goat Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious goat puns

What's the smallest organ in a goat?

An ISIS member's penis.

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What do you get if you insert human DNA into a goat?

Banned from the zoo.

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My great Grandpa Randy was a brick layer...

He said, "I was a brick layer for 20 years and no one called me 'Randy the brick layer.'

Then I farmed for 25 year and no one called me 'Randy the farmer.'

But you fuck just one goat.

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Why was the Muslim rubbing the goat?

Not because he was in to bestiality, you Islamophobe.

He was at the petting zoo for his wife's 9th birthday

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There were 3 blondes walking on a trail...

The first blonde said "Those look like deer tracks!"

The second blonde said "No those are totally moose tracks... "

The third blonde said "Nope, they are goat tracks!"

Then a train hit them

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Some people think filling animals with helium is wrong...

I don't judge. Whatever floats your goat.

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A goat, a drum, and a rattlesnake fall down a cliff...

ba dum tss

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Condoms

1272AD - Arab Muslims invent the first condoms using the lower intestine of goats.

1856AD - English farmers improve on the idea by first removing the intestine from the goat.

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What do you get when you cross human DNA and goat DNA?

Thrown out of the petting zoo

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What happens when you mix human DNA with goat DNA?

You get kicked out of the petting zoo.

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Some people say filling animals with helium is wrong

but i say, whatever floats your goat

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What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat?

...banned from the zoo. (Learned that the hard way)

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A goat, a drum, and a snake fell off a cliff..

Baa- dum- ssss

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If you buy a goat for $10 and named him Mohammed, then sell it for $15.

Did you make a prophet?

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In 1272, the Muslims invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.

In 1873, the British refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.

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In the 15th century the Arabs invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.

In the 18th century the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.

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A goat, a drum and a snake fall off a cliff.

Bah dum tss!

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What do you get when you inject human DNA into a goat?

Kicked out of the petting zoo.

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What's the smallest organ in a goat?

An ISIS members' dick.

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What's the shortest organ in a goat?

An ISIS member's dick.

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Guy walks into his bedroom with a goat under his arm...

He says, "This is the pig I fuck when you're not around.

His wife says, "You dumb asshole, that's a goat, not a pig."

He shoots back, "Who the hell did you think I was talking to?"

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In 1839 an Arab man made the first condom

The condom was made of goat intestines. In 1844, a British scientist revolutionized the condom by removing the intestines from the goat first

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Since there have been a few math jokes lately...

Q1. What do you get if you cross a mountain lion with a mountain goat?

A1. ||mountain lion|| ||mountain goat|| sin θ


Q2. What do you get when you cross a mountain lion with a mountain climber?

A2. You can't - the mountain climber is a scalar.

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Condoms were invented by Arabic-Muslims sometime in the 1400s using lower goat intestine

They were later improved by the British in 1873 by taking the intestine out of the goat first

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In 1272, Arabic Muslims invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine.

In 1873, the British refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.

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You know what really gets my goat?

Chupacabras.

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Two friends are driving along the road

When they see a goat with its head stuck in a fence. They pull over, and the driver gets out, goes over to goat pulls down his pants and fucks the goat. When he is done he gets back in the car and the passenger turns to him and says "you know, that actually looks like a lot of fun." The drive tells him to go give it a shot. So the passenger gets out, walks over to the goat and sticks his head in the fence.

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Two goats were behind a Hollywood movie studio eating an old movie film.

One goat said to the other, "Pretty good, huh?"
The second goat said, "Yeah, but not as good as the book".

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What do you get...

What do you get when you try to inject Human DNA into a goat?

Banned from the petting zoo, apparently.

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How did the Muslim find the goat in the field?

Very Satisfying.

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People tell me filling animals with helium is bad..

But i say whatever floats your goat.

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How does an Arab farmer find his goat in the sand dunes?

Very satisfying.

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2 goats were found to have dyslexia after turning up to a toga party.

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Some say putting helium in animals is wrong.

I say whatever floats your goat.

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The teacher tells little Jack, "I'm going to describe an animal and you have to guess what it is."

"It lives on a farm and gives milk"
"A cow?"
"That's correct too, but I meant a goat. What lives on a farm, has feathers and lays eggs?"
"A chicken"
"That's correct too but I meant a duck."
Little Jack, getting annoyed, asks the teacher: "What goes into your mouth hard, and comes out soft and wet?"
The teacher starts blushing.
"That's correct too but I meant chewing gum."

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What are the most funny Goat jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Goat? Well, here are the best Goat dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Goat pick up lines to share with friends.

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