The Best 45 Goods Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Goods jokes. There are some goods groceries jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these goods two good old boys puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Goods Jokes and Puns

'What Will Communism Be Like?'- A Russian Joke

One day, as a young man, Ivan asked a member of the Party, "What will it be like once we have built communism?". The Party man replied, "The shops will be full of goods, and we will have no money". Four decades passed, and the Soviet Union fell. After the fall of the USSR, Ivan found himself walking the streets of Moscow. He looked at the shops, and he felt in his pockets, and smiled. "Comrades", he said, "We have built communism at last!"

Im on the verge of starting my passion, a childrens sporting goods store

Little Dicks

e.e. cummings went into a store to buy 17 pounds worth of goods.

He forgot his wallet, but he took his pen and wrote four words down on an accounting ledger. i'm not gonna tell you what the words were, but they paid the bill and he got two vowels and a capital back.

Goods joke, e.e. cummings went into a store to buy 17 pounds worth of goods.

With the situation in Ukraine...

Putin is giving a speech to his people
- My people, due Wests sanctions we'll need to tighten our belts and work harder!
Voice from the crowd:
- We will work two shifts!
- Thank you, you must be real patriot of our country! And we'll have to give up western goods and production!
- We will work three shifts!
- Such patriotism for country! By the way what's your occupation?
- I work at morgue...

What do you call the facility where they make lower quality, but still acceptable, goods?

The satisfactory.


A woman went to a sporting goods store to buy a rifle.

Women: "It`s for my husband.
Shopkeeper: "Did he tell you what type should buy?"
Women: "Are you kidding? ,"He doesn`t even know that I`m going to shoot him today!"

There was a fire at the supermarket I work at today.

We now offer a large selection of smoked goods.

Goods joke, There was a fire at the supermarket I work at today.

How do lumber theives offload their stolen goods?

They fence it.

A North Korean man frequently sneaks to the South Korean capital to gamble for bakery goods for his family.

He is the seoul breadwinner

What does the head of the Catholic Church used to buy goods online?

Papal

A friend and I saw a man killed at the canned goods factory...

It was a jarring experience.

You can explore goods unload reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean goods overseas dad jokes. There are also goods puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What do you call a factory that produces quality goods?

A satisfactory

Despite the rumors, I actually don't have a problem with the new $20....

This country has a long history of trading black people for other goods.

Three old women are sitting on a park bench

when a guy in a trench-coat walks up close to them and flashes his goods in their faces.
While the first two women had a stroke,
third one couldn't reach it.

A man is in bed with his Thai girlfriend. [NSFW]

After having great sex, she spends the next hour just stroking his goods, something she had lovingly done on many occasions. Rather enjoying it, he turns and asks her, 'Why do you love doing that?' She replies: 'Because I really miss mine'

Father and son during checkout at Dick's Sporting Goods...

Dad: Hang on a second, I need to use these coupons.

Son: Are these coupons only for Dick's?

Dad: No, they work for normal people too.

Cashier -- laughing too hysterically to continue for a bit...

(True Story)

Goods joke, Father and son during checkout at Dick's Sporting Goods...

An American and a Mexican are sitting at the beach when a genie offers both of them one wish.

The American says:

"I'd like a 5-mile-high wall around the US so that no foreigners or illegal Chinese goods can enter without our government's permission." And voilรก the wall is built.

The genie then asks the Mexican what he wants:

"Fill it with lava."

Cat's Bellies are like strippers.

They let you see the goods but they won't let you touch them.

Two Nuns sitting on a park bench

A flasher comes by and displays his goods .. one Nun had a stroke and the other one couldn't reach.


What's a stoners favorite dessert?

Baked goods

What do you call an insect that brings goods into the country?

An important!

What do a pizza delivery driver and a gynecologist have in common?

They both get close enough to smell the goods but if they eat it they'll be in trouble.

'Will you kids stop making that awful racket!'

Said the quality control officer at the sporting goods factory.

Dicks Sporting Goods stores have all have a summer sports section in their parking lot that is packed up in the winter months, making the stores a bit smaller.

Meaning Dicks shrink when it's cold.

Scott Baio is Boycotting Dick's Sporting Goods Because of the Ban on AR-15s

Dick's had to find a cashier to replace him on short notice

Why can a girl not get laid in the computer science field?

the odds might be good. but the goods are odd

A kleptomaniac never appreciated how he could exchange stolen goods for rocks.

He took things for granite.

The International League of Bakers is inviting countries which mainly export baked goods to join.

They're accepting dough nations.

A midget walks into a sporting goods store.

He then walks to the cashier and says "hey I am a little short any chance you could float me"

A French internet cafe had to cancel a CS:GO tournament it was supposed to host, after someone stole all the baked goods.

The gamers could not tolerate that much baguette loss.

Today I came out to find my bicycle was gone

I called the police and within a matter of hours they had tracked down the thief, He was arrested for peddling stolen goods.

What do you call a truck that hauls Kosher goods?

A Semite truck.

Art thief.

Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, breaking in, evading security, getting out and escaping with the goods, he was captured only two blocks away when his Econoline van ran out of gas.
When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied:

"I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

Dick's Sporting Goods came out against circumcision this past weekend

Changing their official slogan to Dicks Sporting Hoods.

Edit* grammar

Police are reporting that they have just located a truck of stollen goods

Though they are not hopeful that anyone will come forward to claim the German fruitcake.

Dating on tinder.

the odds are good but the goods are odd

I recently started working for a charity that convinces local supermarkets to give us their expiring baked goods to donate to refugees and the local homeless. We're working in conjunction with local churches to help distribute donations. All of us are there voluntarily, after all..

It's a naan-prophet organization.

Robin Hood hands over stolen goods to the poor man

Man: Wow thank you robin hood, now i'm rich!

Robin: *squints* you're what?

What are the most popular goods in the underworld?

Under wares

What might an ignoramus give as an accurate response to not encountering a sealed glassware container they had purchased from a consumable goods proprietor and believing to have deposited it in a specific location only to be greeted by the dismay that is in fact not within the immediate vicinity?

Jar gone

I visited a strange, small shop on my trip to Egypt...

They had some really weird goods for sale. Honestly, the whole thing was just a little bazaar.

Trading humans like mere goods is highly illegal and immoral.

Unless you are a football team manager.

If they sell staples at Staples, burgers at Burger King, and candy at Candy Clubhouse... What do they sell at Dick's Sporting Goods?

Sporting goods. I mean, it's in the name!

If canned goods were to expire, would that make them canned bads?

Alright alright I'll show myself out.

Street gangs of southern LA have started decapitating each other and using the body parts to trade for goods...

The most valuable of which is the Crip toe currency.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the goods good news bad news jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working goods good samaritan piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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