Good Bye Jokes
29 good bye jokes and hilarious good bye puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about good bye that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Good Bye Short Jokes
Short good bye jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The good bye humour may include short goodbye jokes also.
- Elton John discovered some high-end denims and decided to throw out his regular Levi's. He said good bye normal jeans.
- What's the difference between astronauts and people with suicidal tendencies? Their interpretations of the phrase, "good bye world".
- I knew a shopaholic woman who routinely ended relationships. She couldn't pass up a good buy (good bye).
- My girlfriend left a note on the fridge saying, This isn't working. I am leaving, good bye. I opened up the fridge and it seems to be working just fine...and she says I'm the s**... one?
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Good Bye One Liners
Which good bye one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with good bye? I can suggest the ones about farewell and saying bye.
- A wife is like a hand grenade... Take off the ring and say good bye to your house.
- How do you say good bye to two hundred thousand Indonesians? A big wave.
- How Does Uranium Atom Say Good Bye....? GOTTA SPLIT
- How does a nut say good bye to another nut? I'll cashew later bro.
- Money talks But all mine ever says is good-bye.
- How does a pornstar say good bye to a client? Nice business doing pleasure with you.
- What did South Korea say to their President? Good-bye, Geun-hye.
- What do french werewolves say when they say good bye? *Aroooo! revoir*
- Money talks it says good-bye
Good Bye Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about good bye you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean goodbye work jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make good bye pranks.
A cardiac specialist died and at his f**... the coffin was placed in front of a huge mock up of a heart made up of flowers. When the pastor finished with the sermon and eulogy, and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart opened, the coffin rolled inside and the heart closed.
Just then one of the mourners burst into laughter.
The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?"
"I was thinking about my own f**..." the man replied.
"What's so funny about that?"
"I'm a gynecologist."
Bill & Hillary are on a trip back to Arkansas..
They're almost out of gas, so Bill pulls into a service station on the outskirts of town. The attendant runs out of the station to serve them when Hillary realizes it's an old boyfriend from high school.
She and the attendant chat as he gases up their car and cleans the windows. Then they all say good-bye.
As Bill pulls the car onto the road, he turns to Hillary and says: "Now aren't you glad you married me and not him? You could've been the wife of a grease monkey!"
To which Hillary replied: "No Bill. If I would have married him you'd be pumping gas, and he would be the President."
Cheeky
A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him.
She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she turned to him and said,"I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease, it's just that you look so much like my late son."
He answered, "That's okay."
"I know it's silly, but if you'd call out "Good bye, Mom" as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy."
She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, the man called out, "Goodbye, Mom."
The little old lady waved, and smiled back at him.
Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone's day, he went to pay for his groceries.
"That comes to $121.85," said the clerk.
"How come so much? I only bought 5 items!"
The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said you'd be paying for her things, too."
It's an Army Captain's first day as Company Commander.....
He is in his new office, unpacking his stuff and setting things up, there is a knock on the door. The new Captain wants to impress his new soldiers, so he sits down, picks up the phone, and says "Come in."
A private enters the room, the Captain holds up his finger and starts talking "Ok General, thanks for the invitation to dinner at your house. I'm excited to be here and thanks again for hand picking me to Command this unit. See you Friday night. bye."
He hangs up and looks at the private and says "Hey there, what can I do for you?"
The private says "Good morning Sir, I'm just here to hook up your phone. "
the old man
Some older guy was following me around at a small grocery store, always about 10 feet back. He kept looking at me and sighing. I thought he was some old gay pervert, but I was wrong. He got to the store's single checkout line just before I did. There he turned to me and told me something quite heart wrenching. He said he was sorry for staring, but I looked exactly like his son who had died fighting in Iraq ten years before. He asked if it would be too weird if he could give me a hug and say goodbye as some sort of closure. I though it harmless so agreed. He gave me a hug and said, good bye, son. And then he left the store with his groceries. As I had my few items scanned and went to pay, I was outraged at the total. It was much more than my few items warranted. I asked the cashier to explain the situation, and she said that my father said I was covering his groceries too.
A man is sitting at a courthouse...
A man is sitting at a courthouse waiting for his trial after calling the Queen a swine. They finally call him, the queen is sitting at her throne, and three officials are in front of him and the man asks:
-"So I can't call the Queen a swine anymore?"
One of the officials says:
-"No you can't, and you will have to pay a fine."
The man replies:
-"Ok. But let me ask you something: If I want to call a swine "queen", is that ok ?"
-"Yes... I suppose." Says the confused official
The man looks up to the queen's throne
-"Ok then. Good bye, Queen!"
The Perfect Husband.
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and begins to talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: Hello?
WOMAN: Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?
MAN: Yes.
WOMAN: I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only Rs. 25,000. Is it OK if I buy it?
MAN: Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.
WOMAN: I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked.
MAN: How much?
WOMAN: Rs. 55,40,000.″
MAN: OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.
WOMAN: Great! Oh, and one more thing… the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking Rs. 1,95,00,000″
MAN: Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of Rs. 1,50,00,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 45 lakhs if it's really a pretty good price.
WOMAN: Ok. I'll see you later! I love you so much!
MAN: Bye! I love you, too.
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.
He turns and asks: Anyone know who this phone belongs to?