gonna Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious gonna puns

Twenty years from now, kids are gonna think "Baby it's cold outside" is really weird, and we're gonna have to explain that it has to be understood as a product of its time.

You see, it used to get cold outside

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My wife found out i was cheating on her after she found all the letters I was hiding...

She got so mad and said she's never gonna play scrabble with me ever again

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I've just started to read a horror novel in braille.

Something bad is gonna happen. I can feel it.

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What does a pregnant fourteen year old and the fetus inside her have in common?

They're both thinking, Shit, my mom is gonna kill me!

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Blonde gets caught speeding.

The cop is also a blonde.

Cop: Let me see your driver's license.

Driver: What's that?

Cop: A square thing with your picture on it.

Blonde fumbles through her purse, finds a mirror, sees herself in it, and hands it to the cop.

Cop looks at it, hands it back and says,

I'm gonna let you go without a ticket. I didn't know you were a cop.

(

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If I ever go to prison, I'm gonna change my name to mitochondria...

I want everyone to know I'm the powerhouse of the cell.

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The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested

I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.

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A man sees a lady with big breasts.

He asks, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?"

He replies, "No, it's too expensive."

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I bought my son a puppy for his birthday, but I accidentally backed over him in the driveway and killed him...

Sure is gonna be tough raising this puppy without him.

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I was watching a movie with my son the other day. He got scared and asked me, "Daddy, is that woman really gonna die?"

I said, "Judging by the size of that horse's cock, yes."

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My wife's birthday is in two days, and she told me that she would be happy as long as I get her something with a lot of diamonds in it.

She's gonna love this pack of playing cards.

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I was having sex with a friends wife, the phone rang. heard it was her husband. I freaked & started getting dressed

She hung up, told me not to worry. He told her he was gonna be late, he was out drinking with me.

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What did Mike Tyson say to Vincent van Gogh??

You gonna eat that?

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What did the egg say to the boiling water?

It's gonna take me a little while to get hard, I just got laid by this chick.

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Some bloke just told me he was gonna smack me with the neck of his guitar....

I said, is that a fret?

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Doctor: I've got good news, and bad news

Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: They're gonna name a disease after you.

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So God creates Adam...

...and soon after he notices that Adam is lonely.

God says "Do not fear, my child. For I will create a partner to accompany you and man from this time forth. She will be known, as a woman."

God continues "She will be obedient, loyal, passionate and nurturing."

Adam hesitates..

"What is this gonna cost me?" Adam asks.

God responds "An arm and a leg."

Adam retorts "What can I get for a rib?"

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For health reasons, my doctor says I should avoid trans fats

I'm gonna miss tumblr

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I saw a TV for sale for 1$

I saw that the TV was in very good condition.

"Why is it so cheap? " I asked the seller

"The volume is stuck at max, and it can't be turned down" he replied

"So everything else works?" I asked

He turned it on, and sure enough everything worked, except the volume


"So you're gonna buy it?"

"A TV for $1? Can't turn it down"

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A man tells his wife before he goes to bed, "I'm gonna go get your aspirin"

The wife says, "Aspirin? I don't have a headache."
"Ah, HAH!!" The man exclaimed

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With the Zika virus and how much hooking up happens in the Olympic Village..

The Special Olympics are gonna be awesome in 12 to 14 years.

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my wife finally agreed to a threesome, on the condition that she picks the girl

i replied "nah, honey, i'm gonna pick both of them"

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The Barbershop

A little girl goes to the barbershop with her dad and stands next to the chair eating a muffin while her dad gets a haircut.

The barber smiles at her and says:
"You're gonna get hair on your muffin!"
"I know", she says... "I'm gonna get tits too, you dirty old bastard."

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Roses are red, Cellos are brown

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down ;)

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Doctor: I have the results of your test. You're gonna have to stop masturbating.

Me: Oh no! Why doctor?"

Doctor: Because I'm trying to talk to you, and it's very distracting.

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Me and my wife, we have decided that we don't want kids.

They are not gonna like it.

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I took my finger out of her hole, and in seconds she was going down on me.

I thought to myself, Man. I am really gonna miss this boat.

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Judas: CΒ΄mon Jesus weΒ΄re gonna be late for last supper

Jesus: The what??
Judas: The supper.. weΒ΄re gonna be late for supper.

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A pregnant teen and her baby is thinking the same thing...

"My mom is gonna kill me."

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A redneck sees another carrying a sheep under each arm.

So he asks him, "you shearing?" The other answers "nope, gonna fuck 'em both m'self."

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What do a pregnant teenage girl and her baby have in common?

They're both thinking, "Oh shit, my Mom is gonna kill me."

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a man goes to a library and asks for a book on suicide.........

Librarian stares at him for a while, then asks: Who's gonna bring it back ?

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My computer crashed a few hours into writing my paper

looks like I'm gonna have to write my name and the date again

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Today I was offered sex by an 18 year old female...

Now I'm not gonna lie this chick was smoking hot. In exchange for the sex I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner for her. Of course I, being the great person that I am, declined because I have high moral standards and my willpower is very strong.....but not as nearly as strong as Ajax, the safe and affordable bathroom cleaner, now available in lemon and vanilla scents

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A husband calls up a hotel's manager from his room..

..Husband : Please come fast , I was having an argument with my wife and she says shes gonna jump out of the window.
Manager : Sir, I am sorry I can't help you , this seems to be a personal issue.
Husband : You asshole, this is a maintenance issue. The window isn't opening.

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What are the most funny Gonna jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Gonna? Well, here are the best Gonna dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Gonna pick up lines to share with friends.

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