The Best 13 Goddammit Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Goddammit jokes. There are some goddammit dayum jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these goddammit goddamnit puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Goddammit Jokes and Puns

*Phone rings at work*

Boss: Why don't you answer it?

Me: I'll let it ring for a while. That way they'll think I have other stuff to do than talk on the phone.


Me: 911, what's the emergency?

"Dad, i'm a lesbian."

Confesses the daughter.

Her younger sister shouts from the kitchen "Me too dad."

"Goddammit" Exclaims the father. "Will one of you bring a man to this house!?"

"I will, Dad." Says the son from his room.

As long as I live I'll never forget my father's last words to me...


Goddammit joke, As long as I live I'll never forget my father's last words to me...

A priest and a farmer are playing a round of golf.

On the first hole, the priest clasps his hands, says a prayer and shoots a hole-in-one.

When it's the farmers turn, he shoots and the ball ends up in the woods.

The farmer is furious and screams: "Goddammit I missed".

The priest tells him "If you curse one more time, god will punish you".

On the second hole, the priest clasps his hands, says a prayer and shoots another hole-in-one.

When it's the farmers turn, he shoots and this ball also ends up in the woods.

He screams "Goddammit I missed"

A loud rumble is heard and lightning strikes the *priest*.

Shortly after, a voice is heard from above the clouds saying "Goddammit I missed"

This is My "classic" joke

A Catholic Priest, a Rabbi, and an Atheist walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Oh Goddammit, no! We don't like jokes in here and if you guys are a part of one, you're gonna have to leave right now!" So the catholic priest, rabbi, and atheist leave the bar and a chicken walks in. The bartender says, "OH COME ON! We don't serve CHICKENS in here!" The chicken says, "Do you know somewhere that does?" The bartender says, "Yeah.." The chicken asks, "Well, where is it?" The bartender says, "It's across the road."


Two techies are in a restaurant discussing how to get out of an overpriced hosting contract. As the waitress approaches the table, one emphatically says to the other, "Yes, goddammit, I want the server to go down on us!"

For English learners...

- Hey, how do I look?

- With your eyes, goddammit!

Goddammit joke, For English learners...

A beaver was praying to God, and said...

Oh goddammit

Apparently the iPhone 7 has console-like graphics.

Goddammit, when are they going to start to put good hardware in these phone.

A man with wide open arms

One evening a woman was coming back home when she saw a man at the end of the street moving towards her with wide open arms and a vacant stare , she panicked ,picked up a rock and threw at him while running away .The man stood up shaking his head and exclaimed "goddammit ,it's the 4th window this hour, my boss is going to kill me"



Goddammit, my control key is broken.

You can explore goddammit damn reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean goddammit darn dad jokes. There are also goddammit puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me stupid,

I would have... one, two... three... fi- Goddammit!


"Hey, Gerry, give me a joke."

"I used your toothbrush to clean the toilet."

"And the punchline is?"

"Jokes are half-meant."

"Goddammit, Gerry!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the goddammit blimey jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working goddammit atheist piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes