Good And Plenty Jokes
17 good and plenty jokes and hilarious good and plenty puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about good and plenty that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Good And Plenty Short Jokes
Short good and plenty jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The good and plenty humour may include short plenty jokes also.
- Its not a Muslim ban. Trump: "Its not a Muslim ban there are plenty of other Muslim countries that weren't banned. Its definitely not a Muslim ban"
Darth Bannon: "No its not but its a good start" - With the holidays coming a good friend told me the true meaning of having plenty... It means a lot
- Why are black people so good at basketball? There are plenty of basketball courts in prison
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Good And Plenty One Liners
Which good and plenty one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with good and plenty? I can suggest the ones about plethora and plenty of fish in the sea.
- There might be plenty of good food choices in College.. .. but you can't Top Ramen
- Statistics are like skirts They show us plenty of good stuff but not the main thing
- How was the movies? Did you bring enough candy? Good and Plenty.
Good And Plenty Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about good and plenty you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean plenty of fish jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make good and plenty pranks.
A company of the French Foreign Legion are lost in the desert...
The Captain assembles his men and says: "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is... we have run out of food and there is nothing to eat but sand. The good news is... there's plenty."
How to be Insulting at Christmas: Refuse to give any guests a drink, on the grounds that it's for their own good not to drink and drive. Have plenty of soft drinks to offer them though. Then pour yourself a large Scotch, on the grounds that you aren't going anywhere and don't have to worry.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dave is tired of the corporate world and city life so he moves to a small country town....
After a few weeks of not seeing a single soul there was a knock on his door. He opens it to be greeted by a man.
"Welcome to the neighbourhood, my name is Jimbob. I'm your neighbour and would like to invite you to a party"
"That sounds great!" Dave replies.
"Oh it will be, there is gonna be plenty to drink" says Jimbob.
"And when i start gettin tipsy i turn the music up, which gets the party really started, so there will be plenty of dancin" he continues.
"Usually a fight or two breaks out, nothing unusual for these parts" he says
"And always plenty of s**...!!"
Dave is starting to think wow this sounds like a good party and asks "how many people turn up to these types of things?"
"Oh, Just you an me" answers Jimbob
An airplane crashes on a deserted island and only 2 men and a woman survive.
The three wait and survive for a few weeks before they realize that they aren't going to be rescued. They decide to accept their fate and start enjoying life on the island. They have plenty of food, water, and other supplies that they found around the island. Naturally they start to have urges, and they decide that the guys will take turns for when the girl is in the mood.
So life is good for a few weeks until the girl becomes fatally ill. The girl dies a week later. So the two men think about what they should do now.
Man 1: "I have an idea... But I've never done it before."
Man 2: "I know what you're thinking. I'm willing to try it..."
So every night for about 3 weeks after the girl died, the men attempt the idea and each morning both men are sore and disgusted. Finally one night:
Man 1: "STOP! We can't do this anymore! It isn't right! It's not natural!"
Man 2: "Yes, I agree... We'll bury her body in the morning."
A lawyer arrives at the pearly gates...
St. Peter says "good lad! Let me welcome you to heaven! You shall live in a house made of gold, with a yard as far as the eye can see and other luxuries you can imagine!" So the lawyer went in happily.
Then, a priest arrives. He thought "for sure, I will get something better than the lawyer, as I am a man of God!"
But st. Peter says,"welcome! Make your way down the road to the left, and you'll get a standard house as the others."
Outraged, the priest asked " how come that lawyer gets a better treatment than me?"
St. Peter replies "we got plenty of priests in heaven, but this is the first time we got a lawyer!"
Stolen Wood
John was feeling guilty, so he went to church for a confession.
John: Forgive me Father, I have sinned. I stole some wood from a construction site.
The priest: Well what did you do with the lumber my son?
John: Well my sons wheelchair ramp was broken so I fixed it.
The priest: At least you did good with it.
John: Wait father, I had some wood left.
The priest: What did you do with it?
John: My dog was cold so I built him a house.
The priest: I guess you still did good with it.
John: Wait father, I had some wood left.
The priest: What did you do with it?
John: My car was cold, so I built it a two-car garage to keep it warm.
The priest: That is a little out of hand...
John: But father, I still had a little wood left. My wife had always wanted a bigger house, so I built a second floor for our house.
The priest: Whoa! That's way too much! You are going to have to make a Novena for penance. Do you know how to make a Novena?
John: No, but if you have the plans I have plenty of wood.
A woman sees an old couple sharing a meal at McDonald...
A woman walks into McDonald and orders her meal. As she sits down with her food, she sees an old couple in a corner booth sharing a single happy meal. The old woman ate while the old man watched hungrily.
"They must be really poor", she thought and decided to do a good dead and bought another meal and brought over to the old couple. When she brought the meal over and explained, the old man thanked her but declined.
"Thank you, my dear, but we have plenty of money. We are sharing because when we were married over 50 years ago we vowed to share everything. Even a simple meal"
The woman who bought the meal was embarrassed and apologized, but she had one more question before she left them alone.
"I understand sharing everything, but why are you watching her eat? why not split the meal and eat together?" she asked
The old man flashed his gums to the younger woman and told her:
"Because it's her turn for the teeth"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This is a classic Deaf joke.
Three men are on a train: One Cuban, one Russian and one Deaf man. The Cuban is smoking a huge cigar, but half way through it throws it out the window. The Russian and the Deaf man exclaim about him wasting the beautiful cigar, but he just shrugs and says, "Eh, we have *plenty* of cigars back home."
The the Russian take out a handle of v**... and begins slugging it back, but with half of it finished, turns and tosses it out the window. 'Why woulf you waste such good v**...!" the Deaf man and the Cuban exclaim. "Psh, we have *plenty* of v**... back home."
Then the Deaf man says, "Okay, one minute," and walks off. The Russian and the Cuban look at each other in confusion and shrug, waiting for the Deaf man to return. He does, but he's dragging a man with him. Struggling, he finally tosses the man out the window. The other two yell, "Why would you do that?!! You just killed him!" The Deaf man shrugs and says, "Oh, we have *plenty* of hearing people back home.