The Best 19 Goalie Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Goalie jokes. There are some goalie referee jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these goalie soccer goalie puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Goalie Jokes and Puns

My son started dating a goalie for a women's soccer team and asked me what I thought of her.

I said "Son, she's a keeper."

A British girl meets a guy...

And they hit it off immediately. The girl goes to her dad the next day to tell him about it.

"Oh, dad, he's just the sweetest! He loves dancing and photography, he's great with kids, and he volunteers at an animal shelter. He's funny, handsome, a great listener, oh! and he's a goalie for a local football team. Oh dad, what do you think?"

Her dad looked at her with an odd expression and said "Oh honey...

... *he's a keeper*"

My son's team won the soccer tournament, so the goalkeeper invited the two of us for a party afterwards.

It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.

Why cant a woman be the goalie for hockey?

3 periods 2 pads.

Why should you never breakup with a goalie?

Because he's a keeper.


After my son's team won the championship, the goalkeeper invited the two of us for a party afterwards.

It was the Father, the Son, and the Goalie Host.

Why do girls suck at playing hockey as goalie?

Because there are 3 periods and only 2 pads

Goalie joke, Why do girls suck at playing hockey as goalie?

2 Poles are watching a Football game...

There is an attack by one team and the first Polish dude says:

-I bet you 20 bucks he will not score

-You are on - Replies the second one.

The attack goes through and the person scores. So the the first
pole reaches for his wallet, but the second one stops him saying:

-I cheated a little, this is a rerun I knew he'd score, keep your money.

-I also watched the game before, though I am still surprised the goalie let the same goal happen twice.

Ten reasons why hockey is better than women

1: In hockey, everyone likes rough.

2: You only get 5 minutes for fighting.

3: Puck is not a dirty word.

4: You don't have to play in the neutral zone.

5: It is possible to score a few times a night.

6: When you "pull the goalie," nobody gets pregnant.

7: Missing teeth doesn't stop you from scoring.

8: You can always get new wood if your stick breaks.

9: The Zamboni cleans up your mess.

10: Periods last twenty minutes!

My girlfriend is the star goalie of her soccer team

She's a keeper

Blonde PE Teacher

A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher at a school.

She notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun kicking a ball.

She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.

'You ok?' she says.

'Yes.' he says.

'You can go and play with the other kids you know' she says.

'No, it's probably best I stay here.' he says.

'Why's that sweetie?' says the blonde.

The boy looks at her incredulously and says,

Because I'm the Goalie!

You can explore goalie faceoff reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean goalie score dad jokes. There are also goalie puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


My dad and I were invited for dinner at the house of the soccer player Hope Solo.

It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.

A daughter takes her new boyfriend home to meet her parents

Her dad asks, "so, what do you do?"

The boyfriend says, "Im training in Madrid as a goalie. I'm hoping to work my way into the first team next season!"

The dad winks at his daughter, nudges her on the arm and says, "watch out for this one, he's gonna be a real keeper"

What do you call a dad and his son over for dinner at a famous hockey players home?

.....
.....The Father
.....The Son
.....And The Goalie Host

Did you hear about the Mexican hockey goalie?

Jesus saves... A lot.

What does a hockey goalie say when his team loses?

Awh, puck it.

Goalie joke, What does a hockey goalie say when his team loses?

At first, I was quite surprised to see my hockey team's goalie surrounded by beautiful women at the bar

...but then I remembered he's good at snatching pucks, and vice versa.

Why is Jesus such a good goalie?

Christ saves all

Why did the soccer player give his girlfriend goalie gloves for Christmas?

Because she's a keeper.


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the goalie puck puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working goalie hockey goalie piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes