God Created Jokes

115 god created jokes and hilarious god created puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about god created that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest God Created Short Jokes

Short god created jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The god created humour may include short god creation jokes also.

  1. As God created this human child, God asked him... "How about an extra chromosome?"
    The child replied, "I'd be down for that."
  2. After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "what are you going to do now?" God said,
    "I think I'm going to call it a day."
  3. When god created man Gods assistant: Is it done?
    God: Hmm, add a little toe to his foot.
    Gods assistant: Why?
    God: For furniture.
    Gods assistant: Furniture?
    God: Believe me it'll be funny
  4. God: *creates worm* Hey there little buddy! worm: Thanks for the worm welcome
    God: *creates birds*
  5. What is the purpose of war? "God created War so that Americans would learn Geography" - Mark Twain
  6. About 4,000 years ago: God: I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!
    Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note*
    God: Correction, I shall create a great flood!
  7. When God created women... He told them: "Women from all the corners of the world should have equal rights to men."
    Ironically he made the Earth round.
  8. In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.... And the rest was made in China.
  9. in the beginning God created Man and said "I have created the perfect woman and wife for you, and put her in all four corners of the globe" then he made the world round and LAUGHED.
  10. "Mom, how did humans come to exist?" "Well, you see, God created Adam and Eve..."
    "But dad said we came from apes."
    "He was talking about his family, I am telling you about mine."

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God Created One Liners

Which god created one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with god created? I can suggest the ones about god hates and gods.

  1. Why did God create Adam before he created Eve? So no one would tell him how to make Adam.
  2. Why did God create Adam before Eve? He didn't want any advice on how to do it
  3. God created the light... Then he called it a day.
  4. Why did God create man first? To give him a chance to speak...
  5. You’re the reason God created the middle finger.
  6. Why did God create war? To teach Americans Geography
  7. Men should thank god for His grammatical errors when creating us He forgot a period.
  8. Who created the first diswasher? God, and her name was Eve.
  9. God created the world but everything else is made in China
  10. Why did God create gold chains? So Italian guys would know when to quit shaving!
  11. Why did God create women? Because hopes and dreams cannot crush themselves.
  12. Why did God create Adam before Eve? To give him a chance to say something.
  13. Why did God create women? Because Y not
  14. What did God say upon creating the penguin? Well that'll never fly.
  15. Then God created Saturn and he liked it, so he put a ring on it.

God Created Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about god created you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean god allah jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make god created pranks.

In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth... After that, everything else was made in China.

Why did God create alcohol? So ugly people could have s**..., too.

Q: Why did God create women?
A: He took one look at men and said, "I know I can do better than this."

Why did God create gay men? So fat girls could dance.

God gave us the brain to work out problems. However, we use it to create more problems.

So Adam is sitting in the Garden of Eden...

... and he says, "God, I see that all of the other animals that you have created in this truly perfect world have a companion, a partner, someone to be with, share life with, and to love. Why is it that I am alone?" God pauses for a moment, and says "You know Adam, I'll work on that. Be patient, my son, I shall return to you in a week's time."
God labors for a week as only a being of such incredible omnipotence can labor, and after much exhausting work, he returns to Adam after a week has passed and reveals to him his creation.
Adam is speechless. After much gaping, he finally finds the words to say "God, she is beautiful, she is truly your most perfect creation. I must ask though, what will this cost me, for surely this cannot be free."
God says soberly "My son. I confess, to have a being of such beauty and grace, you must give me an arm and a leg. I can accept no other payment."
Adam weighs this for a moment, and then says, "How much can I get for a rib?"

Fred and John...

Fred and John are in bible school the teacher asks, "who created the world" John raises his hand and is called on, Fred pokes him with a pencil right as he is answering. John says "My God" and the teacher replies "correct", he then asks "what did Eve say after she had her 3rd baby?", John raises his hand again and is called on. As he is answering he is poked again with the the pencil, he says "If you stick that thing in me one more time I'm gonna break it!"

God creates Adam

God creates Adam and it was good. After some time God realizes Adam needs a companion and says to him, "Adam, I have decided to give you a companion. I will give you a woman who will love you and live to please you. She will be intelligent, witty, and above all beautiful. She will cook your meals, wash your clothes, and laugh at all of your jokes."
Adam couldn't believe his luck!
God says, "All this will cost you only and arm and a leg." To which Adam replies, "What can I get for a rib?"

God created everyone to be different on the outside.......

But then He got to China and became lazy.

An architect, a lawyer, and a hunter were sitting at a bar.

The three men were having a debate about whose job was the oldest.
"Obviously it's my job," bragged the hunter. "Cavemen got their food by hunting, which makes my job older than civilization."
"Yes," the architect replied, "but if you read the Bible, it says God created the universe out of darkness and chaos. This technically makes God the architect of the universe."
The lawyer simply smirked. "True, but who do you think invented darkness and chaos?"

Bad religious joke I created.

One day Jesus is talking to god and says,
"Hey dad, guess what I did today?"
God: "What?"
Jesus: "I walked on water."
God: "No way."
Jesus: "Yahweh!"
Badum, tss

White Anglo-Saxon Protestant's (WASP's)

Why did God create W.A.S.P's?
Someone has to pay full retail...

Why did god create Clint Eastwood?

Because even Chuck Norris needs a worst nightmare.

Einstein and God

*Einstein dies and goes to the front of God.*
**Einstein:** Here you are. I have a question to you.
**God:** Please.
**Einstein:** Which formula did you use while creating the the universe?
*God writes a formula on the paper and shows to Einstein.*
**Einstein:** But...There is a mistake in this formula.
**God:** I know...

Adam: God, I appreciate everything you've done for me, but this earth is kind of lonely.

God: Well Adam. I can create for you a beautiful woman who cooks and cleans and fulfills all your desires.
Adam: ooooh sounds expensive. What's it gonna cost me.
God: An arm, leg and your right nut.
Adam: What can I get for a rib?

Do you know why God created atheists?

Haha. Good one.

God created only man...

Then the woman began to complain that they also wanted to be created, so god compromised...and created woman.

While creating husbands, God promised....

While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world...............then He made the earth round, and laughed and laughed and laughed.

Why God never got a PhD

1. He had only one major publication.
2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English.
3. It has no references.
4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal.
5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing.
10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from
the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book.
13. Some say he had his son to teach the class.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students
failed his tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

Why did God create Adam before Eve?

To let him get a word in.

An angel walks in to God's office while He's creating the world...

and sees God drawing on his notepad a roundish thing with two eyes, a nose and a mouth. The angel says "Hi God, what are you doing?"
"I'm working on the human being," says God,
"But that's not due until the sixth day, today's only the third!"
"I know, I'm just planning a head!"

iphone designer seeks help from god

* *iphone7 designer*:your highness show us the path to create the most unique and powerful phone the world will ever see
* *God*:arrg,why don't you just **j**...!!!**
* designer:wow,that could really work

So God creates Adam...

...and soon after he notices that Adam is lonely.
God says "Do not fear, my child. For I will create a partner to accompany you and man from this time forth. She will be known, as a woman."
God continues "She will be obedient, loyal, passionate and nurturing."
Adam hesitates..
"What is this gonna cost me?" Adam asks.
God responds "An arm and a leg."
Adam retorts "What can I get for a rib?"

"Mom, where did people come from?"

"God created us"
"But Dad said we came from monkeys"
"Dad told you about his side of the family. I am telling you about mine"

A boy pokes a girl with a pin at church

The church priest asks the girl a question "who is our lord and savior?" *the boy stabs her with the pin* she yells "JESUS CHRIST" the priest says "good good, who created us" *the boy stabs her again* she yells "GOD ALMIGHTY" the priest says "good good, now, what did Eve say to Adam after they had their 42nd child?" *he stabs her again* the girl screams "IF YOU PUT THAT THING IN MY ONE MORE TIME IM GONNA SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR t**...!" The priest faints..

