "Got any nails?" With a surprised and confused expression, the bartender replies, "No..." With a pleased expression, the duck responds, "Good. Got any grapes?"
Got any grapes?
One day a duck walks into a pharmacy. He asks the clerk, "Do you have any grapes?" The clerk then replies: "No, we don't sell grapes we are a pharmacy. You want the grocery store around the corner." So the duck says "OK" and walks out.
The next day the same duck comes back into the pharmacy and asks "Do you have any grapes?" The clerk replies "No, I said yesterday that you want the grocery store, this is a pharmacy." So the duck again says "OK" and leaves.
The next day the duck comes back in and asks "Got any grapes?"The clerk then gets very angry and says "Look, this is the third day in a row that you have come in asking for grapes. I told you we dont sell grapes! Now if you come back here again asking for grapes I will nail your feet to the floor!!" The duck then says "OK" and leaves.
The fourth day the same duck comes back in the pharmacy and the clerk notices him right away. The duck says "Got any nails?" The clerk is confused and says "No we dont sell nails, we are a pharmacy. You want the hardware store."
So the duck says, "Good. Got any grapes?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Got Any Grapes?
A duck walks into a hardware store and asks the man behind the counter:
"Got any grapes?"
The guy says "No, get it of here you crazy duck, I don't have any grapes."
The duck leaves and comes back the next day:
"Got any grapes?"
The guy says "No, I told you no grapes, we're a hardware store! Now get out of here."
The duck returns day after day.
"Got any grapes?"
"Got any grapes?"
"Got any grapes?"
The guy finally tells the duck "We don't have any grapes! If you ask for grapes again I'll nail your feet to the floor!"
The duck leaves, but returns the next day "Got any... Nails?"
"no"
"Got any grapes!?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
He just wanted some grapes!
A duck walks into a bar and asks the bar tender " Hey got any grapes?" to which he replies " No this is a bar we don't have any grapes."
So the next day the duck comes back and asks " Got any grapes?" " No! We don't serve grapes at a bar." The duck leaves.
Next day the duck comes back and asks " Got any grapes?" By now the bartender is really annoyed so he says " NO! And if you come in here one more time asking for grapes I'm going to nail your beak to the bar!"
The next day the duck walks into the bar and asks " Got any nails?" " No." " Got any grapes?"
short jokes
I have gotten some good jokes from yall... I hope yall enjoy these
Sorry no Easter jokes if you celebrate Easter or anything like that... have a good one
Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A. He wanted cold hard cash!
Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.
Q. Where do polar bears vote?
A. The North Poll
Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch dog.
Q. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
A. It let out a little wine!
Q. How do you make a tissue dance?
A. Put a little boogey in it!
Q. What did the water say to the boat?
A. Nothing, it just waved.
Q. What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
A. Dam!