God Creation Jokes
26 god creation jokes and hilarious god creation puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about god creation that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest God Creation Short Jokes
Short god creation jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The god creation humour may include short god created jokes also.
- "Am I ugly?" Boy: Am I ugly?
Girl: God has no ugly creation.
Boy: So I'm not ugly then?
Girl: I'm just not sure if you're God's creation. - Immediately following the creation of Eve, Adam says to God "Why'd you have too use my rib?"
"Oh, its symbolic. Now you have a pain in your side!" - At the moment of creation, God said he would place good people on all corners of the world. Then he went and made the world round.
- What did God tell the sloth upon its creation? You're pretty slow so here, take these claws.
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God Creation One Liners
Which god creation one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with god creation? I can suggest the ones about god allah and god gift.
- What is God's favorite TV show? Arks and Creation
- God is one of Chuck Norris's creation.
- And on the 8th day, God and Buddha looked down upon their creation. And it was Gouda.
God Creation Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about god creation you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean god almighty jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make god creation pranks.
On day six of the Creation, God announced to his archangel underlings, "Today we're creating a place called Canada.
"Today we're creating a place called Canada. Pull out all the stops. Give it beautiful mountains, lakes, plains, forests, and sandy beaches. Underground, give it oil, gold, etc. Oh, and plenty of fish and wildlife."
"Sir," interjected an archangel, "aren't you being overly generous to these Canadians?"
"Don't worry, I'll balance it out," said God. "Wait 'till you see the neighbours I'm giving them."
After God created Adam, Adam came to God and said, You created all the animals and each one has a mate, but I'm alone. Can you create me one also?
God replied, Well Adam, I can create a mate for you. It will be the crown of my creation, someone who will serve you, and your every need and desire. The most beautiful and loving creature. She will take care of you always , and give you all the respect that is deserving of you. The only thing is, it will cost you an arm and a leg.
Adam thought for a second and said, What do you got for a rib?
God said to Gabriel:
"I've finally finished my masterpiece. Beautiful mountains, spectacular lochs, and whisky - the most amazing drink in my creation. I shall call this land 'Scotland'"
"That sounds fantastic" Gabriel said. "What have the people of this land done to deserve all this?"
"Well" said God. "Wait til you see the neighbours they're getting"
The Story of Creation as told by Dog
On the first day of creation, God created the dog.
On the second day, God created man to serve the dog.
On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth (especially the horse) to serve as potential food for the dog.
On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the dog.
On the fifth day, God created the tennis ball so that the dog might or might not retrieve it.
On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the dog healthy, and the man broke.
On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to walk the dog.
So Adam is sitting in the Garden of Eden...
... and he says, "God, I see that all of the other animals that you have created in this truly perfect world have a companion, a partner, someone to be with, share life with, and to love. Why is it that I am alone?" God pauses for a moment, and says "You know Adam, I'll work on that. Be patient, my son, I shall return to you in a week's time."
God labors for a week as only a being of such incredible omnipotence can labor, and after much exhausting work, he returns to Adam after a week has passed and reveals to him his creation.
Adam is speechless. After much gaping, he finally finds the words to say "God, she is beautiful, she is truly your most perfect creation. I must ask though, what will this cost me, for surely this cannot be free."
God says soberly "My son. I confess, to have a being of such beauty and grace, you must give me an arm and a leg. I can accept no other payment."
Adam weighs this for a moment, and then says, "How much can I get for a rib?"
Gabriel ask god have about his latest creation
what is this?
"its human"
what is that 2 round thing?
"it's called eyes, so they can see my other creations"
and this thing?
"it's called hands, so they can create things just like i did"
and this?
"it's toe, for the furniture"
what furniture?
"trust me, it will be hilarious"
So, the God decides he needs a vacation...
He goes to meet his travel agent:
"We have a special on Andromeda, Cthulu resort." - Nah it's way too hot...
"How'bout skiing in Pillars Of Creation?" - Maybe something cheaper, this time?
"Well, You may try the Earth, Solar System new Spa, great price".
- ... Been there like 2000 years ago, mate, made one chick pregnant.
They still keep talking about this...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Archangel Michael has just created a duck-goose with giant teeth and wants to show his magnificent creation to God.
He comes to God's presence and says: "look what beauty I made, I'm just not sure where to put it"
God thinks for a moment and says: "how about you put it in Australia with all the other nonsense you've created."
EVOLUTION VS. CREATIONISM
A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"
The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.."
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question..
The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"
The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.
The creation of the woman.
When Adam roamed the garden of Eden, he saw how happy all the pairs of animals were, and he craved a partner. He prayed all day and all night, and in the end god answered his pleads and replied.
"Adam, what are you praying for?"
"Oh almighty god! I have seen the bliss of the animals of the land and wish for a partner! I want her to be beautiful like no other, smarter almost as you, loving, caring and passionate. She should be delicate and graceful like a swan, yet swift and nimble like a fox."
"You know Adam, that's gonna cost you an arm and a leg"
Adam pauses a moment to think before replying,
"What can I get for a rib?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Harley Davidson creator dies and meets God
The Creator of Harley Davidson dies and meets St Peter at the pearly gates. Peter asks him, "why would you create something like a Harley?? They're loud, unreliable, slow, never on time, and expensive. I'm going to have to take you to God to make the decision." So he takes him to God and God asks him the same question, the Harley creator's response was "well why did you create women? They're loud, unreliable, slow, never on time and expensive." God then pulls out a calculator and proceeds to punch in some numbers and responds, "just did the numbers and way more people are riding my creation."
Creationism v Feminism
In the beginning god made everything and said it was good.
Then he asked Adam, "Is there anything else you could possibly want?"
Adam replied, "I want a companion. Someone that will always be there for me. Someone that will love me, console me when I'm sad, celebrate with me when I'm happy, and stimulate me when I'm bored. I want a true soul mate."
God says "Ok... But that will cost you an arm and a leg."
Adam sighs and says "Alright then... What can I get for a rib?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Queen and Dolly Parton die on the same day...
The Queen and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and they both go before St. Peter to find out if they'll be admitted to heaven.
Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so St. Peter asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to heaven.
She takes off her top and says, "Look at these. They're the most perfect ones God ever created, and I'm proud to own them."
St. Peter thanks Dolly, and asks the Queen the same question.
She then drops her skirt and p**..., takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, shakes it up, and douches with it.
St. Peter says, "OK, Your Majesty, you may go in."
Dolly is outraged. She screams, "What was that all about? I show you two of God's own creations, she performs a disgusting hygiene act, and gets in, and I don't?!!!"
"Sorry, Dolly," says St. Peter, "But a royal flush beats a pair any day."
My friend just sent me that and it made my Friday.
Church squirrels
All five churches in a small Texas town were having a terrible problem with squirrel infestations. Predictably, they all had different ways of dealing with the problem.
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
In the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.
The Methodist church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.
The Catholic church came up with what they thought was the best and most effective solution: they baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.
Still, the Jewish synagogue beat them all: they took one squirrel and had a short service with him called a bris -- and they haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden one day and looking really glum...
So God came down to find out why.
"Adam, I have created a beautiful paradise for you, why are you unhappy?"
"Well God, Eden is great and all, but sometimes I get really lonely. I wish I had a companion of some kind to share this beautiful garden with."
"You're right Adam, you need someone to share the glory of my creation with. I am going to create a companion for you, and I shall call her Woman. She will prepare your meals for you, bathe you, and satisfy all your s**... desires. She will be the perfect companion."
Adam's eyes light up and he says, "That sounds amazing God, what's this gonna cost me?"
"An arm and a leg"
"What can I get for a rib?"
And the rest is history...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A m**... staying in an African village approached by the Chief...
The Chief says,
"Holy man, my wife just gave birth to a white child. Everyone in the village is black, except for you. "
The m**... begins to sweat until he notices a herd of goats outside.
"Chief, every once in a while, God makes his creation different from the others. Look at the goat outside. All of them are white, except for the one black one."
The chief leans into the m**...'s ear and whispers,
"I'll let you off the hook this time, but you keep quiet about goat, okay?"