The Best 21 Goals Scored Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Goals Scored jokes. There are some goals scored jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these goals scored puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Goals Scored Jokes and Puns

A guy walks into a bar with his pet dog

The bartender says, "No pets allowed." The man replies, "This is a special dog. Turn on the Browns game and you'll see. Whenever the Browns score, my dog does flips." The Browns keep scoring field goals, and the dog keeps flipping and jumping. "Wow! What happens when the Browns score a touchdown?"
The man replies, "I don't know. I've only had him for 7 years."

A guy walks into a bar with his pet dog......

A guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. The bartender says, "No pets allowed."

The man replies, "This is a special dog. Turn on the Jets game and you'll see. Whenever the Jets score, my dog does flips."

The Jets keep scoring field goals, and the dog keeps flipping and jumping.

"Wow! What happens when the Jets score a touchdown?"

The man replies, "I don't know. I've only had him for 7 years."

Jets Fan

A guy walks into a bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a Jets jersey helmet and is holding Jets pom poms.

The bartender says,"Hey! No pets allowed in here! You'll have to leave!"

The man begs, "Look I'm desperate. We're both big fans, my TV is broken, and this is the only place we can see the game!"

After securing a promise that the dog will behave and warning him that if there is any trouble they will be thrown out, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game.

The game begins with the Jets receiving a kickoff. They march down field stop at the 30,and kick a field goal. With that the dog jumps up on the bar and begins walking up and down the bar giving everyone a high-five.

The bartender says,"Wow that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if they score a touchdown?"

"I don't know," replies the owner, "I've only had him for four years."

A Jets fan walks into a bar with his dog.

The bartender says, "Hey bud, no pets allowed in here."

The man says, "But wait! This is a special dog, you have to turn on the game to see. When the Jets score, my dog does flips!"

Sure enough, when the bartender turns on the game, the Jets make a few field goals and the dog starts flipping and jumping after each kick.

"Wow," said the bartender, amazed, "that's great! What does he do when they score a touchdown?"

"I don't know, I've only had him for two years."

I brought my girlfriend to watch one of my soccer matches. When an opponent was about to score a goal, she stormed the field and prevented it with her bare hands.

She's a keeper.


2 Poles are watching a Football game...

There is an attack by one team and the first Polish dude says:

-I bet you 20 bucks he will not score

-You are on - Replies the second one.

The attack goes through and the person scores. So the the first
pole reaches for his wallet, but the second one stops him saying:

-I cheated a little, this is a rerun I knew he'd score, keep your money.

-I also watched the game before, though I am still surprised the goalie let the same goal happen twice.

How many Polish soccer players does it take to score a goal?

2: One polish player to score the goal, and one polish goal keeper to try to stop him.

My dog does back-flips when the Raiders kick a field goal.......

my buddy asked me what he does when they score a touch-down and I told him I didn't know, I've only had him for 6 years.

Chewbacca's son enters his first hockey season

Chewbacca's son enters his first hockey season this year. With his impressive skating abilities and the number of goals he scored...

Its no wonder he won the wookie of the year award.

Sorry.

Its the Christians vs Muslims football game...

and the Christians score a goal. From his seat in heaven, surrounded by angels, God cheers.

after a while the Muslims score a goal. Again God cheers. The angels are now confused... "Whose side are you on, Lord?", they ask. "Niether", replies God, "I am just enjoying the game."

(modified from Catholics vs Protestants)

How many Polack's does it take to score a goal?

Apparently more than 11.

You can explore goals scored reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean goals scored dad jokes. There are also goals scored puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Which country have scored the most world cup goals?

The mongoals.

What's a geriatric?

A German footballer scoring three goals.

So i have this over the top gay friend..

He gets really screechy and table slappy when we watch hockey.

Slapping the table top and screeching in a high pitched feminine voice when his team scores a goal.

I wonder what in his past made him this way?

Was it caused by trauma?

Did he not get enough attention from his father?

Was he molested by his uncle?

Seriously people aren't just born Maple Leaf fans!

Neymar.

Either he is going to score a Goal today or score an Oscar today.

One thing for sure.!

I'm glad that Saudi Arabia didn't score any goal in football match against Russia few hours back

If not, their supporters would have yelled Allahu Akbar and the game would be stopped halfway.

Did Torres play for every other EPL club before Chelsea ?

.... Because he never celebrated scoring a goal.

How many goals did Germany score?

A Brazillion.

A father was fetching his son home from a soccer game.

Dad: How was the game, son?

Son: I scored three goals!

Dad: That's great! What was the score?

Son: 0-3


The manager for Chelsea FC swapped their defender for another one. The opponent scored 2 goals back to back straight after.

"Oops, wrong sub.", said the manager.

Chuck Norris once scored a field goal, using a hockey stick!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the goals scored jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working goals scored piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes