Goddammit Jokes
19 goddammit jokes and hilarious goddammit puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about goddammit that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Goddammit Short Jokes
Short goddammit jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The goddammit humour may include short jesus christ jokes also.
- As long as I live I'll never forget my father's last words to me... g**... BOY BE CAREFUL THAT THING'S LOADED!
- Apparently the iPhone 7 has console-like graphics. g**..., when are they going to start to put good hardware in these phone.
- If I had a dollar for every time someone called me s**..., I would have... one, two... three... fi- g**...!
One... - "Hey, Gerry, give me a joke." "I used your toothbrush to clean the toilet."
"And the punchline is?"
"Jokes are half-meant."
"g**..., Gerry!" - My priest constantly talks about vegetables during mass. Father, lettuce does NOT pray g**...!
- A lazy Mexican walks into an even lazier black man's bar.... g**... SOMEBODY FINISH THIS JOKE!!
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Goddammit One Liners
Which goddammit one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with goddammit? I can suggest the ones about god almighty and gosh.
- For English learners... - Hey, how do I look?
- With your eyes, g**...! - A b**... was praying to God, and said... Oh g**...
- v v
g**..., my control key is broken. - My girlfriend has a great body.. of literature. g**....
Uproarious Goddammit Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about goddammit you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jeez jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make goddammit pranks.
*Phone rings at work*
Boss: Why don't you answer it?
Me: I'll let it ring for a while. That way they'll think I have other stuff to do than talk on the phone.
Boss: ANSWER IT g**...!
Me: 911, what's the emergency?
"Dad, i'm a lesbian."
Confesses the daughter.
Her younger sister shouts from the kitchen "Me too dad."
"g**..." Exclaims the father. "Will one of you bring a man to this house!?"
"I will, Dad." Says the son from his room.
A priest and a farmer are playing a round of golf.
On the first hole, the priest clasps his hands, says a prayer and shoots a hole-in-one.
When it's the farmers turn, he shoots and the ball ends up in the woods.
The farmer is furious and screams: "g**... I missed".
The priest tells him "If you curse one more time, god will punish you".
On the second hole, the priest clasps his hands, says a prayer and shoots another hole-in-one.
When it's the farmers turn, he shoots and this ball also ends up in the woods.
He screams "g**... I missed"
A loud rumble is heard and lightning strikes the *priest*.
Shortly after, a voice is heard from above the clouds saying "g**... I missed"
This is My "classic" joke
A Catholic Priest, a Rabbi, and an Atheist walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Oh g**..., no! We don't like jokes in here and if you guys are a part of one, you're gonna have to leave right now!" So the catholic priest, rabbi, and atheist leave the bar and a chicken walks in. The bartender says, "OH COME ON! We don't serve CHICKENS in here!" The chicken says, "Do you know somewhere that does?" The bartender says, "Yeah.." The chicken asks, "Well, where is it?" The bartender says, "It's across the road."
An old one: A rabbi and a priest go golfing, but the rabbi keeps missing his shots.
Whenever this happens, he angrily exclaims, g**..., I missed! At each hole, the rabbi swears, and at each hole, the priest shakes his head. Finally, on the final hole, the exasperated priest declares, Rabbi, if you continue with this disrespect for the Lord's name, so help me, may He strike you down right here on the green. The rabbi swings, misses, and swears. Suddenly, a lightning bolt descends and incinerates the priest. A heavenly voice then cries out, g**..., I missed!
Uptime
Two techies are in a restaurant discussing how to get out of an overpriced hosting contract. As the waitress approaches the table, one emphatically says to the other, "Yes, g**..., I want the server to go down on us!"
A man with wide open arms
One evening a woman was coming back home when she saw a man at the end of the street moving towards her with wide open arms and a vacant stare , she panicked ,picked up a rock and threw at him while running away .The man stood up shaking his head and exclaimed "g**... ,it's the 4th window this hour, my boss is going to kill me"
A priest is playing golf with a sailor.
The sailor uses salty language each time he misses. "g**..., I missed!"
The priest warns him not to curse in God's name.
The sailor misses again. "g**... I missed!"
The priest cautions him again.
The sailor misses a third time. "g**... I missed!"
The skies open up and the hand of God casts down a bolt of furious vengeance which completely obliterates... the priest.
The sailor looks up into the sky.
A booming voice from heaven says "g**..., I missed!"
