Gorilla Jokes
122 gorilla jokes and hilarious gorilla puns to laugh out loud. Read animal jokes about gorilla that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for the funniest Gorilla Jokes? Look no further! We have the best selection of Gorilla Jokes from Gorilla Tag, Gorilla Glue, Gorilla Birthday, Koko the Gorilla, Silverback Gorilla, Baboon, Orang, and Chimp. Check it out now and get ready for a good laugh!
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Funniest Gorilla Short Jokes
Short gorilla jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The gorilla humour may include short grizzly jokes also.
- "How can this idiot possibly be elected as president?" Says a nation that hasn't gotten over the death of a gorilla in 6 months.
- My chemistry teacher told me I had to write a 1,000 word essay on acid. Unfortunately, my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.
- I heard the kid who fell into the gorilla pit was actually trying to get the jewelry his mother dropped. He didn't get the gold but he got the silver back.
- I don't understand why people are so upset about Harambe I mean, gorillas get shot by white cops all the time.
- For our chemistry exam we had to write a thousand words on acid. Unfortunately my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.
- 3 steps to fix anything 1. Try duct tape, if that doesn't work, see 2
2. Try gorilla glue, if that doesn't work, see 3
3. Try J.B. Weld, if that doesn't work, C4 - What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear ? Whatever you want, he can't hear you..
- Why did the gorilla become an accordion player? It had a strong grip and a great sense of rhythm.
- Did you guys hear about the lady who put Gorilla Glue in her hair? She asked for a refund, but they won't give her silverback.
- What's the difference between a small child and a gorilla? People actually care if a gorilla dies.
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Gorilla One Liners
Which gorilla one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with gorilla? I can suggest the ones about grizzly bear and giraffe.
- Are You a Gorilla Exhibit? Because I want to drop a baby in you.
- What's worse than beating a dead horse? Shooting a live gorilla
- What do you get when you mix human DNA and Gorilla DNA? Kicked out of the zoo.
- Your mama is so ugly She fell into a gorilla exhibit and got shot.
- Why do gorillas have big noses? Because they have big fingers.
- Roses are red, I'm feeling blue There's one less gorilla at the Cincinnati Zoo
- What do you call a beach where you go to shoot gorillas and break Islamic law? Haram Bay
- Why do gorillas have huge nostrils? Because they have huge fingers.
- Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet? The people in charge of that decision.
- Girl are you gorilla glue? Cause I can't get you outta my head
- Hey girl, are you a gorilla enclosure.. Because I wanna drop a baby in you
- What's black, grey, and red all over? A gorilla with a child in the enclosure.
- Hey girl Are you the new gorilla exhibit? Because I want to throw a baby in you.
- I tried using Gorilla Tape for my bikini wax. It was a total rip-off.
- A gorilla walks into a bar and says "I'd like a toddler on the rocks, please"
Gorilla Glue Jokes
Here is a list of funny gorilla glue jokes and even better gorilla glue puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- So I nutted in this girls hair a few weeks ago.... I know Im black, but she didnt need to call it gorilla glue ):
- Looking for a gift that will leave her speechless? Gorilla glue lip balm.
- What is the anarchistic mallard's favorite adhesive? Gorilla Glue.
Gorilla Suit Jokes
Here is a list of funny gorilla suit jokes and even better gorilla suit puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I had a best friend who wore a gorilla suit everywhere... he was my prime-mate.
- How many German Surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to dress up in a gorilla suit and one to fill a bath tub full of vanilla pudding.
- A woman was thinking of revealing her fursona to her islamic boyfriend but wasn't sure if it was ok with his religion, so she asked "Would you like it if I wore a gorilla suit?" "That's haram, bae."
Fell Gorilla Jokes
Here is a list of funny fell gorilla jokes and even better fell gorilla puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I fell asleep at the Cincinnati zoo and fell into the Gorilla pit... Harambe caught me slippin'
Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Gorilla Jokes and Friends
What funny jokes about gorilla you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean panda jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make gorilla pranks.
Man & wife go to the Zoo.
In front of Gorilla cage
Man says :Excite him like u do to me!
Wife removes her top,Gorilla goes crazy.
Man:Tease him more,like u tease me
wife removed her jeans and gorilla goes wilder..
man opened d cage and pushed his wife in and says: NOW EXPLAIN TO HIM THAT U HAVE A HEADACHE AND U R NOT IN THE MOOD.
What do you get when you cross an Italian with a gorilla?
A r**... gorilla.
Gorilla Encounter
Two gay guys are at the Zoo. They come across a gorilla and notice that the male gorilla has a massive e**.... The gay men are fascinated by this.
One of the men just can't bear it any longer, and he reaches into the cage to touch it. The gorilla grabs him, drags him into the cage and mates with him for two hours non-stop, while the zoo attendants helplessly stand by. When he's done, the gorilla throws the man out of the cage.
An ambulance is called and the man is taken away to the hospital.
A few days later, his friend visits him in the hospital and asks, "Are you hurt?"
"AM I HURT?" he shouts. "Wouldn't you be? He hasn't called! He hasn't written!"
What's the difference between a gorilla and your mother ?
A gorilla is ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabits the forests of central Africa, & your mother is a nice lady.
... Also I did not have s**... with a gorilla.
What do you get when you cross an (italian) with a gorilla?
A r**... gorilla.
(Can be modified to offend any nationality or group)
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
Why do gorillas have such big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers!
Not mine. Told to me by my late grandfather, funniest pastor ever. :)
A guy walks in to his backyard and sees a gorilla in his tree
He gets online and finds a man who specializes in gorilla removal. When he arrives at the house he has a stick, a set of handcuffs, a chihuahua, and a shotgun.
He tells the homeowner "I'm going to climb up in the tree and use the stick to hit the gorilla until he falls out of the tree. Upon landing, the trained chihuahua will viciously lunge for the gorillas g**... and when he attempts to protect himself we will slap on the handcuffs."
The homeowner, a little bewildered, says "that's crazy enough it just might work, but what is the shotgun for?"
"If I fall out of the tree first....shoot the chihuahua."
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
Zoo
Two policeman on patrol see a man walking with a Gorilla. Of course, they stop to inquire. They ask, "So Buddy, what's up with the Gorilla?" The man replies, "I'm taking to the Zoo." Cops say "OK" be on your way. A day later the cops see the same man and gorilla....They stop. "Sir" the officer directs. "We saw you yesterday and thought you were taking him to the Zoo?" "I did", the man replies, "But today, I'm taking him to the movies."
What do you call a North Korean Gorilla?
King Kong Un
(From my younger brother).
What do you call an albino gorilla?
h**... Kong
A zookeeper notices his prize gorilla was getting aggressive..
She wouldn't eat. She wouldn't sleep. And she constantly kept trying to attack the zookeeper. So, he did some research and found out female gorillas can become depressed and aggressive when deprived from s**....
The zookeeper then looked around for another male gorilla for her to engage in i**..., but unfortunately the zoo couldn't afford to import a male gorilla just for her to have s**....
Giving his funding situation, he goes up to the janitor and asks him "Hey, for $500, would you have s**... with this gorilla?"
The janitor thought about it for a minute, and then replied "Sure, on three conditions. First condition, I don't want to kiss her."
"Okay sure! I wouldn't expect you to!"
The janitor then stated "Second condition. I don't want anyone knowing about this ordeal."
"Sure, fine! Not a problem! What's your third condition?"
Janitor said "Give me at least 2 weeks to come up with the $500"
Monkey Business
A zookeeper notices the lonely female gorilla is feeling depressed and needs to cheer her up again. He asks the r**... janitor of the zoo if he'll have s**... with the gorilla for $500.
The r**... says that he'll do it under 2 conditions.
Ok, says the zookeeper, what are they?
I don't want anyone to ever find out.
Ok, done! What's your second condition?
The r**... says; "I'll need an extra week to come up with the five hundred dollars."
I just got a new doorbell that when the button is pressed has a gorilla singing about table tennis.
It's called The King Kong ping pong Sing Song Ding d**...
What do you call a kid who falls into a gorilla enclosure?
Zoolander
What's the difference between a dead baby and a dead gorilla?
There aren't any dead babies at the Cincinnati Zoo.
So apparently a gorilla got shot at the zoo for grabbing a kid that had wandered into its enclosure..
And social media went a**....
What does the Cincinnati gorilla story tell us?
It's the first time that black-on-black crime made national (even international) news.
So there's a child and a gorilla...
...well, there ***was*** a gorilla.
Can we PLEASE...
stop beating a dead gorilla.
What is the difference between a gorilla and Michael Jackson?
One of them got shot for touching a kid.
A boy and a gorilla walk into a bar...
The boy says "first shot's on me"
The gorilla replies "nah, I got this"
Well, look on the bright side...
At least they won't be talking about that gorilla anymore.
WALKS INTO A BAR... FRUGAL GORILLA
A gorilla walks into a bar and says, "A scotch on the rocks, please." The gorilla hands the bartender a $10 bill.
The bartender thinks to himself, "This gorilla doesn't know the prices of drinks," and gives him 15 cents change.
The bartender says, "You know, we don't get too many gorillas in here."
The gorilla replies, "Well, at $9.85 a drink, I ain't coming back, either.
Best pickup line ever
Girl are you a gorilla exhibit because I'm about to drop a baby in you?
A man wakes up from a five year coma...
Doctor: Sir you've been out for a long time and I'm afraid I have some terrible news.
Patient: Oh I don't mind as long as I get to see my favorite gorilla at the Cincinnati Zoo
A gorilla walks into a bar...
And several people get up to leave seeing the possible danger of the situation.
What do you call a fight between a human and a gorilla?
A harumble.
My gf asked me if gorilla meat was forbidden in Islam
My gf asked me if gorilla meat was forbidden in Islam.
I told her, "Yeah, it's haram, bae."
Roses are red, Violets are blue
Gorilla shot at Cincinnati zoo
I offered my Muslim girlfriend a bite of my gorilla sandwich but she shook her head and said...
"That's haram, bae."
A muslim and his wife are chatting during dinner
Wife: Did you hear about the gorilla that got shot in the zoo?
Husband: Wait what are you eating?
Wife: Pork
Husband: Thats haram bae.
Wife: Oh so you did hear about it
What do you call an army of gorilla soldiers?
Boko Harambe.
My girlfriend might be a gorilla...
Everyone is always taking their d**... out for her.
Harambe memes have lost their popularity since the election...
People's attention moved away from the death of a gorilla to the election of an orangutan!
2016 started with the death of a gorilla
...and is ending with the death of a Guerilla
What do you get when you convince a gorilla to have s**... with a pig?
Fired from the zoo, apparently.
My girlfriend wanted me to treat her like a princess.
So I gave her to a gorilla for him to throw barrels at me.
A priest....
A priest, an Irishman, a horse, a gorilla, a twelve inch pianist and an infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The bartender says "Is this some kind of a joke?"
Who Told The Gorilla That He Couldn't Go To The Ballet?
The Zoo worker at Cincinnati Zoo.
Guy walks into a bar, sits, and orders a beer from the bartender
As he is sipping his beverage, he looks down and sees a gorilla sitting at the other end.
He asks the bartender, *"What's with the gorilla?"*
The bartender says, *"Oh, that's Mable. She does a trick. Want to see it?"*
*"Sure"*
So the bartender whistles and Mable comes lumbering down the length of the bar.
The bartender pulls out a heavy steel pipe and hits the gorilla in the side of its head. The gorilla drops to its knees and starts giving the bartender a b**....
*"Wow!"*, says the guy.
The bartender says, *"Pretty amazing, huh? You want to try?"*
The guys says, *"Yeah, sure! Just don't hit me so hard."*
Guy walks into a bar and there's a gorilla sitting in the corner.
Guy says to the bartender, "What's with the gorilla?"
Bartender says, "I'll show ya." .
The bartender walks over with a baseball bat and smashes the gorilla right in the nose. The gorilla gets on his knees and gives the bartender a b**....
Bartender says, "What do ya think?"
Guy says, "That's great."
Bartender asks, "You wanna try?"
Guy says, "Sure, but don't hit me so hard."
Are Gorillas s**...?
Of course, who else would complain about a 19$ drink but keep coming back to the same bar
A gorilla walks into a bar.
He's not the smartest gorilla, but ignorance is bliss at the zoo.
It's foolish for humans to try and take back the planet of the apes
Since they are incredibly good at gorilla warfare.
A gorilla dies of old age at the zoo.
His name wasn't Harambe.
The Cincinnati zoo is putting in a new shooting range for it's employees.
Ooh, sorry I misread that. They are just getting a new gorilla.
What did the muslim guy say to his girlfriend when she was about to eat gorilla meat?
"That's haram, bae."
My chemistry teacher told me to write 1000 words on acid
I tried, but my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.
Gorilla
A young girl hit puberty and her body started to change. One day she noticed she was getting hair down there. She went to her mom confused and the mom explained that's your gorilla and it's getting hair. Very excited the young girl went to her older sister and exclaimed my gorilla is getting hair! . The older sister looked at her and said that's nothing, my gorilla is already eating bananas.
A Muslim Couple decided to spend their day at the zoo.
They stopped at the Gorilla enclosure.
The Girlfriend then said, "The baby gorilla is soooo cute, I want to kiss it"
The Boyfriend then said. "No! That is Haram bae!!"
Gorillas see us how we see aliens, skinnier, smarter, less hair
Or you might call them Asians
A man walks into a bar...
As he steps in the tender noticed a big gorilla on his shoulder. Clearly taken aback he asks, Whoa man! Where'd you get that thing? To which the ape says, oh I just brought him in from outside for a drink.
What does a gorilla brush his teeth with?
A toothbrush.
Hey girl, are you a gorilla exhibit?
Cuz I wanna drop a kid into you.
How do you make gorilla stew?
You keep it waiting
A Gorilla walks into a pub
And asks the barman for a pint of bitter. The barman pulls him a pint, and says, "That'll be £6.50 please".
The gorilla takes a sip of his pint, and the barman says to him "You know, we don't get that many gorillas in here..."
The gorilla gulps down his beer, and informs the batman, "Well I'm not surprised at those prices..."
Don't let the Australians' defeat in the Emu War distract you from the fact that...
the Americans lost to Gorilla Warfare.
What are the chances that a gorilla would jump on a lion?
Anyways I lost my job at the zoo today.
A Rabbi, a Priest, and a Gorilla walk into a bar
The Gorilla looks around and says
"I must be in the wrong joke"
A man walks into a bar
A man walks in a bar and orders a beer. After taking a few sips, he notices a gorilla in the corner. He asks hey what's with the gorilla?
The bartender says watch this. He walks up to the gorilla and smacks him in the head and the gorilla immediately drops down and gives him a b**....
The man shocked says, wow that's incredible!.
The bartender asks him if he'd like to try.
The man replies, yeah sure just dont hit me so hard!
Did ya hear about Donkey Kong's Asian cousin, Viet Kong?
He specializes in Gorilla warfare
A gorilla walks into a bar
He orders a beer. The bartender figures "what does a gorilla know?", charges the gorilla $50 for the beer. Gorilla pays him.
It's early, the bar is quiet, so the bartender isn't busy. He is curious, so he says to the gorilla "You know, we don't get many gorillas in here."
"At these prices, it's no wonder."
A man is home and sees a gorilla hanging on his backyard tree.
So he naturally picks up the yellow pages and calls the Gorilla Removal services. The professional arrives in less than ten minutes, and gets off his van with a pole, a ladder, a dog, a shotgun and handcuffs. He says "I see it's a male gorilla, so I'm taking the ladder up the tree and poke him with this pole. He's gonna fall, and my dog is trained to bite the crouch, so when the gorilla protects his groins, I handcuff him and bring him back to the wild. Hold this gun, please". The man asks "what do I do with it?", and the guy "If I fall from the tree, shoot the dog".