So a scientist creates a robot

And he asks the robot, "can you feel pain"
The robot says, "yes however not like a normal human, I feel everything deeper and in slow motion."
"my god that's horrible that can't be true!"
"You're correct it isn't true, however we do have a dark sense of humor."

Adam's discussion with God

So Adam is walking around the Garden of Eden and he calls out to God that he's kinda bored and lonely. He asks God if he can create someone who is kind and admires and serves him(Adam) in every way. God responds He can, but it's going to cost an arm and a leg, so Adam asks what he can get for a rib.

A Catholic Priest told this joke at a Wedding.

Adam woke up in the Garden of Eden. After a while of wandering around he became sad. God came to him and asked "Adam, why are you sad? I have created this amazing garden for you." Adam replies, "Why does every other being have mate and I do not?" God replies " Very well I will create for you a perfect mate. But it will cost you an arm and a leg." Adam thinks for a bit and then replies "What can I get for a rib?"

When the God created Adam...

He realised that Adam was imperfect.
Then God created FRANK!

Why did God create the moon and stars on the eighth day?

After spending a day with Eve, Adam begged God for some space

So, little jonny came back from the church...

and asked his mom: "Mom, is god man or a woman".
Mom didn't want to spoil his mind so she said: "Both."
Little jonny went to his room and thought for sometime.
He came back and asked her: "Mom, is god black or white".
Again, the mom didn't want any controversy so she said: "Both."
Jonny again went back to his room and thought for sometime.
Then he came back and asked: "Mom, is god a straight or gay?"
Again, mom didn't want to create any controversy, so again she said: "Both."
This time jonny went to his room and thought really hard.
He came back and said: "Mom I finally figured it out. michael jackson is god"

How do you know that donut is created by God

It's holy

God finishes creating the man

His angel assistant asks him: "Are we done"?
God says: "Yes. Wait, actually, no. Just add another little toe to his feet."
Assistant: "Why?"
God: "For home furniture."
Assistant: "Furniture?"
God: "Trust me, it's going to be hillarious."

I believe god created the earth solely to amuse himself.

I am a Recreationist.

If humans are created in the image of god,

then we should be invisible.


God: (creates cheesecake)
God: (While stuffing his face in front of the angels) Oh wow! This is so great!
Angel: Don't you think you should be sharing that?
God:(creates lactose intolerance)

What did God give man when he created trigonometric math?

He gave man a sine.

Why does god stay in heaven..

He's ashamed of what he has created.

God was creating all the countries and it was Canada's turn

He turned to his angels and said "this country will have unmatched beauty, plenty of natural resources, and its citizens will be the happiest and friendliest in the world"
The angels ask God, "aren't you blessing this country a little TOO much?" and God replies, "wait till you see who their neighbour is"

God was creating the countries when it became Brazil's turn

God: This land will be a land filled with natural resources, the women will be beautiful, there will be no hurricanes or tornados, they will also have a lot of forests.
The angels were thinking this was a little too much and asked God, Isn't this a little too good?
God calmly answered: Wait for their politicians

Christian to an athiest : if god doesn't exist who created the universe

Atheist : well i don't know for sure but it might be just there from the starting
Christian : Don't be s**... god created the universe
Atheist : so who created god
Christian : no one did he was there from the starting

I created an MS word file and named it "ME"

Now, I hope God will save ME.

When did God created Battle Royale games?

The fourth night

When God created the animals, He realized the sea creatures needed more work.

They were just beta fish

Why did God create Adam first and Eve as second?

Q: Why did God create Adam first and Eve as second?

A: Because he wasn't interested in listening to anyone telling him how to make Adam.

