Gold Mined Jokes
30 gold mined jokes and hilarious gold mined puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about gold mined that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Gold Mined Short Jokes
Short gold mined jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The gold mined humour may include short gold miner jokes also.
- Why were people flocking to the gender neutral mine? Because there's gold in them/their hills
- I asked my girlfriend if I could make her mine. "Yes! Oh, yes!" she shouted, eyes filled with tear. "Great!" I said. "Now take this pick and go find me some gold!"
- Now I ain't saying she's a gold digger... But she has an unusual amount of mining equipment.
- I ain't saying she's a gold digger. . . But you don't buy a pickaxe and mining helmet on a whim
- My girlfriend told me "You're mine!" I asked her if that was the reason why she acted like a gold digger
- What did the owner of the mining rig say to his workers after they blasted the rock and found gold underneath? Wow this really blew up! Thanks for the gold!
- My father was a commercial miner his whole life, but he only mined silver and gold. On his deathbed, I asked him what his favorite metal to mine was... he said Either ore.
- What did the pessimistic and candid mine owner, say to his workers. Wow! This really blew up. Thanks for the gold.
- I don't hate reposters Unless they have 1k+ upvotes and gold, *which should have been mine*.
- How long does it take for a post to get gilded? All of the other jews already received their gold stars but I haven't gotten mine yet.
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Gold Mined One Liners
Which gold mined one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with gold mined? I can suggest the ones about gold digging and gold coins.
- I think I might go gold mining today... Aurum just gonna stay at home and relax.
- I'm making a fortune selling these fancy claymores They're a gold mine.
- A friend of mine told me a classic joke about chemist studying gold It was old but Au
- What did the Canadian say to the gold robber? That's mine AU give it back!
- A friend of mine found a gold coin in a lump of earth......... Lucky sod !
Silly & Ridiculous Gold Mined Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What funny jokes about gold mined you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean gold prospector jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make gold mined pranks.
I found out that the girl I'm dating is a gold digger
Idk how to tell her but I don't like gold diggers. It's not safe for her mentally as well as physically and the mine she works at doesn't give them health insurance or anything. What should I do?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I accidentally swallowed a small gold nugget
So I dug through my f**... to find it. My wife walked in and asked me what I was doing. I told her I was just mining my own business.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Johnny Has A Question
A boy comes home from school one day looking for his father. He has an assignment that he needs a little help with. He finds his father and tells him that he has to write a paper explaining the difference between potentially and actually.
His father says to him "That's an easy one", "Go upstairs and find your sister; ask her if she'd sleep with the mailman for $10,000."
So the boy does as he is told. When he comes back down he tells his father what he learned. "She said yes, dad." "So," said his dad "Find your mother, now, and ask her if she'd sleep with the mailman for $10,000 as well."
The boy does as he is asked, and then returns to his father again.
"She said yes too, dad." "Well, there you go." said the dad.
The boy looked at his father, puzzled.
He smiled, "Potentially we're sitting on a gold mine; but, actually I live with a couple of w**...!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Redditor accidentally trips and sets off an e**... in a precious metal mine. What's the first thing they say?
Holy c**... this blew up!
Uhhh thanks for the gold stranger!
A long time ago in a ghetto far far away...
...Yoda was walking down the street, wearing a ton of bling. Necklaces, bracelets, gold teeth, the works. A passer-by stops him and says, "Wow, Yoda, that's a ton of bling!"
Yoda replied, "For show, mine is all."
Is anyone else having problems with their spellchecker?
Mine keeps correcting into weird things. Like changing "my" into "me", "money" into "gold pieces" and the letter x into "here be treasure". It's a pirate copy.
The Economy of fiber optics
There´s a presentation on Crypto mining on stage.
Presenter: In 15 minutes minutes we have mined, an incredible 10 bucks in gold.
Audience member Shouts: There´s more gold in Fiber optics than that.
Tom Brady died
When he got to Heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Patriots flag in the window.
"This house is yours for eternity, Tom", said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here."
Tom felt special and walked up to his house. On his way to the porch, he noticed another house.
It was a 3-story mansion with a Black and Gold sidewalk, a 50 foot tall flagpole with an enormous Steeler flag, and in every window, a Terrible Towel hung.
Tom looked at God and said, "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but, why does Ben Roethlisberger get a better house than me?"
God chuckled, and said "Tom, that's not Ben's house, it's mine."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An elderly prospector was mining for gold with his daughter, Anne.
He chipped away and mined the ore while she maintained the camp and washed and organized anything he found.
They had a system where any time she found something special, she would light a special red lantern to let him know.
She wasn't very good at identifying gold though, and often misinterpreted the shine from mica or quartz as the gleam of a gold nugget.
After the third time in a day that she lit up the red lantern to falsely notify him of a newly found nugget, he grew angry and yelled at her.
"God d**...! They're rocks, Anne. You don't have to put on the red light!"
A farmer retires, and passes on the family farm to his son.
Without interest in growing crops, the son sells half the land to buy an excavator.
The son has the dream of striking it rich, without years of toiling as a farmer.
He begins to spend all day on the remaining land with the excavator, moving dirt, and filtering its contents, looking for gold.
The father, horrified at the result of the land, approaches his son, "You were supposed to use this land to farm! What happened?"
The son replies, "It's mine now!" and goes back to digging.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A miner walks into a San Francisco bar.
He's been working out in the gold mines for 6 months and is desperately craving the company of a woman. He walks up to the bartender and asks, "I don't suppose you have any women? I haven't had s**... in months..."
The bartender replies, "No, sorry... BUT we do have c**... Charlie out back if you want".
The miner says "Thanks, but I don't swing that way", and turns around and heads back to the mines.
He comes back in another 6 months, and asks again. "Do you have any women since I was here last time?"
"No, but we still have c**... Charlie"
"Sorry, I don't swing that way". The miner buys a whiskey and turns around and walks out the door and goes back to work in the mines.
6 months after that, the miner comes back to the bar.
"You get any women? It's been a year since my first visit..."
"No man, sorry. We still have c**... Charlie though".
Now, the miner is pretty desperate at this point. It's been 18 months since he last got laid, and he's tired of waiting. After some deep consideration, the miner sighs and says, "Alright fine. The only people that'll know about this is you, me, and c**... Charlie, right?"
"Yep. And the two men that hold him down," says the bartender.
"Why would there be two men holding him down?" The miner asks with a confused look on his face.
"c**... Charlie doesn't swing that way either".