God Allah Jokes
30 god allah jokes and hilarious god allah puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about god allah that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest God Allah Short Jokes
Short god allah jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The god allah humour may include short god created jokes also.
- My buddy and I have a picture of the Islamic God on the smart card inside our mobile phones. We're very SIM Allah.
- Game night God and Jesus had a game night and suddenly the bell rang. Jesus went to open it and at the door was Allah. Jesus took a long look at him and shouted "Dad, did you order pizza?"
- I am pretty sure allah is the only god After all, the universe did start with a big e**....
- After years of debate, it turns out Allah is actually the one true God. After all, the universe began with an e**....
- I really believe that Allah is the one true god I mean the universe started with an e**... didnt it?
- I really do believe Allah is the one true god I mean the universe was created by an e**... wasn't it?
- When you think about it, Allah is probably the one true god... the universe did start with an e**...
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God Allah One Liners
Which god allah one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with god allah? I can suggest the ones about god almighty and god creation.
- Allah must be the only God in the universe I mean, Earth was created with a Big Bang
- Maybe Allah is the real god. I mean, the universe did start off with a boom.
- What dinosaur is also the Muslim god? The Allah-saurus.
- Proof that Allah is the true God because the universe started with an e**...
- Why "Allah" is the true God The universe started with an e**...
Allau Akbar - Allah is definitely the true god... Because the universe was made by an e**...
God Allah Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about god allah you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean allahu akbar jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make god allah pranks.
From the Gallipoli campaign in World War I...
The Australians are interrogating a captured Turkish soldier, when finally poor Mehmet has a question for them.
"Why do you call God such awful names? Why do you curse Him when your soldiers go into battle?"
The Aussies were surprised. "What do you mean?"
"Well, when we Turks leap out of our trenches and charge your lines, we cry 'Allah! Allah!' But when you charge us, you shout b**... BASTAAARRRDD!!!'"
Not for you
A Christian Armenian man walking by the border of Armenia and Iran sees a few Iranian men pushing a car stuck in a ditch. Every time the Iranian men push they yell allah akbar! 1.. 2... 3... Allah akbarrr! As the Armenian man joins in pushing the car, the Iranians are surprised to hear the Christian man also yell allah akbar. One Iranian man says allah is our god not yours, why do you call on his name? The Armenian man replies "I'm not going to work my god for your a**..."
A long time ago, in the middle east
There was a town where everyone worshipped many gods. But one day, a young boy arrived from afar, claiming to be a prophet sent by Allah. He told them to convert to Islam, or else they would receive divine punishment.
Naturally, the townspeople rejected his words, and they executed him in public. Mere days later, a mysterious disease swept through the town and killed every last one of them.
They should have obeyed the Quran teen.
The Walk
I went to a mixed religion seminar.
The Christian Priest came, laid his hands on my hand and said, By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!
I smiled and told him I was not paralysed.
The Rabbi came, laid his hands on my hand and said, By the will of God Almighty, you will walk today!
I was less amused when I told him there was nothing wrong with me.
The Mullah came, took my hands and said, Insha Allah, you will walk today!
I snapped at him, There's nothing wrong with me
The Buddhist Monk came, held my hands and said, By the will of The Great Buddha, you will walk today!
I rudely told him there was nothing wrong with me.
After the sermons, I stepped outside and found my car had been stolen.
How did the priest make people pray ?
A priest was on a flight, back to his country. He thought about the fact that people were losing their religion and not praying anymore. But he wanted them to remember god... and an idea popped up in his mind.
So he stood up in the plane and screamed : 'Allah Akbar'.
That day, everyone on the plane prayed.
A Christian, Buddhist and Muslim had a bet whose God is real
So they decided to climb on a 50 store building, jump and see who'll survive.
First goes the Muslim, he jumps and starts praying "Allah Allah Allah Allah" and he died
Next one was a Buddhist, he jump and started saying "Buddha Buddha Buddha Buddha" and he survived
So in the end the Christian jumped and started praying "Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus"
After 10 floors even more "Jesus Jesus"
After 30 floors "Jesus Jesus"
Last 20 floors "Buddha Buddha Buddha"
Muslim, Christian and a Buddhist
A Muslim a Christian and a Buddhist argue about which god is real, so they decide to jump of a cliff and prove the other wrong.
The Christian goes first.
On his way down he says " Jesus Jesus Jesus " and dies on impact
The Buddhist goes second.
On his way down he says " Buddha Buddha Buddha" and floats right before he hits the ground, he is left unscratched.
The Muslim with full confidence jumps after the Buddhist.
On his way down he says "Allah Allah "and then midway screams "BUDDHA BUDDHA BUDDHA "
Praise the Lord and pass me my walking shoes
The preacher laid his hands on my head and said, Praise Jesus, today you will walk!
"But... but I'm not paralyzed."
The Rabbi came, laid his hands on my hand and said, By the will of God Almighty, you will walk today!
The Mullah came, took my hands and said, Insha Allah, you will walk today!
The Hindu sadhu came and said "Beta, you will walk on your legs today."
The Buddhist Monk came, held my hands and said, By the will of The Great Buddha, you will walk today!
I stepped outside and found my car had been stolen.
Intrepid Engineer
A Christian, a Muslim, and an engineer are sentenced to die at the guillotine.
The Christian goes first but when the executioner pulls the lever to release the blade, the blade suddenly stops halfway down the track with a loud "boing."
"Praise the Lord," the Christian exults, "who in his divine grace has saved me!" The executioner, impressed, tells him he is free to leave.
Next up, the Muslim puts his head in the machine and the executioner pulls the lever. Again, the blade stops abruptly halfway down. "There is no god but Allah," the Muslim cries, "who in his infinite mercy has saved me!" The executioner sets him free, too.
Meanwhile, the engineer has been peering attentively up at the guillotine. "I think I see your problem," he says.
Help with joke
3 terrorists are about to behead an infidel.
The first one says god is great. God is great. We will kill this infidel and Allah will bless us with 72 Virgins.
The second says. God is great god is great. We will kill this infidel and Allah will bless us with untold riches.
The third t**... takes out a cellphone and starts dialing really fast.
The two others are looking at him and asking him what he is doing?
So the guy goes:
God is great god is great. My passport just came in and now I can go to Iraq and fight the U.S.
How is that great? We have work to do here?
More money, more virgins. You do the math.
Math? Kill the infidel, he's a Jew.
A muslim, buddhist and a Christian were arguing...
about whose God was the greatest.
The muslim said "I will throw myself off this cliff and my God will save me." So he threw himself off the cliff, closed his eyes and shouted "allah allah allah allah..." until he realised he was fast approaching the ground. He started to panic and shouted louder and faster "ALLAHALLAHALLAHALLAH!!!" all the way until he hit the ground and died.
Next, the Buddhist said, "I will throw myself off this cliff and my God will save me." So he threw himself off the cliff, closed his eyes and shouted "buddha buddha buddha buddha..." until he realised he was fast approaching the ground. He started to panic and shouted louder and faster "BUDDHABUDDHABUDDHA!!!" and a great big hand came down from the sky and caught him safely.
Lastly, the Christian proclaimed "I will throw myself off this cliff and my God will save me." So he threw himself off the cliff, closed his eyes and shouted "Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus..." until he looked down and realised he was fast approaching the ground. He started to panic and started shouting at the top of his voice "BUDDHABUDDHABUDDHABUDDHA!!!"