Goldberg Jokes
25 goldberg jokes and hilarious goldberg puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about goldberg that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Check out these hilarious Goldberg jokes entirely written by prease Bris. From the classic goldberg line to Jewish themed jokes, get ready to laugh out loud and share the laughs with your friends.
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Funniest Goldberg Short Jokes
Short goldberg jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The goldberg humour may include short iceberg jokes also.
- A restaurant owner wouldn't serve Mel Brooks, Whoopi Goldberg, or Andrew Lloyd Webber. I never expected to see such EGOT-ism in this day and age.
- Dear Canada, as a thank you for sending us Justin Bieber We are sending you Miley Cyrus, Whoopie Goldberg and Rosie O'Donnell
- Watching "The Nun" and seriously disappointed, would have been better as a musical with Whoopi Goldberg
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Goldberg One Liners
Which goldberg one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with goldberg? I can suggest the ones about exchange and .
- What do you call a mean Jewish engineer? A Rude Goldberg
- How did Mrs. Goldberg' parents conceive? They made Whoopi!
- What did Goldberg say when he boarded the wrong train? "Auschittz."
- What is Chewbaccas favorite celebrity? Wookie Goldberg
- What do you call Whoopi Goldberg after s**...? A Whoopi pie.
Amusing Goldberg Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about goldberg you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make goldberg pranks.
A jew and a Chinese man are in an argument...
The jew says, "I hate your people for what you did at pearl harbour". The Chinese man says, what do you mean? That was the Japanese!". The jew replies, "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same. So the Chinese man says, "Well I hate your people for sinking the titanic". The jew says, "That's ridiculous; an iceberg sunk the titanic!". The Chinese man responds, "Iceberg, Goldberg, Silverberg, you're all the same".
A Jewish man and a Chinese man are in a bar. Suddenly, the Jewish man punches the Chinese man in the face.
"Ow! Why did you do that?" asks he Chinese man.
"That's for Pearl Harbor," says the Jewish man.
"But the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. I'm Chinese!" says the Chinese man.
"Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?" asks the Jewish man.
So the Chinese man punches the Jewish man.
"Ow! What's that for?" asks the Jewish man.
"It's for the Titanic," says the Chinese man.
"What? That was an iceberg that brought down the Titanic!" says the Jewish man.
"Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"
A Chinese man and a Jewish man are sitting next to each other on a plane.
Suddenly, the Jewish man slaps the Chinese man across the face.
"What was that for?" asks the Chinese man..
"For Pearl Harbor" says the Jewish man.
"That was Japanese. I'm Chinese," the Chinese man says.
"Chinese, Japanese" what's the difference?
Few minutes later, the Chinese man slaps the Jewish man.
"What was that for?" asks the Jew.
"It's for the Titanic."
"The Titanic? That was an iceberg..."
"Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?" says the Chinese man.
A Korean and a Jew
Jew: Hey... weren't you people responsible for Pearl Harbor?
Korean: Uh... that was the Japanese. I'm Korean.
Jew: Pffft, Japanese, Chinese, Korean. What's the difference?
Korean: Well wait, weren't you people responsible for sinking the Titanic?
Jew: Uh... that was an iceberg.
Korean: Pffft, Rosenberg, Goldberg, iceberg... What's the difference?
A Jewish man and a Chinese man strike up a conversation
Before long they're arguing.
Jewish man: "You know what? I hate you."
Chinese man: "Why?"
Jewish man: "Pearl Harbor!"
Chinese man: "That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!"
Jewish man: "Japanese, Chinese what's the difference?"
Chinese man: "Well, you know what? I hate you."
Jewish man: "Why?"
Chinese man: "The Titanic!"
Jewish man: "An iceberg sunk the Titanic!"
Chinese man: "Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"
A Chinese doctor has a Jewish patient.
"Listen," says the patient, "I didn't think we were going to get along so good together."
"What do you mean?"
"What do I mean! Pearl Harbor, that's what I mean!"
"What are you talking about, Pearl Harbor? I'm Chinese!"
"Yeah, well...Chinese, Japanese, it's all the same thing."
"What do you mean, all the same thing? The Jews sunk the Titanic!"
