Goalkeeper Jokes

28 goalkeeper jokes and hilarious goalkeeper puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about goalkeeper that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of goalkeeper jokes. From classic one-liners to hilarious puns, we've got something for everyone.

Funniest Goalkeeper Short Jokes

Short goalkeeper jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The goalkeeper humour may include short goalie jokes also.

  1. My son's team won the soccer tournament, so the goalkeeper invited the two of us for a party afterwards. It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.
  2. After my son's team won the championship, the goalkeeper invited the two of us for a party afterwards. It was the Father, the Son, and the Goalie Host.
  3. From 2004-2015, Chelsea FC had the best goalkeeper in the world On second thought, Petr Cech that one
  4. The president of the Greek football club PAOK invaded the pitch with a gun yesterday, what a fool.. Only the goalkeeper is allowed to use his arms..
  5. #NeverForget Wife of a Brazilian goalkeeper wakes him up: "Honey, it's already 8!"
    Him: "What! Did Germany score another one?"
  6. After last nights performance you've really got to feel sorry for goalkeeper Júlio César... The last time i saw a brazilian facing that many shots he was jumping a ticket barrier at stockwell.
  7. My son thinks that a German goalkeeper keeps whispering in his ear. It's a little bit of paraNeuer
  8. If Jesus was a Football/Soccer player, what position would he play in? Goalkeeper.
    Jesus saves.
  9. Did you know Trump played soccer in high school? He was a goalkeeper, set up a wall like you've never seen...
  10. The real hero of Champions League is Make A Wish Foundation who made a young r**... man's dream come true so he could be a goalkeeper at the finals.

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Goalkeeper One Liners

Which goalkeeper one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with goalkeeper? I can suggest the ones about hockey goalie and footballer.

  1. My grandad always said be upfront with people Great man.
    Terrible goalkeeper.
  2. You know what we used to call our goalkeeper? 'Cinderella'
    He always missed the ball.
  3. Why are nuns the best goalkeepers Because they didn't let anything in for over 35 years
  4. Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet? Because they can't stop saving their work.
  5. What's a goalkeeper's favorite chocolate? Godiva
  6. Why is the African goalkeeper so bad? He's trying not to catch it!
  7. What do you call a keeper of goals? A goalkeeper.
  8. TIFU im a football manager and I brought on a striker for my goalkeeper. Woops wrong sub.
  9. What do you call a Mexican goalkeeper with no legs? Gracias
  10. What do you call an automatic goalkeeping machine? Automatic Neuer
  11. Why do you call a bad goalkeeper Cinderella? Because they're always late for the ball
  12. Which goalkeeper can jump higher than a crossbar? All of them, crossbars can't jump.
  13. Why couldn't the goalkeeper fall asleep? He didn't have a clean sheet.
  14. Why is lev Yashin the greatest goalkeeper of all time? Because he was a Bolshevik.
  15. What do call a chicken goalkeeper? A c**...

Goalkeeper joke, What do call a chicken goalkeeper?

Silly & Ridiculous Goalkeeper Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter

What funny jokes about goalkeeper you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean soccer player jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make goalkeeper pranks.

Football joke

Timmy, the goalkeeper of the school team, is sitting on the field after a big loss.
"My boy", an old man said behind him, "I saw you play. I think I can help you"
"Are you a coach?"
"No I'm an eye doctor"

The best soccer team in the world

We will put g**... as defenders, since they pressure well from the back.
Arabs, Chinese and Caucasians in mid because they bring color to the field.
Jews will be attackers because it's frowned upon to chase them.
And a 50 year old nun as our goalkeeper.
Because she hasn't let anyone in for three decades straight.

Goalkeeper joke, What do call a chicken goalkeeper?