Gold Platinum Jokes
9 gold platinum jokes and hilarious gold platinum puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about gold platinum that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Hilarious Fun Gold Platinum Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What is a good gold platinum joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
They say I'm overconfident
Edit 1: Thanks for the silver!
Edit 2: Thanks for the gold!
Edit 3: Thanks for the platinum!
Edit 4: Wow this really blew up!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A third-grade science teacher asks her students, "If you could have one substance in the world, what would it be?"
"I would have gold," says Harold. "Why?" asks the teacher. "Well," says Harold, "I could sell the gold and buy a fancy car."
"I would have platinum," says Susie. "Why?" asks the teacher. "Well," says Susie, "I could sell the platinum and buy two fancy cars."
"I would have hair," says Johnny. "Why?" asks the teacher. "Well," says Johnny, "my mom has a tiny s**... of hair between her legs, and you should see all the fancy cars outside our house!!!"
I saw a burglar on the CCTV of my elements shop. He was taking gold, iodine, carbon, uranium, platinum, and three bottles of nitric oxide. I said over the tannoy....
'Au, I C U! NO NO NO!'
I didn't mention the Fifth Element because it was so overpriced and overhyped.
While renovating my fence I was digging a hole in my backyard when I found a box filled with silver, gold and platinum
The things you get by re-posting.
The science teacher stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw material in the world, what would it be?"
Little Stevie raised his hand and said "I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Corvette." The teacher nodded, and then she called on little Susie.
Little Susie said, "I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Porsche." The teacher smiled, and then she called on Little Johnny.
Little Johnny stood up and said, "I would want silicone." The teacher said, "Silicone? Why silicone, Little Johnny?" "Because my mom has two bags of the stuff and you should
see all the sports cars outside our house!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A New Metal has been added to Chemistry
Name: Woman
Symbol: Wm
Atomic mass: Light when first found... tends to get heavier with time.
**PHYSICAL PROPERTIES**
- Boils at any time
- Can freeze at any time
- Melts if treated with love
- Very Bitter if Mishandled
**CHEMICAL PROPERTIES**
- Very Reactive
- Highly Unstable
- Possesses Strong Affinity towards Gold, Silver, Diamond, Platinum, Credit cards, Debit cards & Cheque books
- Money Reducing Agent
**OCCURRENCE**
- Mostly found in front of the Mirror.
- It's highly flammable when mixed with in-laws.
- It has mixed properties when seated with parents.
- Very harmful to you if she sees you with any element similar to itself!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Datasheet of a Woman
Element | Woman
Symbol | ♀
Discoverer | Adam
Atomic Mass | Accepted as 55kg, but known to vary from 45kg to 225kg
**Physical Properties:**
1. Body surface normally covered with a film of powder and paint
2. Boils at absolutely nothing - freezes with no apparent reason
3. Found in various grades ranging from v**... material to common ore.
**Chemical Properties:**
1. Reacts well to gold, platinum and all precious stones.
2. Explodes spontaneously without reason or warning
3. The most powerful money reducing agent known to man
**Hazards**
1. Turns green when placed alongside a superior specimen.
2. Possession of more than one is possible but specimens must not make contact.
New (Periodic Table) Element
A new element added to the PERIODIC TABLE :
Name: Girl
Symbol: Gl
Atomic weight: Don't even dare to ask.
Physical properties:
1. Boils at any time,
2. Melts when handled with love and care,
3. very bitter when mishandled.
Chemical properties:
1. Very reactive,
2. Highly unstable,
3. Possesses high affinity to gold, platinum, diamond, branded clothes and other expensive items.
Nature:
1. Money reducing agent.
2. Volatile when left alone.
Occurrence:
Mostly found in front of the mirrors.
A forester and a lawyer were in car accident and showed up at the pearly gates together.
St. Peter greets them at the pearly gates and takes them to the homeswhere they will spend all of eternity.
They get into St. Peter’s holy vehicle and head on down a gold road, which turns into a platinum road, which turns onto an even grander road paved with diamonds, to a huge mansion where St. Peter turns to the lawyer and says, here is your home for the rest of eternity, enjoy!
And if there is anything you need, just let me know.
Then St. Peter took the forester to his home, back down the diamond studded boulevard, down the platinum highway, down the street of gold, down an avenue of silver, along a stone alley and down an unpaved footpath to a shack.
St Peter says “Here you go” and goes to leave when the forester says “Waitaminute!, how come the lawyer gets the big mansion and I get this shack?”
St. Peter says: “Well, Foresters are a dime a dozen here, we have never had a lawyer before.”
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