Why did God created woman after creating man?

He thought he could do better.

Why can't God create another God?

Because it's human job.

Adam was feeling a bit lonely in the garden of Eden

"Hey, God. I'm bored! I'm lonely, I have no one to talk to
The animals are great and all, but I need someone to share all of this with"
"Very well, I shall create for you the perfect companion.
a **woman**!
She will be smart, will make you laugh, she will love you, and you her for eternity.
But you will have to give up a leg and an arm"
what can you give me for a rib?"

In the beginning, God created man.

Then, seeing man was lonely, God created woman, that man could feel his loneliness more keenly.

Angel Gabriel approached God

What are you doing there? he asked.
Well said God, You know this planet I've been creating?
Yeah, what of it?
I've discovered that I can cause it to rotate in space, and given the position of that star I made earlier; Sol, it allows, in the most part, for a 24hr period of alternating light and dark.
Oh, that's pretty cool. So what now then?
To be honest, I think I'm gonna call it a day.

GOD: "Hey, let's make Vampires REAL. . .!"

God: "They shall drink BLOOD!"
God: "They shall be responsible for the DEATHS of more humans in history than any other creature!"
God: ". . . And they can FLY!"
God: . . .But let's troll them so they can only make annoying high pitched whiny noises
God: . . .And are only 1/2" tall. At most.

\*Creates Mosquito\*

What did God say after he created the Japanese?


God is talking to one of his angels and says

Do you know what I have just done? I have just created a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness on Earth. Isn't that good?
The angel says, Yes, but what will you do now?
God says, I think I'll call it a day.

This is not a racist joke, i will use France, you can put whichever country you like instead

First, God created Britain, then the British.
After Britain, God created Spain, then the Spanish.
After Spain, God created France. The British and Spanish objected because France was much more beautiful than their countries.
Then God created the French.

God wanted to make sure that every man would get s**... at least once in his life

So he created mosquitoes

After God created Adam, Adam came to God and said, You created all the animals and each one has a mate, but I'm alone. Can you create me one also?

God replied, Well Adam, I can create a mate for you. It will be the crown of my creation, someone who will serve you, and your every need and desire. The most beautiful and loving creature. She will take care of you always , and give you all the respect that is deserving of you. The only thing is, it will cost you an arm and a leg.
Adam thought for a second and said, What do you got for a rib?

I read a news story recently about a large group of secretive gay vigilantes who founded a temple to the god of sailing that moonlights as a b**... club.

The headline read
"Masked Masc for Masc Masses create Mast Mass for Masochists"

God was handing out talents one morning

To some, He gave the power to create life. The angels around Him were in awe as crops flourished and population soared. To others, he gave fine skills and artistry. His angelic entourage marveled at intricate needlework, tapestry, and sculpture.
God stooped down low and found a man waiting in the darkness, just before dawn. He gave him the power to sprinkle water on the grass as the sun rose. The angels were confused. "You gave amazing abilities to all others. Can this one really care for himself with such a small talent?"
God simply replied, "He will learn to make dew."

A man is praying to God and asks "God, how is it you created all this in 7 days?"

God replied, "well, you see time is different for you and me. A million years in human time is only a second in time for me. I created everything in 7 days my time, not yours, so the time frame is much greater than interpreted."
"Oh my God, that is ncredible!" the man exclaimed. "So what, like a penny to you is a million dollars for us?"
"Um, yeah, kinda. Something like that...." God says
"Well, in that case, can I just have a penny, God?" The man shoots his shot
"Sure" God agrees, much to the surprise of the man. "Just gimme a second to find it...."

Adam is in the Garden of Eden and is feeling lonely. So he asks God for someone to share his existence with.

God answers of course, I can create a being that will support you no matter what you do, provide for you, and never argue .
Adam is excited and asks that sounds perfect, what will it cost me
An arm and a leg
….what can I get for a rib?