Goodlooking Jokes
25 goodlooking jokes and hilarious goodlooking puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about goodlooking that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Goodlooking Short Jokes
Short goodlooking jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The goodlooking humour may include short magician jokes also.
- My seatmate on a flight was a woman. Ever the charmer, I asked, Does the airline charge you extra for sitting next to good-looking men?
Yes, she said, but I wasn't willing to pay. - Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends. - People don't find me very good-looking until I tell them I used to be 200 pounds heavier. It's not true, but it sure changes their minds.
- Why can't most women find a man that's compassionate, funny, caring, kind, loving and good-looking? Because most of those men already have boyfriends.
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Goodlooking One Liners
Which goodlooking one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with goodlooking? I can suggest the ones about handsome and scare.
- What do you call a good-looking mug? Mugnificent.
- I am not good-looking coz i cannot make-up my mind!!
- Neymar is the Justin Bieber of Football Talented, good-looking and an absolute diva
- What do you call a good-looking carpet? Rugged.
Hilarious Goodlooking Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about goodlooking you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tall jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make goodlooking pranks.
The nurse told the parents of a newly born child, "You have a cute baby."
The smiling husband said, "I bet you say that to all new parents."
"No," she replied, "just to those whose babies really are good-looking."
The husband again asked "So what do you say to the others?"
The nurse replied, "The baby looks just like you."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do really ugly people and really good-looking people have in common?
No one of the opposite s**... has the guts to talk to them...
I'm so lonely
Mary and Sue are discussing good-looking boys in their high school.
Mary asks "Have you seen that new Mexican kid Amal Garcia?"
"Garcia?" Sue responds. "No, but I think I've seen his brother Juan"
Mary replies "They're identical twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal!"
A good-looking woman
A good-looking woman, maybe in her 60s, waked into a bar and sat at the counter next to a dapper gentleman, also in his 60s.
"You remind me of my third husband," she softly remarked.
Startled, he asked, "How many husbands have you had?"
"Two," she said, as a smile crossed her face.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The best compliment.
Once at a party, the hostess paid me a nice compliment. You are a good-looking guy, she said. Honest! I've had only one shot of v**.... she said, looking at my bemused expression.
My glow was only slightly dimmed when my wife interjected, Imagine how great he'll look after two.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
ypical macho man married typical good-looking lady
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be s**... here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be s**... here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding,
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be s**... here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Typical macho man...
...married a typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "Nope, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be s**... here at seven o'clock every night...... whether you're here or not."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
man and woman relationship
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be s**... here at seven o'clock every night.. whether you're here or not."
A rancher dies and leaves everything to his wife
She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.
Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.
He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.
For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.
One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.
Two o'clock and no hired hand.
Finally he returned a round two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.
She quietly called him over to her..
"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.
Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots."
He did as she asked, ever so slowly.. "Now take off my socks."
He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.
"Now take off my skirt."
He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light. "Now take off my bra.." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.
Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Magician!
A 18-year-old girl finally had the opportunity to go to a party by herself. Since she was very good-looking, she was a bit nervous about what to do if boys hit on her.
Her mom said, "It's very easy! Whenever a boy starts hitting on you, you ask him, 'What will be the name of our baby?' That'll scare them off."
So off she went. After a little while at the party, a boy started dancing with her, and little by little he started kissing her and touching her.
She asked him, "What will our baby be called?"
The boy found some excuse and disappeared. Some time later, the same thing happened again; a boy started to kiss her neck, her shoulders... She stopped him and asked about the baby's name, and he ran off.
Later on, another boy invited her for a walk. After a few minutes, he started kissing her, and she asked him, "What will our baby be called?"
He continued, now slowly taking her clothes off.
"What will our baby be called?" she asked once more.
He began to have s**... with her. "What will our baby be called?!" she asked again.
After he was done, he took off his "full" c**..., gave it a knot, and said, "If he gets out of this one... David Blaine!
It was my first time riding a plane...
I was so nervous, and it was showing I was very uncomfortable...
A good-looking stewardess, approached me and asked if I was feeling okay, and If I needed anything. I said no, I was fine, it was my first time riding a plane and was just nervous. She smiled and said, "Ah perhaps you should listen to some music", then she walked away.
So I took out my phone, and played A7x in full blast, which disturbed everyone around me, as I did not have any earphones. Again the flight attendant approached me and asked,
"Would you like some headphones?"
I looked up to her at amazement and shock and said,
"yes, but how did you know my name was Phones?"
(end)
ba-dum-tiss
I'll see myself out
