Gospel Jokes
24 gospel jokes and hilarious gospel puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about gospel that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Experience the best of Nigerian gospel comedy! Whether you are looking for prayers, scripture or just a good laugh, you will find the perfect gospel joke to share with friends and family. Get ready to laugh out loud at these hilarious gospel jokes!
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Funniest Gospel Short Jokes
Short gospel jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The gospel humour may include short bible jokes also.
- If you want to read the Gospel according to Shrek, open your Bible to Psalm– –BODY ONCE TOLD ME…
- I have proof Jesus was a black man... He loved Gospel, he called everyone 'Brother', and he couldn't get a fair trial.
- A gospel choir leader with a lisp embezzled tens of thousands of dollars from his church. But eventually he got caught and had to faith the music.
- If a Christian rock band had a Gibson, they could be called "The Five Gospels, Les Paul." ^
- My pastor asked me to name the four Gospels, but I could only remember Matthew, Luke, and John. I missed the Mark.
- The Four Gospels is the most important section of the Bible... That's where Jesus left his Mark.
- Gospel Artist What do you tell an old lady who complains of secular music on the subway as she keeps on asking for Jesu's songs?
- I asked my pastor why all the bibles in his church had reprinted the second gospel in an extra-large font. God told him the easier Marks, the larger the collection plate...
- How do you make black people break out into song? Put em' to work!...
On a gospel record.
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Gospel One Liners
Which gospel one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with gospel? I can suggest the ones about salvation and new testament.
- Why don't cannibals eat Gospel singers? They keep throwing up their hands.
- Why does Kim Jong Un stick out at a black gospel church? Because he doesn't have Seoul.
- How does Smash Mouth read the gospel? He turns it to Psalm : BODY ONCE TOLD ME
- Which gospel contains Jesus' parable about the shades of numbers? Math hue.
- What does a gospel singer say to clear his/her t**...? a hymn
- My urologist was once a gospel singer... ...her name is u**... Franklin
- What game do you play with a gospel choir? Where's w**...?
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Gospel Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about gospel you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sermon jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make gospel pranks.
Went to a Black Church to listen to gospel. The preacher came over and said "YOU WILL WALK TODAY!!"
I told him I wasn't paralyzed, but he said it again with even more enthusiasm.
After the service I went to leave. My car was gone.
A priest started his Sunday sermon by saying...
... "Today's sermon is going to be about 'liars'. How many of you have read the 69th chapter of the gospel according to St Matthew? "
Nearly everyone raised their hands.
"You are exactly the people I want speak to. There is no 69th chapter of the gospel according to St Matthew."
GOD ENJOYS A GOOD LAUGH!
There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother.
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He didn't get a fair trial.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a v**... and his Mother was sure He was God.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands.
2. He had wine with His meals.
3. He used olive oil.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature.
2. He ate a lot of fish.
3. He talked about the Great Spirit.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.
But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3. And even when He was dead; He had to get up because there was still work to do.
A priest stands up to do his sermon.
He starts. He says "We all called in different ways."
As soon as he says that, the altar server drops the gospel which he was taking away from the lectern. He then shuffles to pick it up and accidentally rips it with his foot and falls over, hitting the tabanacle and spilling the bread and the wine.
The priest continues with his sermon.
He says to the congregation in a solemn tone:
"Some of us are called useless."
A priest, a philosopher and a politician are playing golf. However, the holes are being blocked by a man seemingly doing silly moves with the club and failing to reach the holes.
The three men start complaining, but the field's manager tells them that the man is blind.
The priest says:
- I'm thankful to Lord that he has given me the sight to see people's failings and tell them the Gospel!
The philosopher says:
- When you think about it, the difficulties faced by this man are unconceivable to us, and yet he is still doing anything he can to live a normal life.
The politician says:
- Can you ask him to play at night?
