Gods Jokes

Funniest Gods Short Jokes

Short gods jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The gods humour may include short god created jokes also.

1. Call me a racist if you want, but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption and stupidity I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. Thank god I live in Canada
2. I used to be Christian.... Her: I used to be Christian.
   Him: It's all right, I don't really care for those sorts of things.
   Her; Thank god! It's so much better now that I'm Christine!
3. Why did God make man before He made woman? Because he didn't want any advice on how to do it.
4. In the beginning there was nothing. God said "Let there be light!" There was still nothing, but now you could see it.
5. C and C++ walk into a bar... After a few hours, C gets sloppy drunk and spills its drink all over C++. Outraged, C++ shouts, "good God C! Have you no class??"
6. I asked my wife So, do you think the cup is half full or half empty? And you know what she said? Please for the love of god could you stop wearing my bras!
7. As God created this human child, God asked him... "How about an extra chromosome?"
   The child replied, "I'd be down for that."
8. A man walks into his bedroom carrying a sheep. His wife looks horrified... "See? See what I have to bang when you're not in the mood?"
   The sheep says "Myyyyyyyy god. You weren't lying..."
9. My girlfriend said to me the other day, "Why did God give women periods with cramp pains, and men nothing?" I laughed and replied, "Don't be silly, he gave us women."
10. After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "what are you going to do now?" God said,
    "I think I'm going to call it a day."

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Gods One Liners

Which gods one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with gods? I can suggest the ones about god hates and god creation.

1. If Mary gave birth to Jesus and Jesus is the lamb of God... Did Mary have a little lamb?
2. What's the difference between Elon Musk and God? God doesn't think he's elon musk.
3. People treat me like a god They ignore my existence unless they need something
4. My parents treat me like a god. They dont believe in me.
5. I only believe in a God 12.5% of the time Because I'm an eighth-theist
6. My IQ test results just came in and I'm really relieved. Thank God it's negative.
7. What did the letter O say to the letter Q? "For God's sake man, put some pants on!"
8. 85%of people in America don't know basic math. Thanks God I'm from the other 25%
9. No one in here better be making any jokes about Fred Phelps' death God hates gags.
10. Why did God create Adam before he created Eve? So no one would tell him how to make Adam.
11. God initially planned to use wasps to make honey. But in the end, he went with plan Bee.
12. So God, a Jew and a zombie walk into a bar... The bartender says, "Hey Jesus"
13. There is no God -Stephen Hawking, 2011 There is no Stephen hawking God, 2018
14. My girlfriend treats me like a god Now if I can only get her to stop being an atheist.
15. Girls treat me like God They mostly forget I exist until they need help from me.

Norse Gods Jokes

Here is a list of funny norse gods jokes and even better norse gods puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What do you call a Norse god who doesn't draw much attention to themselves? Low Key.......!
• Puns about Norse gods... are Loki the best.
• 4 Norse Gods, 1 Roman God, and 2 Astrological bodies walk into a bar. The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke.
• Bad joke incoming 4 Norse gods, 1 roman god, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar. The bartender says "This is gonna be a week joke"
• If I were a homosexual Norse god... I'd keep it Loki.
• Why is the Norse god of thunder Thor? Because he forgot hith thaddle
• I never told anyone about my date with a norse God. They wanted to keep it Loki.
• I saw a Norse god discreetly playing 49Hz notes on a piano in space... I thought to myself: "What a low G low G low key low key Loki."
• Wednesday and Thursday were named after the Norse Gods Odin and Thor... And if you really enjoy facts about Norse Gods then today is your Loki-day!
• what's it called when you're secretly a norse god? you're low key loki

Egyptian Gods Jokes

Here is a list of funny egyptian gods jokes and even better egyptian gods puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What do you call an inexperienced Egyptian God? Anoobis
• Tesla is considering releasing a line of electric buses named after Egyptian gods. It'll be A-new-bus.
• What do you call an egyptian god with a photographic memory? Cam-Ra
• I LOVE ISIS She's my favorite Egyptian god
• What's the difference between a decrepit rickety bus and the Egyptian god of death? One is an old bus and the other is Anubis.
• What is Lady Gaga's favourite Egyptian God? RA - RA - RA RA RA!
  Kinda works better if someone says it to you.
• I just got a job as an Egyptian god. Now I'm Set for life.
• What do you call an egyptian sun god with a colombian accent? ShakiRA
• Why does the Egyptian god Ra own every Periodic Table? Because his name is on them.
• What did the ancient Egyptian cheerleader chant? "THERE IS ONE GOD, HE IS THE SUN GOD! RA! RA! RA!"

Roman Gods Jokes

Here is a list of funny roman gods jokes and even better roman gods puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I'm getting a new puppy in a few days. Gonna name him after the Roman God Stimulus.
• What did the Roman say when the Greek accused him of stealing his gods? It was all a myth-take!
• (A joke from the ancient Romans) The Christians are so Poor! How Poor are they? The Christians are so Poor, they Only Have ONE GOD!
• What do you call a greedy roman god? Jewpiter.
• Romans were rich, Romans had feasts! But for the love of god stay away from their priests!

Greek Gods Jokes

Here is a list of funny greek gods jokes and even better greek gods puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My friend says he has the body of a Greek God... I had to explain to him Buddha wasn't Greek
• My wife said I look like a Greek god. Her actual words were "Put your clothes on, we're in a museum" but I know what she meant.
• My friend told me he had the body of a Greek God... I informed him Buddha was not Greek.
• Happy Greek Easter! Which Greek God loved to collect animals? Zoos
• Dated a Greek god, now I have cold sores Thanks a lot, Herpules
• Why don't Greek gods insult people anymore? Because Icarus already had the sickest burn.
• What do you call a Greek god who wants to lose weight? A Diety
• I've been told I have the body of a Greek God. Too bad it's Dionysus
• I don't always joke about stillborn Greek gods... ...but when I do, it's all about dead Pan delivery.
• Why was the Greek God Apollo named that? Because he was a chicken

Cheerful Gods Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!

What funny jokes about gods you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean goddess jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make gods pranks.