Going Away Jokes

29 going away jokes and hilarious going away puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about going away that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Going Away Short Jokes

Short going away jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The going away humour may include short moving away jokes also.

  1. Go away bee, don't bother me. A wise man once told me, if a bee is bothering you, don't swat or run away, just stand still and look right at it, because seeing is believing.
  2. Who is going to win tonight's presidential election? The Voyager Probe, speeding away from Earth at 38,000 mph.
  3. Genie: you have three wishes me: make math go away
    Genie: ok, that one's on the house
    me: yay, so I still get three wishes?
    Genie: huh?
  4. An apple a day keeps the doctor away... An orange a day keeps the plumber away...
    Basically if you throw fruit at people they go away.
  5. My relationship with my chauffer just isn't going anywhere. It feels like he's always trying to drive me away.
  6. A man tells a Rabbi that he has the desire to live forever. "What can I do?" The Rabbi said: "Go and get married."
    "Will I then live forever?" the man asked.
    "No, but the desire does go away".
  7. If you ever have to go through job applications, throw half of them away randomly You don't want to hire anyone unlucky
  8. Larry Nassar would have gotten away with it.... if it weren't for those medaling kids!
    Showerthoughts removed my original, so going for gold here.
  9. My wife asked me why I never go to Confession. I told her I just clear my browser history when I want to wash away my sins.
  10. Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer?… She kept running away from the ball!…
    (This has probably already been posted on here, but I don't really know, so I'm just going to post it…)

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Going Away One Liners

Which going away one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with going away? I can suggest the ones about running away and getaway.

  1. My doctor told me to stay away from trans fats. Guess I can't go on tumblr anymore.
  2. Where do routers go when you throw them away? A LANfill.
  3. My son is currently studying how to run away from home. He'll go far, that kid.
  4. How do you get rid of fleas? You talk to them politely,
    "Fleas go away"
  5. What do friends and snow have in common? If you pee on them, they go away
  6. I go for chubby girls because they can't run away
  7. Good friends are just like snowballs. They go away if you pee on them.
  8. Senior discounts are kind of like early going away presents
  9. Where did the flock of seagulls go for vacation? Iran, so far away.
  10. I told a wild dog to go away... It dingo anywhere.
  11. My girlfriend is the best Whenever I want her to go away I just stop imagining her
  12. I was going to tell a mean joke about EMT's but I didn't wanna get... ... carried away.
  13. How do you make a horseshoe? You tell her to go away.
  14. Rain Rain Go Away That's what all my haters say.
    -cumulonimbus clouds probably
  15. What's Hillary Clinton's favourite question? How much to make this go away?

Going Away Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about going away you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean begone jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make going away pranks.

Since I'm going away to college, my Dad sat me down to have a talk.

He said OK, Dan, you're going off to college. You're going to be living away from home, in a dorm, surrounded by beautiful girls. So I got you something from the drug store.
I said It's ok, Dad- I already know about condoms.
He's said No - anti-depressants.

Franks wife was going away...

She told him to put on a clean pair of socks everyday,
After 7 days he couldn't fit his shoes on.

When I went off to college my parents threw a great going away party...

...according to the letter they sent.

I gave my friend a really tight sports bra as a going away present.

It was just my way of saying spanks for the mammaries.

Out of desperation, I robbed a bank dressed as a frog and being a novice, the cops caught me right away. I thought I was going away to the big house for a very long time, but surprisingly, the judge was lenient and let me go...

...because it was the first time I had ever Kermitted a crime.

What does a pirate tell his dog before going away on a long journey?

Arr! Prepare to be boarded!

My dog's pace of wiggling his tail depends on how long I have been away. Longer I am away, faster he wiggles his tail.

So I am going away for a year now because I want to see him fly.

Looks like I'm going away for a while without internet access

tell my wifi love her.

I'm going away for life because of armed robbery.

I can finally afford my dream ski house in Switzerland

My housemate is going away to Oslo.

He asked if I wanted to come along but I said Norway.

Doctor to patient - We have finally figured out

Why your pain isn't going away.
Patient - why?
Doctor - Even though these pills are called analgesics, they are supposed to be taken by mouth.

What did the relativist do before leaving town?

He gave his family going away gifts.

The Parrot

Every day, a woman walks by a pet store with a Parrot on a perch right outside the door, and as she walks by the parrot says, "'re ugly", or some other kind of insult about her looks.
She finally got tired of it and went in and told the owner, "Your parrot insults me every time I pass your store. I'm going away for two weeks and when I get back, if he insults me one more time I'm going to do something I may regret." The shopkeeper tells her..."I'm so sorry. I promise, he'll never insult you again"
Two weeks later, she's walking toward the shop all angry expecting the parrot to insult her...she gets close and they lock eyes...and the parrot says; "YOU know".

jokes about going away