Good Taste Jokes

People who make you feel special are keepers. Anyone with such good taste has to be admired.

I noticed my workplace got new stools

Tasted pretty good.

Is that dog p**...?

A guy is walking down the street and sees a brown lump ahead. "Is that dog p**...?" He thinks to himself.
He approaches it to examine if it is dog p**.... "Well it looks like dog p**...." He bends down and sniffs it. "Smells like dog p**...." He grazes the substance with his finger. "Feels like dog p**...." His finger scoops up a part of the p**..., and he licks it. "Tastes like dog p**....... Yep, this is dog p**... alright."
"Well, good thing I didn't step in it."

If I was a stripper my name would be cinnamon wanna know why?

Because I taste good but no one can handle a mouth full of me.

Two cannibals are eating a guy...

They decide to split him up into halves. One cannibal takes the top and the other takes the bottom. The cannibal on the bottom asks the one eating the top half how it tastes.
"Good, can't complain." he replies
The cannibal on top asks the cannibal eating the lower half how it's going.
"Great! I'm having a ball!"

Classic dad joke, but in bad taste

So we were having a family dinner for the first time in a while.
My mum was saying how terrible the situation in Nepal is, when my Dad says "it's nepalling isn't it?"
I had a good laugh, feeling guilty after :(

Ellen Pao has a good taste for revenge.

Lawyers made her look bad, now she makes lawyers look bad.
I'll be enjoying my shadow ban, thank you.

A lady at a tea shop

A lady went to a tea shop and ordered a cup of tea, she has a sip, and realizes that it was amazing! She asks the owner of the place, "wow! Your tea tastes great! Why is it so good?"
The owner replies "thanks! It's my specialtea!"

Cold turkey tastes so good.

Why would anyone want to quit it?

Daddy, did you ever eat cat food when you were little?

"Yeah, but it didn't taste very good." She smiled and nodded, "I know, it taste like dog food."
*A recent conversation I had with my daughter*

I threw some pills at my doctor

I thought it would be a good idea to give him a taste of his own medicine

What does a gynocologist and a pizza man have in common?

Thay can smell the goods, but they can't taste them.

A man and his wife went out to eat. Their meal was so good the husband said it tasted like heaven.

He choked to death.

Blondes and Cornflakes?

Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes?
A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.

Hey Dad, can i use your card for food?

You can, but I don't think it will taste very good.
I love my dad.

I was given a recipe book for roadkill recently

I collected some roadkill and followed the recipe. It tasted good but I have no idea what to do with his bike.

Thanksgiving is a time of grateful reflection

Genocide never tasted so good

One man he is rapper

He go to rap battle
He say to he enemy: i will make sick rap now
So what he do: he pull out chicken and salad and he put all in burrito bread and he roll and he say: here this wrap it is very tasty: eat it!!
He enemy: oh yes, this taste really good, it is a sick wrap!
so both go home and are not hungry^^^^^^^^^^freelx

What did the cannibal say to the fashion model?

"You have good taste."

My friend made cookies decorated to look like Wookies

The one I ate tasted good, but it was a little Chewy

That moth in my closet...

he has good taste.

I was outside in my garden when a guy walked to me and started insulting me, so I roasted him in front of everyone.

He tasted really good with fries.

You know what makes eggs so good...?

There eggcellent taste

(Growner) I had dogs and cats growing up...

They tasted good.

Imagine what a fig-flavored mint would taste like.

Got it? Good.
That's a fig-mint of your imagination.

I like girls like I like my coffee..

Well I've never actually had coffee but I head it tastes good.

What did the chef say when asked if he thought he could make the stack of paper taste good?

Reams seasonable.

Tell me about yourself

1: Well uhh.. I like dogs
2: Oh, what's your favourite breed?
1: Any breed is good, they all taste the same anyway

Raw eggs are good for a fitness diet.

If you don't like the taste, just add sugar, flour, cocoa and baking powder and bake for 30 minutes.

I bought some Skullcandy headphones.

They taste awful, but it's good brain food.

I like peppermint tea...

Because not only does it taste good, but it also describes exactly what it is going to taste like! Pepperminty!

A man goes to a bar

He sits down at the bar and hears a voice "that's a nice shirt man, lookin good!"
He thinks "That's odd," and orders a drink. "Man that's a good drink order, you have good taste!"
Again, the man is confused. He says to the bartender "what's that voice I keep hearing?"
Bartender says "it's the peanuts, they're complimentary."

What do you say when you're at the bar and your drink tastes weird and the old man starts smiling?

Mr Cosby, I don't feel so good

A man marries a women who is a very good cook..

Every time she makes something he says,
"This doesnt taste like how my mom used to make it."
Final after a year of this at every meal she angrily asks, " How did your moms taste??!!"
"Awful" He replies.