"The Jews sunk the Titanic?"
"Sure. Greenberg, Goldberg, Iceburg, all the same to me!"
A Jewish guy walking through Chinatown notices a jewelry shop with has a big sign that says - Abe Goldberg jewelry.
He walks in and asks to meet Abe Goldberg. A Chinese man comes out from the back and says - herro, I Abe Golber.
The Jewish guy says, you're Abe Goldberg??? How did you get that name?
The Chinese man tells how when he was at Ellis Island, the guy in line before him was Abe Goldberg. When the immigration officer asked for his name he said - **Sam Ting**
So an old Jewish man dies
So an old Jewish man dies and as per his last wish, his son goes to the newspaper publisher and asks, "How much for an obituary in your newspaper?"
Publisher says, "$5 per word".
The son says, "Publish 'Jacob Goldberg Dead' ".
The publisher says, "We require minimum 6 words".
So the son says, "In that case make it 'Jacob Goldberg Dead, Wheelchair For Sale' ".
Goldberg opens a hardware store.
To advertise, he rents a billboard, puts up a picture of Jesus nailed to the cross, with the caption: They used Goldberg's nails.
His son, upon seeing this, exclaims to his father, You can't use that! It will cause antisemitism!"
So Goldberg exchanges it for a picture of Jesus's body laying on the ground, hands bloodied, with the caption: They didn't use Goldberg's nails.
A Jewish guy walks into a bar. The Chinese bartender asks him his name...
"I'm Max Goldberg", he says, "what's yours?"
"I'm Wei Zhang, it's nice to meet you."
Mr. Goldberg says, "I'll never forgive you people for b**... Pearl Harbor."
"I'm Chinese. That was the Japanese."
"Chinese, Japanese, all the same to me."
Mr. Zhang says, "I'll never forgive you people for sinking the Titanic."
"I'm Jewish, that was an iceberg."
"Goldberg, iceberg, all the same to me."
Chinese guy and a Jewish guy sitting at a bar.
Suddenly Jewish guy whacks Chinese guy on the head. What was that for? says the Chinese guy. Pearl Harbor says the Jewish guy. Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese. Jewish guy says Japanese Chinese what's the difference?
Time goes by. Suddenly the Chinese guy whacks the Jewish guy on the head. What's that for? Sinking of the Titanic. Titanic was sunk by an iceberg. Iceberg Goldberg what's the difference?
At the u**...
Two man, p**... side by side.
"Sorry sir, do you happen to be of the Jewish faith?"
"Erh... yes I am."
"You are from Krakow?"
"Yes."
"And did you always go to the small synagogue in the Lipowitz Street?"
"Yes, do we know each other?"
"I don't think so. But you were born between 1970 and 1980?"
"Yes, could you finally tell me where we met?"
"We have not met, sir. But in the small synagogue in the Lipowitz Street in Krakow, Rabbi Goldberg war responsible for the bris in between 1970 and 1980. And the good Rabbi never managed to make a clean cut. And you're p**... on my shoes".
Two guys at a yard sale are chatting, one says whatcha got there, pal?
Fella over there sold me a bunch of dominoes, a paint can, a ball, and a mousetrap
What in the h**... would you need all that junk for?
He said I can use it to crack an egg
You're such a rube, Goldberg
A Jewish and a Chinese Guy.
Once two dudes, a Jewish and a Chinese were talking.
J: You evil Japanese started World War 2 by b**... Pearl Harbour.
C: I'm Chinese, not Japanese.
J: But you all look the same.
C: Well you sunk the Titanic.
J: That was an iceberg.
C: Iceberg, Goldberg, Bloomberg, its all the same to me.
Two homeless are on the street in front of the Vatican...
One has a big cross and the other a star of David. The pope sees them and stops his whole entourage to go speak to them. He says to the beggar under the star of David, "my son this is a Catholic country. You're never going to get any charity with this Jewish emblem above you, especially as the fellow right next to you has a cross above him. In fact, I'll bet some people would give to him purely to spite you."
The one beggar turns to the other and says, "hey Moshe, look who's trying to teach the Goldberg brothers about marketing!"
