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Going Bald Jokes

52 going bald jokes and hilarious going bald puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about going bald that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Going Bald Short Jokes

Short going bald jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The going bald humour may include short losing hair jokes also.

  1. If I ever start to go bald I'll get a rabbit tattooed onto my head..
    From a distance it would look like a hare
  2. A man was going bald, so he got rabbits tattooed on to his head. From a distance they looked like hares.
  3. I knew I was going bald when... I knew I was going bald when it started to take longer and longer to wash my face. - Harry Hill
  4. Prayers before going on a blind date Woman : oh god, I just hope he is not a serial killer,psychopath,needy, incel, stalker, poor,balding, ...
    Man : god , don't let her be fat..
  5. I wouldn't say I was going bald, but.... When I asked my barber to cut my hair, he replied, "which one?"
  6. If you start going bald, get rabbits tattooed all over your head. Until you get up close they look just like hares.
  7. You know, they're making the prospective Mars astronauts shave their whole bodies prior to departure. That way, when it's time for blastoff... they'll baldly go where no man has gone before.
  8. I'm balding and my girlfriend is going to leave me but she says I can stay under one condition. I must remane.
  9. "Doctor, doctor! I think I'm going deaf." "Well, describe the symptoms for me." said the Doctor.
    "Alright," said the patient "Well, Marge has blue hair and Homer's bald."
  10. Why is Picard the best possible captain for the Enterprise ? You can be sure he will baldly go where no man has gone before.

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Going Bald One Liners

Which going bald one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with going bald? I can suggest the ones about balding hair and bald.

  1. I first noticed I was going bald When it took longer and longer to wash my face.
  2. I can't tell if I'm going bald... or if it's all in my head.
  3. My wife left me because I kept making jokes about her going bald. Well that's hair loss
  4. I'm really worried about this recession. I fear that I may go bald.
  5. My wife is leaving me because I'm going bald. I'm not bothered though, it's hair loss.
  6. When bald people wash there face, How far up do they go?
  7. What will Prince Harry do if he starts going bald? He'll wear a raspberry toupee
  8. Why did Harry Potter suddenly go bald in his teens? He lost his Hedwig
  9. My friend was going bald So I asked him, "Who's your barber, genetics?"
  10. What did René Descartes say when he went bald? Cogito hair go sum.
  11. Bald guy: "I'm not going bald I'm just getting more head."
  12. We're hoping Chuck Norris doesn't go bald on top.
    It's a bad look with his mullet.
  13. You know why bodybuilders go bald? Because the hair gets molested by the muscular scalp.
  14. I told my wife I thought I was going bald. She said "Hun, your hair looks fine".
  15. Why did the Eagle go to store to buy some Rogaine? To cover up his bald spot.

Quirky and Hilarious Going Bald Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.

What funny jokes about going bald you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean losing your hair jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make going bald pranks.

One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost.

For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle. He killed it, and started to eat it. Surprisingly, a couple of park rangers happen to find him at that moment, and arrested him for killing an endangered species. In court, he pleads innocent to the charges against him, claiming that if he didn't eat the bald eagle he would have died from starvation. The judge ruled in his favor. In the judge's closing statement he asked the man, "I would like you to tell me something before I let you go. I have never eaten a bald eagle, nor ever plan on it, but what did it taste like?" The man answered, "Well, it tasted like a cross between a whooping crane and a spotted owl!"

One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost.

For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle. He killed it, and started to eat it. Surprisingly, a couple of park rangers happen to find him at that moment, and arrested him for killing an endangered species. In court, he pleads innocent to the charges against him, claiming that if he didn't eat the bald eagle he would have died from starvation. The judge ruled in his favor. In the judge's closing statement he asked the man, "I would like you to tell me something before I let you go. I have never eaten a bald eagle, nor ever plan on it, but what did it taste like?" The man answered, "Well, it tasted like a cross between a whooping crane and a spotted owl!"

My father in law just told me this joke

"Well, you know what they say about balding. If you go bald in the front, you're a good thinker. If you go bald in the back, you're a good lover. If you go bald everywhere, you think you're a good lover."

A barber, a bald guy and a professor go for a night camp in a jungle.

They decide to guard one by one during the night. Barber's turn comes first. Others sleep.
While guarding, he gets bored and amuses himself by shaving the professor's head.
Then professor's turn comes. He touches and feels his bald head and thinks, "Idiot barber has woken up the bald guy by mistake".

So, I went to go get my haircut..

And I told the barber to make the left side a little shorter than my right. Then I told him to make a couple of little holes and bald patches. And for the back of my head, don't make my hairline equal. Make it a zigzag.
He looks at me and says, "Come on, you know I can't do that, it wouldn't be right!"
And I'm like, "I don't see the problem, you did it last time..."

Endangered meal

One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost. For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle. He killed it, and started to eat it. Surprisingly, a couple of park rangers happen to find him at that moment, and arrested him for killing an endangered species. In court, he pleads innocent to the charges against him, claiming that if he didn't eat the bald eagle he would have died from starvation. The judge ruled in his favor. In the judge's closing statement he asked the man, "I would like you to tell me something before I let you go. I have never eaten a bald eagle, nor ever plan on it, but what did it taste like?" The man answered, "Well, it tasted like a cross between a whooping crane and a spotted owl!"

A man's s**... life is like an oak tree

You spend the first part of your life growing up and not doing much. Then later you nut almost constantly for a short period of time, right up until you go bald

WHAT HAPPEN TO MAN WHO USE OWN HAIR AS TOOTHBRUSH

HE QUICKLY GO BALD... ALSO TOOTHBRUSH NOT WORK EFFECTIVE
h**... h**... h**...

ELI5: How do bald people determine where to end soaping when they wash their face?

Or do they just go all the way and shampoo with the soap.

Two older male dolphins notice their hairlines are starting to recede.

Dolphins go bald, too. Tough for humans to notice, but dolphins notice... Anyway...
Understandably, they start getting a little down in the dumps recognizing the loss of their youth and feeling a profound sense of their own mortality.
In a moment of clarity, one dolphin says to his buddy, Hey compadre, we don't have to just *accept* this as our new normal, ya know? What with modern fashion and technology these days… we can *do* something about this!
So they went out and bought matching hairpieces. They were toupees in a pod.

You know the scene, balding dude in a convertible with a h**....

She peels off her top and says "Faster you go, the more i take off!"
She's down to her socks and he's doing 120 mph when they c**.... Dazed and confused she finds the driver pinned in the car and goes for help, but all she can find to cover her bits is his shoe.
Stumbling out into the highway she manages to pull someone over "Help, my friend is stuck!" She screams. The guy looks down at the shoe and says "Ma'am, he's too far in for me to help"

I was talking to a lovely young lady and things seemed to be going really well.

Then she said "There's something I want to get out of the way right now," and she reached up and took a wig off her head, and it turned out she was as bald as a new-laid egg.
"Alopecia," she said. "It's a condition that causes hair to fall out."
"Oh," I said. "...Just on your head, or from anywhere else as well?"
"Well," she dimpled, "there's only one way to find out."
"Of course!" I said, and took out my phone. "Hey, Google..."

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