Two guys walk into a bar, and one of them orders a mushroom soup.

The other guy asks him how the mushroom soup tastes, to which he responds "It's good, but there is mushroom for improvement"

Anyone here eat a b**... before?

I hear they taste pretty dam good.

I used to work in a prune juice factory.

I was a taste tester. It was a good job, but I'd work 1 day and have to stay home 2.

A long-neck giraffe is eating with a rabbit in the forest

... and then the giraffe brags, "Bet you are really envious of my long neck. When I'm eating, delicious food usually lingers in my t**... and oh my, the taste, the scent, that feels really good!"
The rabbit swallows a mouthful real fast and then asks,
"Have you ever puked?"

I came up with some new eye makeup that tastes good too...

it's called Chicken Tikka Mascara

I had my first taste of sobriety this week

It's an odd name for a beer, but it tastes really good. Highly recommend.

Lasagne is the GILF of foods...

...It's got culture and good taste, but down below its just a sloppy cheesy mess.

I wrote this, does it need work?

Next door's parrot was so good at doing impressions, it even *tasted* like chicken.

Hannibal Lecter leaves a review for a private show with a comedian...

Great show. The man was so good at impersonations he tasted like chicken.

My billionaire boss sent me out for a gallon of milk. "That's what, about $3000?" he asked. "Yes, sir," I replied. So I pick it up for him and kept the difference.

Skim milk has never tasted so good.

I would never get a dog from a breeder.

Rescue dogs taste just as good and can be had for a fraction of the price.

What's the difference between a watermelon and a babys head?

One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one tastes good

Guys with good taste

Her: I like guys with good taste
Him: Lucky for you, I've been eating pineapple all day
Her: What?
Him: What?

My kids love Life cereal. I told them there's a grown-up version called That's Just Life

Each box of it is expensive, mostly empty & doesn't taste very good.

Two Cannibals Are Talking

Two cannibals are talking to each other.
Hey, you remember that person we ate a couple weeks ago, the one that tasted so good?
Yes, it's still flesh in my memory.

A guy walks into a bar and orders a whisky neat....

He pins it in one go...
He orders another... pins that too..
After about 4 whiskys, the barman asks him "whats up?"
"Im after having my first blo job" says the guy..
"Ah good man..", says the barman.."here, have this whisky on the house..congratulations!!"
The guy replies " if 4 didnt get the taste out of my mouth, I dont think a fifth will help!!"

A man goes to the vet

Man: "Doctor, judging by the p**..., I think my dogs sick"
Vet: "Why do you say that now?"
Man: "Well it tasted awful!"
Vet: "Good God! Why would you eat your dog's p**...?"
Man: "I didn't, I ate the dog"
Vet: "Oh God No!
Man: "It was my p**... that tasted awful afterwards"
Vet: "Nooooooo!"

Two Mosquitoes go to a Liquor Store.

One buys O- Blood, and one buys AB- Blood.
Mosquito 1: You must have really good taste.
Mosquito 2: And you're just whippin' by for a drink?
Mosquito 1: Nah, this kind's just really easy to get 'round here.

A new and easy test for COVID-19

Take a glass and pour your favourite spirit, then see if you can smell it.
If you can then you are halfway there.
Then drink it and if you can taste it then it is reasonable to assume you are currently free of the virus.
I tested myself nine times last night and was virus free every time, thank goodness.
I will have to test myself again today, as I have a headache, which can also be one of the symptoms!!!

COVID-19 home test:

Open a beer and smell it. If you can smell the beer, this is good, as one of the symptoms of COVID-19 is a loss of smell.
Now drink the beer. If you can taste it, this is good, as another symptom of COVID-19 is loss of taste.
I was tested 11 times yesterday, and all tests turned out negative.
I need more testing today, since headache is another potential symptom...

I want to know, if vegetables are so good,

why are vegetarians always trying to make them taste like meat?

A man went to the doctor for a routine checkup

He was generally well, just thought it was a good idea to check in. The doctor, however, immediately reached for the covid swab.
"I'm going to test you for Covid19" the Doctor said.
"But I'm well, no complaints, why would you do that?" Replied the man.
"Well..." The doctor started, his gaze narrowing. "Loss of taste is a known symptom of the virus, and you're wearing Crocs."

s**... how every girl I'm interested in is either taken

or has good taste in men

Two guys walking down the road see a pile of dog p**...

One says, "hey that looks like dog p**...". Then he bends over and touches it. He says, "feels like dog p**...". The other bends over and sniffs it. Says, "smells like dog p**...". Then he sticks his finger in it and tastes it. He says "tastes like dog p**...". The other one says, "Well, good thing we didn't step in it!!"
Note: little boys crack right up all the way through with this joke. Something about p**... is enormously funny to boys.