Following is our collection of funny Gold jokes. There are some gold diamond jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these gold gold miner puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
So when someone ask tell them it's 12345678
**"A man who lays with another man should be stoned."** [Leviticus 20:13 esv]
Edit1: a typo
Edit2: thanks for the gold humorous stranger!
"Whom, sweetheart?"
"Mike the mailman."
"Mike the mailman? But he could be your father!"
"But mom, age is just a number."
"Sweetheart, I don't think you understood."
​
I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.
A lyft. Friends don't let friends drive drunk.
Apparently not.
-
Well, a dad joke meets yo momma joke and then they knock knock.
Apparently you're not allowed to nudge the nearest co-worker and say, "get a load of this guy" every time someone walks in.
Her: the baby sure is taking his time getting his meal in
Me: yeah he is really milking it
They were having a mid-life crisis.
Brothel sprouts
You can explore gold hoard reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean gold ore dad jokes. There are also gold puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
**Ag**stralia
None. They're afraid of change- even if it makes the world a brighter place.
(
they're white, they're cold, and if you put enough of em together they'll shut down public schools
EDIT* Thanks for the gold! You popped my gold cherry!
its a joke folks. just a joke.
Which was ironic since we were at a bus stop
One turns to the other and says: "You man the guns, I'll drive"
A man gets home one day from work and excitedly shows off to his wife that he bought a pack of *Olympic Condoms*.
"What do you say I slip on a gold one and we give it a go?" He asks her with a grin.
She simply responds,
"Why don't you try out the silver and come second for a change"
Start a war.
Bill Gates goes fishing. Suddenly his fishing pole starts to jiggle, he quickly pulls it and see a gold fish hanging on it's edge.
"WAIT! PLEASE DON'T EAT ME!" the fish screams.
Bill answers: "oh wow, a talking fish! That's amazing! There you go little guy, I was going to release you anyway" and sets him free.
The fish turns around and say: "Thank you, now how about a wish?"
Bill answers: "Oh alright... what do you want?"
Au-burn
^He^^He^^^He^^^^He
They both slowly remove clogs.
I'll see myself out... Hey, at least it was original.
Thanks for the gold !
He turns up and walks into the clubhouse to get his membership and play a round.
The receptionist says 'Sorry Sir, we don't allow black people in this golf club.'
'That is ridiculous, its 2014 and you don't allow black people in your golf club?'
'Please don't make a scene Sir, there is another gold club 5 minutes down the road and they will let you in.'
'But I'm Usain Bolt!'
'OK then, 2 minutes.'
...is gonna get a white and gold eye.
A man was shopping in a nearby supermarket when he noticed a package that said "Olympic Condoms". He bought it, and told his wife about it.
" - Olympic Condoms? What's so special about them?"
" - They have 3 colors: Gold, Silver and Bronze."
" - And what color are you going to wear tonight?"
" - Gold, obviously!"
" - Why not Silver? It'd be great if you came second, for a change."
He didn't get the gold but he got the silver back.
but only for like 20 seconds...
Because Africa isn't a country.
When Portugal leaves Brazil without taking any Gold.
He notices that there are Olympic condoms on sale. He returns home and tells his wife, "Honey I bought Olympic condoms for us tonight!"
Wife: What's so special about them.
Husband: Well, there's a gold one, a silver one and a bronze one.
Wife: Which one are you gonna wear tonight?
Husband: The gold one of course!
Wife: Why don't you wear the silver one, it would be nice if you came second for a change.
Gold - Mexico
Silver - Mexico
Bronze - Mexico
Atlanta Falcons "Hold my beer."
Apparently "ditto" wasn't the correct response.
Thanks for the updates friends, I just don't know how people get those yellowish stars and would really like to learn.
[edit] Thank you for the gold kind stranger.
Put 24 carrots in it
He sure wags his tail a lotβ¦
An ounce of gold will still be worth a grand next year.
Walking.
Chemistry Professor: Now, class, here I have a beaker of H2SO4, and here I have a gold ring. Suppose I drop the ring into the sulphuric acid. Will the gold dissolve?
Student: No
Professor: Good. And will you please tell us why not?
Student: If it would dissolve, you wouldn't put it in.
I beat the raining champion.
He soon writes home to his father. "Dear Dad, Berlin is wonderful, the people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad I am a little ashamed to be riding to class every day in my 24k gold Ferrari 599GTB when my professors, friends and many fellow students all travel by train. Your son, Ahmed"
Promptly, his father writes back. "My Dear son Ahmed, $20 Million has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing our family. Go and get yourself a train too. Love, your dad"
I was so excited that I ran inside to tell my wife. Then I remembered why I was digging the hole in the first place.
Do you know how to drive this thing?
He kept warning them until they got sick of it and kicked him out of the theater.
because they practice at the best schools
Edit 1: Thanks for the silver!
Edit 2: Thanks for the gold!
Edit 3: Thanks for the platinum!
Edit 4: Wow this really blew up!
But then I remembered why I was digging a hole in the garden.
"Now take this pick and go find me some gold!"
Thanks for the gold, strange kinder!
Well, I just couldn't resist. I sat down and wrote not one, but 10 of my best knee-slappers, rib-ticklers, and witty turns-of-phrase. I sent my list of comedy gold to the paper, and then began daydreaming about what I would do with $200.
The day on which the paper announced the contest winner finally arrived! I scanned, and then carefully read the full-page of submissions, but the truth stared me in the face. Of my submissions that should have won, no pun in ten did.
I date this girl once, she was a solid 10. She was smoking hot, and crazy in bed. Things went south though, she claimed I lied about how much money I had.
And I was like my exact words where, that I has worth between 40 and 75 million dollars .
So what if it was only $2,165. It is still between $40- $75,000,000.
Because there was gold up in them/their hills.
Gold. What the hell would they need argon for?
He's having seizures.
The vet responded, He looks fine to me.
Sure, I said, but wait until I get him out of the bowl.
Wow, this blew up. Thanks for the gold.
Because there's gold in them/their hills
The mummy was wrapped in gold foil, so they believe it is the legendary Pharaoh Rocher
In other word, criminals only accepting payment in bit coins goes long way back
She didn't win gold but her execution was flawless.
To this day, the Chinese government refuses to acknowledge Tai won.
It was legend dairy.
Well you know what that means son, no butter for you for a month. The boy was upset and went back into the house. The next day the boy was playing in the garden again.
Dad! I accidentally killed a honeybee. The father looks at his son.
Well no honey for you for a month. The boy was upset and went inside the house. A few hours later the boy went up to his dad.
Dad! Mom just killed a cockroach.
(Old but gold lol)
Thanks for the Gold, kind stranger!
But only for about ten seconds.
Idk how to tell her but I don't like gold diggers. It's not safe for her mentally as well as physically and the mine she works at doesn't give them health insurance or anything. What should I do?
I took gold, silver and bronze.
its pretty metal
Windshield vipers!
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the gold gold digger jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working gold gold fish piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.