Google Jokes
170 google jokes and hilarious google puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about google that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
If you're looking for a good laugh, check out these Google jokes. From funny search results to surprising April Fools' Day pranks, these jokes will have you chuckling in no time.
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Funniest Google Short Jokes
Short google jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The google humour may include short search engine jokes also.
- I'm glad the cave rescue is complete.... Now when I google thai boys I can get back to normal results
- is google male or female? female: because it refuses to let me finish a sentence before making suggestions
- Is Google a woman? I can't even finish a sentence without it coming up with other suggestions.
- Just got an email from Google detailing how they have devised a way to read maps backwards... Turns out to be spam
- I just explained Google images to my mum... "Pick anything to search for" I told her.
"What about a nice cream pie?" She asked.
"Except that." I replied. - I received an email from Google It said, "At Google Earth we can read maps backwards " I thought, "That's just spam."
- What's the biggest difference between Google and Pornhub? I'm willing to go to the 2nd page of search results on Pornhub.
- Is Google a boy or girl? Girl because it won't let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas
- I think Google's a woman... Because it won't let you finish a sentence without coming up with other suggestions.
- Google is useless... I tried looking up lighters and all they had was 48,200,000 matches.
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Google One Liners
Which google one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with google? I can suggest the ones about yahoo and website.
- I searched google for "how to start a large fire" 52,000 matches
- I googled "Rorschach Test" But all that came up were pictures of my parents fighting
- LPT: When Googling Gary Oldman always make sure to include the 'R'
- If you Google "lost mediaeval servant boy" You get "This page cannot be found".
- What do you call doctors who graduated online? Google Docs
- I Googled "Missing Medieval Servant" It came back: "Page Not Found"
- What's the most searched word on Bing? Google
- I asked my buddy what it's like working at Google. Says he can't complain.
- Asked Google how to start a campfire without any tools It gave me 20 million matches.
- I want my password to be beef stew but google says it's not stroganoff.
- I googled cigarette lighters And got 1,500,000 matches.
- I asked my friend who works in google how it is out there ? He said " can't complain "
- What's the safest place to hide a dead body? Page 2 of Google search.
- My handwriting is so bad That google uses it for captcha.
- Googled 'how to light a cigar'... and got 70 million matches.
Google Search Jokes
Here is a list of funny google search jokes and even better google search puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Thanksgiving is probably the only day that there are more searches for "stuffing" on Google than on PornHub.
- Have you noticed that if you google the phrase "lost medieval servant boy" The search returns "Page not found".
- What is the most commonly searched term on Internet Explorer? Google Chrome.
- I searched in Google "How do I know if my wife is a witch". You could've just asked me! - she yelled from the kitchen.
- The r in Gary Oldman … Is the most critical letter in the history of Google searches.
- I searched Google for a lighter . . . But all I found was 96k matches .
- I made a terrible mistake when I searched for Gary Oldman on Google. I forgot the R
- Where does Google like to drink at? The search bar.
- I was trying to google "How do I know if I had Alzheimer's?" Apparently, someone has already searched that. Weird...
- How does Google celebrate its birthday? With a search party.
Google Chrome Jokes
Here is a list of funny google chrome jokes and even better google chrome puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear that Google has tied every single one of their programs to their browser? I guess you could say that *all codes lead to Chrome*.
- I get really angry when Google Chrome crashes. It gets me totally on Edge.
- really old joke based off a video game from the 90's What are the three certainties in life? ( Thank you for spellcheck on google chrome ) 1. death 2. taxes. 3. you'll hear this joke sooner or later
- Why is Google Chrome like a submarine? They tend to get a little slow if you open too many windows.
- I exclusively use internet explorer to download Google chrome.
- Google fired an employee who claimed their technology was sentient. Which is sad, because he was Chrome's only friend.
- I just opened up Microsoft Edge... Now I can download Google Chrome in style.
- Why don't we let Google Chrome drive? Because it crashes all the time.
*Disclaimer - shameless chrome user* - why is it called the Google Chrome Helper? because it helps itself to all of your RAM
- This joke is brought to you by AdBlock Plus for Google Chrome. Blocking every ad on the internet, except this one.
Google Maps Jokes
Here is a list of funny google maps jokes and even better google maps puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Got an email from Google Earth proudly stating that they can read maps backwards. I thought to myself, "That's just spam."
- How do you make apple jelly? google map.
- Just got fired from my job at Google Maps. Apparently I was terrible at drawing the boundaries between countries. They said I was borderline incompetent.
- I got an advertising email saying 'Google knows maps backwards.' I thought, that's just spam.
- I took the road less travelled by But so did everyone else because they saw it on Google Maps and now we're all stuck in traffic. -Robert frost
- Just got an email from Google explaining how to read maps backward... Turned out to be spam
- she told me her body is curvy when she goes swiming she looks like an island on google maps
- What engine does the Google maps car have? A search engine!
- Why can't Google maps hold down a solid relationship Because it's always looking for the quickest possible route
- If there was no Google Maps ... ... I wouldn't be here today!
Google Map Jokes
Here is a list of funny google map jokes and even better google map puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I can't wait until a google maps controversy. We can call it Navi-Gate
- I always use Google Maps when visiting China Town... It takes me a while to get Oriented.
- It snowed 2" in Atlanta today... Go to Google Maps. Go to Atlanta. Click on the Traffic overlay.
- You know you're an engineer when... you get on google maps and try to use middle mouse button to pan
- I opened Google Maps the other day. At the top of the screen it said "Find the best route". I clicked it and it took me straight to your mum's house.
- The Shadow of Death As I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I remind myself that you can't always trust Google Maps.
- So yeah, just found out Google Maps has an option to book hotels now It's called Google Naps
- How do you make the Google Maps car go forward? Put it in Drive.
- What happens to any high school on google maps? It becomes a shopping mall.
- What do you call the version of google maps without pac man? Pac Man-free Ver.
Google Translate Jokes
Here is a list of funny google translate jokes and even better google translate puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why was google translate banned in North-Korea? The speech option was free
- I want to see if this American joke translates Tl;dr: I was going to post a joke in German courtesy of Google Translate but it ran afoul of Rule 6.
- Si puedes leer esto... ¡Enhorabuena, puedes usar Google Translate!
- How does Google translate "ten dead American cops" into any other language? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
- Did you guys hear about the group of people working at google who ended up not only getting a s**... change but came into work tardy? They were _google translate_
*dabs*
Gather Around for Fun Google Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about google you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean internet jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make google pranks.
Google just bought Fitbit
Now they can track your steps online as well as offline
My New Girlfriend
Facebook asks what I'm thinking.
Twitter asks what I'm doing.
Google asks where I am.
The internet has turned into my girlfriend.
Where is the best place to hide a dead body?
On the second page of a Google result.
Is Google a Boy or a Girl?
A girl, because it tries to complete your sentences for you, and it *never ever* forgets what you said.
Why doesn't Bono like Google?
He still hasn't found what he's looking for.
If you're going to do something i**... don't plan it through Facebook
Do it somewhere private where no one will see you, like google+.
In light of Google becoming Alphabet, Gmail will be replaced with "Alpha Mail."
Bono switched from Google to Bing
But he still hasn't found what he's looking for
Apple and Google are both working on self driving cars.
Personally I don't think I want to ride in a car without Windows.
A panda bear walks into a resturant..
And orders some food, after his meal the server comes out and asks how everything was and the panda bear pulls a gun a shoots him. The manager comes out and says "hey man what's going on?" The panda bear replies "I'm a panda bear Google it.." and leaves. The manager curiously Googled panda bear and was reading "panda bear: black and white bear, eats chutes and leaves."
Is Google male or female?
Female, because it knows everything, and secretly tracks your activity.
Google+ is like the gym of social networking.
We all join it, but nobody uses it.
How many Google plus users does it take to change a lightbulb ?
All of them actually . Two to hold the ladder and one to change the lightbulb .
I think my neighbor is stalking me through her computer, because I've seen her google my name.
I'm certain I saw it on my telescope last night.
Is Google a he or a she...
Is Google a he or a she?
A: A she, no doubt, because it won't let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas.
How do you dispose of a human body
Wait this isn't Google
Googled 'how to start a fire'
got 10000 matches
A panda walks into a bar...
And eats some beer nuts, he then pulls out a gun fires it in the air heads for the door. "Hey!" shouts the bartender and the panda yells back "I'm a panda google me" and sure enough 'panda: a tree climbing mammal with distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.'
'Knock knock'
'Who's there'
'Okay Google'
'Okay Google, who?'
'Sorry I didn't catch that'
'OKAY GOOGLE WHO?'
'The World Health Organization is a specialized agency of the United Nations that is concerned with international public health. It was established on 7 April 1948, headquartered in Geneva, Switzerland. '
I spent my Google Rewards on a video of Caitlyn Jenner
It was definitely worth the transaction
What happens if you google "Lost Medieval Servant Boy"?
It says "This paige cannot be found".
I googled 'my life'
no results found
Have you noticed if you Google the term "lost medieval servant boy"
It says "page not found"
Is Google a boy or a girl ?
Google is a Girl because it won't let you complete
the whole sentence and starts guessing, suggesting and
you ask only one question,
but get hundreds of irrelevant answers in seconds...
Is Google male or female?
Female, because it can't let you finish a sentence without providing several suggestions.
What gender is Google?
Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
What did Google say to the politically incorrect employee?
I can help you search for a new job.
A baby helped me out the other day...
I asked him, "How do I find other songs by the singer of 'Bad Romance'?"
He replied: "Google Gaga"
I once Googled, "How to commit m**... and get away with it"...
The first result was, "Don't Google how to commit m**... and get away with it."
I was so desperate to fix a problem...
That I looked on the second page of Google to find the answer.
I googled how to start a wildfire .
I got 45,500 matches.
So much for privacy...
Google: We really value your privacy
Twitter: We'd never collect anything
Apple: We securely encrypt everything on-device
Facebook: Literally gives you an ad for something you dreamt about
So, I googled the Rorschach test the other day..
All I could find were pictures of my parents fighting..
I tried searching Google for cigarette lighters
And all I got was 15,000 matches.
Have you noticed that if you google the phrase "lost medieval servant boy"
It comes back with "this page cannot be found"
Who cares if Apple is worth 10^12
I heard Google is worth 10^100
I applied for a job at Google and when I got the job,
I said Yahoo and I was immediately fired
Yo mamma's so fat...
She had to get her drivers license photo from Google earth!
I call my wife Google
I call my wife Google. Not because the knows everything, but because she discontinues services i quite like.
Google said I couldn't use "beef stew" as my password.
It's not stroganoff.
I had to turn to Google for help with a crossword puzzle.
I had to turn to Google for help with a crossword puzzle. The clue was "Dishonestly gaining a advantage," eight letters.
I immediately felt bad for looking it up, that was cheating.
My daughter informed me that the earth is tilted at a 23.5 degree angle
I responded, That's not right.
With a scowl, she pulled up google and proved to me that the earth is, in fact, tilted at a 23.5 degree angle.
Precisely, I agreed. If the angle were right it would be 90°.
A dwarf walks into a bar, he's very, very thirsty.
The dwarf approaches the counter. It's very high up, so he can't see the other side.
He tries anyway and says: "Can I have a Coke please?"
(no answer)
He tries to jump as high as he can, saying "Can I have a Coke please?"
(no answer)
He jumps up and down, saying every time he gets to the top, "Can I have a Coke please?"
(still no answer)
He's fed up, so he goes around the counter, and on the other side...
...he sees another dwarf, jumping up and down saying, "Is Pepsi OK?"
PS: Google tells me that "dwarf" and "little person" are equally non-offensive. Feel free to educate me if it's the wrong term.
Google really does spy on us
This is why I don't trust smartphones. My friend and I were talking about repairing his roof over the next week, because the recent storm took off a few portions. The next day I saw advertisements all over Facebook telling me there are hot shingles in my area looking to get nailed.
During quarantine, Google saw a shift in the top 5 Google searches.
The no. 1 position went from how to get laid to how to get laid off.
Is google a man or a woman?
Woman because she doesn't let you finish your sentence without making a suggestion.
Stephen Hawking d**... joke
Why did Steven hawking never get a b**...?
Cause google blocked his pop up !
Today I Google cigarette lighters
I was shocked when I got over 15 million matches.
My wife is like "google"
When i try to say something she says many things before i finish mine.
I googled the "Pittsburg Steelers" today and it took me to allrecipes.com...
How to make a half dozen turnovers.