Gold Jokes

Funniest Gold Short Jokes

Short gold jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The gold humour may include short silver jokes also.

1. What's the difference between a Syrian kindergarten and an ISIS hospital? I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.
   
2. What do you call a drunk guy trying to start his car? A lyft. Friends don't let friends drive drunk.
   
3. Where do little jokes come from? Well, a dad joke meets yo momma joke and then they knock knock.
   
4. Wife was breastfeeding Her: the baby sure is taking his time getting his meal in
   Me: yeah he is really milking it
   
5. The other day my friend was telling me i didnt know what irony meant Which was ironic since we were at a bus stop
   
6. Why did the non-binary prospector move West in 1849? Because there was gold up in them/their hills.
7. I was digging a hole in my backyard when I found a box filled with gold. I was so excited that I ran inside to tell my wife. Then I remembered why I was digging the hole in the first place.
8. When receiving payment in gold coins, pirates used to verify their purity by biting into them In other word, criminals only accepting payment in bit coins goes long way back
9. What did the redditor say after a stranger gave him a piece of explosive gold? Thanks for the gold, kind stranger
10. What color does your skin turn when you pour molten gold onto it? Au-burn
    ^He^^He^^^He^^^^He

Share These Gold Jokes With Friends

Gold One Liners

Which gold one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with gold? I can suggest the ones about metal and yellow.

1. Set your wifi password to 2444666668888888 So when someone ask tell them it's 12345678
   
2. Do you know how to avoid clickbait? Apparently not.
   -
   
3. Why hasn't Africa ever won Olympic gold in basketball? Because africa isn't a country.
4. I entered the world kleptomaniac championship tournament I took gold, silver and bronze.
5. How do you turn lead into gold? Start a war.
   
6. 2020 Olympic high jump results Gold - Mexico
   Silver - Mexico
   Bronze - Mexico
7. You know the times have changed... When Portugal leaves Brazil without taking any Gold.
8. How do you make gold soup ? Put 24 carrots in it
9. What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics? Walking.
10. The next person to show me that dress... ...is gonna get a white and gold eye.
11. I won gold at a weather forecasting event yesterday, I beat the raining champion.
12. Some weird German kid just gave me a gold coin. Thanks for the gold, strange kinder!
13. Here is some comedy gold for you ,d Au
14. What if Thor become Gold Thor? He will become an Author.
15. What did Sloth say when he found gold? AU GUYS!!!

Olympic Gold Jokes

Here is a list of funny olympic gold jokes and even better olympic gold puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why do Americans always win gold at the shooting Olympics? because they practice at the best schools
• Did you see that gymnast from North Korea in the Olympics? She didn't win gold but her execution was flawless.
• Olympic Results for Sailing are out: The British have taken the Gold medal.
  The French have taken the Silver medal.
  The Somalians have taken the boats.
• After one week of the Olympics, the Romanians have taken gold, silver, bronze lead, copper and anything else they can get their hands on.
• Hear about the first Polish athlete to win an Olympic gold medal? He was so proud, he had it bronzed.
• Why has Mexico never won olympic gold? All those who can run, jump and swim are in Texas.
• North Korea athletes... North Korea athletes, who fail to win gold medals in this year's Olympic Games, will have a chance to win gold medals in the next Paralympic Games.
• A man wins back to back golds in the Olympics for the decathlon. Ashton was Eaton up the competition
• Olympic Sailing results are in! Denmark have taken gold
  Finland have taken silver
  Somalia have taken a middle aged couple who were on a worldwide cruise
• I'm participating in the kleptomania Olympics this year. I plan to take home the gold, the silver and the bronze.

Gold Silver Jokes

Here is a list of funny gold silver jokes and even better gold silver puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• They say I'm overconfident Edit 1: Thanks for the silver!
  Edit 2: Thanks for the gold!
  Edit 3: Thanks for the platinum!
  Edit 4: Wow this really blew up!
• I heard the kid who fell into the gorilla pit was actually trying to get the jewelry his mother dropped. He didn't get the gold but he got the silver back.
• Gold and Silver walk into a bar... The bartender says, "Ey you, get outta here!"
  So Gold left.
• Deciding whether to buy gold or silver... ...is an either ore situation
• Human-beings get rich as they grow old: Silver in Hair;
  Gold in Teeth;
  Sugar in Blood;
  Precious Stones in Kidney;
  And a never ending supply of Gas!
• Silver walked up to elements in a bar that was on fire. Silver said "Get out!" Gold said "Aukay"
  Potassium said "K"
  Sodium said "Na"
  Argon didn't react.
• How did the Silver bar get the Gold bar's attention? Au
• I feel bad for whoever took the silver in fencing. Their dreams of gold were foiled.
• 4 Weather Patterns Are In A Race Sunny gets gold.
  Cloudy gets silver.
  Snowy gets bronze.
  And Rainy gets a precipitation award.
• Olympic sailing competition just finished. France got the gold, South Africa got the silver, and ... Somalia got the boat.

Gold Medal Jokes

Here is a list of funny gold medal jokes and even better gold medal puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• If you were stranded on an island and could bring three items what would you bring? Michael Phelps, a saddle, and stick with a gold medal on the end.
• Larry Nassar would have gotten away with it.... if it weren't for those medaling kids!
  Showerthoughts removed my original, so going for gold here.
• My friend Ty came first in the Beijing marathon, but wasn't awarded the gold medal. The Chinese refuse to acknowledge Ty won.
• A Brazilian got the first gold medal The police are already after him.
• Caitlyn Jenner decathlon joke Caitlyn Jenner recently confirmed that when she won the decathlon gold medal, she was, in fact, absolutely 100 heterosexual.
  She wanted to set the record straight.
• Why has the pope never won a gold medal? Because he always came in a little behind.
• My cows milk won a gold medal at 15 shows in a row... It was legend dairy.
• Getting a job right out of college... ENTRY LEVEL JOB OPENING:
  Hiring recent college grads.
  REQUIREMENTS: 5 years of experience, 6 Olympic gold medals, and super powers.
• I could win an Olympic gold medal If the women's gymnastic balance beam was a male competition too, I could win the gold medal. I've been mastering a 4 inch wood beam since I was a little kid
• Its hilariously ironic that the first gold medal won was by the U.S... For Shooting

Gold Bars Jokes

Here is a list of funny gold bars jokes and even better gold bars puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Kim Jong Un walked into a bar The North Korean media still said he got a gold for high jump
• Two Jewish guys walk into a bar with a funny looking pile of gold. The bartender asks, "What is this, a racist joke?"
  One of the jewish guys say, "No, this is comedy gold!"
• Gold walks into a bar the bartender yells, AU!
• So an Olympian walks into a bar... and is promptly disqualified from her final attempt at the high jump and has all her hopes and dreams of winning gold for her country destroyed.
• A scientist drops a bar of gold on his foot by mistake... "Au!", he exclaimed.
• What does a chemistry teacher says when gold bar fells on his/her feet? Auuuuuuu!
• I lost my gold bar. Au man!
• What do you say to get the attention of a gold bar? "AU"
• The other day I found two gold bars. I've always dreamed of an Au pair.
• Did you hear about the lawyer who ate gold? He passed the bar

Silly Gold Jokes for a Good Time with Friends

What funny jokes about gold you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean steel jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make gold pranks.