Good Crab Jokes
7 good crab jokes and hilarious good crab puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about good crab that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Good Crab Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good good crab joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A wife went to the beach and didn't return. A husband called the police.
The police came in a week.
- We have 3 news for you: good, bad and great.
- Let's start with the bad one.
- Your wife drowned - we pulled her out of the water.
- And what is the good news?
- We have picked up a bucket of large c**... from her body.
- And what is the great news?
- We'll pull it out again tomorrow. Let's go for a beer!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
At a cinima
a man noticed a young woman sitting all by herself. He was excited to see she had both hands under her skirt and was f**... herself furiously. He moved over to the seat next to her and offered his help. She welcomed his help, and so he started f**... her like crazy. After awhile he got tired and withdrew his hand, he was surprised to see her go back to work on herself with both hands. "Wasn't I good enough?" he asked. "Great," she said, "but these c**... are still itching!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
George Bush, pope, and little school boy
Are on a plane travelling at heights. Suddenly the captain announces
"Too much weight, we need to lose some"
Unfortunately there is only one parachute.
Then Bush announces
"I am the most brilliant man in the United States, I must survive."
Therefore he c**... a c**... and jumps
But that is not enough, soon the captain announces again
"Too much weight"
The pope turns to the school boy and says
"You stay here, I am willing to sacrifice myself, after all, I have pretty good connections to heaven"
The school boy answers
"It's okay, you can take the c**.... The most brilliant man of the United States took my school bag"
A first grade teacher was giving a cookie to each student who spelt a word right
"Well little John" she said. "Can you spell Pig?"
"P-I-G" John said. "Very well. Here's your cookie!" the teacher said. She then went to the next student.
"Hi little Susan" she said. "Can you spell Cow?"
"C-O-W" Susan said. "Very well. Here's your cookie!" the teacher said. She then turned to the third student.
"Hello little Jim" she said. "How do you spell Crab?"
"C-R-A-B" John said. "Very well. Here's your cookie!" the teacher said. She then turned to the next student.
"Good day Ahmed. Can you tell me how to spell Racial Discrimination?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident....
...An Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers.
"We're sorry, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife," said one trooper.
"Tell me! Did you find her?!" Wilkens shouted.
The troopers looked at each other, One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"
Fearing the worst, an ashen Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first."
The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in Kachemak Bay."
"Oh, no!" exclaimed Wilkens. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?"
The trooper continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-five pound king c**... and 6 good-sized Dungeness c**... clinging to her."
Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news?"
The trooper said, "Tomorrow, we're going to pull her up again!"
Cajun good news and bad news
Thibodaux walks up to Boudreaux and says, "Boudreaux, I've got some good news and some bad news; which do you want to hear first?" Ol Boudreaux replies, "Told me the bad news, den the good news cheer me up!" "Well git holt of yourself; we found your wife, dead, floating down the bayou."
"Oh my ya!" Boudreaux cries. "Das horrible!!! What could possibly be de good news????"
Thibodaux replies, "Well, when we pulled her out the bayou, we found 4 or 8 blue crab on her.... We're gonna run her again in the morning!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Boudreaux Joke
Boudreaux's wife don't come home one night.Boudreaux is sick with worry. Three days later Thibodaux comes to Boudreaux' door and tells him "I gots you some good news and some bad news" Boudreaux says" I'm a man,give me the bad news first". Thibodaux says " We just found your wife Clotilde dead, floating face down in Bayou Lafourche". Boudreaux said" p**... -YAH !! What could be the good news??" Thibodaux said" The good news is that we picked 2 hampers of c**... off her,and we're going to run her again tonight."
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