The Best 30 Glued Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Glued jokes. There are some glued fasten jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these glued stuck puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Glued Jokes and Puns

My son accidentally glued his autobiography to himself

That's his story and he's sticking to it.

My author friend claims that he 'accidentally' glued himself to his autobiography, but I don't believe him.

But that's his story, and he's sticking to it.

I found my boomerang with RAM glued to it

Man that thing brought back memories

I ended up in jail the other night and the guys across from me had glued themselves together...

It was very confusing.

What did the writer say when he glued himself to his book?

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.


I used to love building sandcastles with my grandma

But my parent's eventually found it creepy and glued the urn shut

I was lonely until I glued a coffee cup on top of my car

Now everyone waves at me

Glued joke, I was lonely until I glued a coffee cup on top of my car

My friend claims he glued himself to his autobiography and I don't believe him

Anyway that's his story and he is sticking to it

My girlfriend won't let me spank her during foreplay

So I glued her buttcheeks together. Well I guess if you can't beat them, join them!

I used to be so lonely, so I glued a coffee cup to the roof of my car

Now wherever I go, everyone waves to me

Book Jokes.

I read a thriller in Braille.
You can really feel the suspense.

I'm reading a book about Anti-Gravity.
It's impossible to put down.

I read a book about submarine construction.
It's riveting.

I'm reading a book about adhesives.
It has me glued to my seat .

I read a book on suicide.
It had me on the edge of my building.

Feel free to insert more. :)

You can explore glued merchandise reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean glued velcro dad jokes. There are also glued puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I glued a picture of my deceased parrot onto my boomerang.

It brings back good memories.

Siamese Cat

My girlfriend wanted me to buy her a Siamese cat.

My mate told me that they are really expensive, so I've bought 2 normal cats and glued their heads together.

My friend glued a fake beard on to look like Jason Momoa

I don't think he could pull it off very well

I'm worried about my deaf friend who glued his forefinger to his thumb.

But he says he's A-OK.

"Barkeep, why are there pills glued to the top of the bar seating?" "Oh, some people complained that our seats were too hard. Those are stool softeners."

"And, cushions would have rectal the loose vibes we work so hard to cultivate."

Glued joke, "Barkeep, why are there pills glued to the top of the bar seating?" "Oh, some people complained that

Mexican Custodian

A Mexican custodian finishes mopping the lobby floor. A young girl enters the lobby with her eyes glued to her smartphone.

"Miss," the Mexican custodian says, "the floor is wet."

The girl looks up from her phone with a bored expression. "K," she replies.

"Miss," the Mexican custodian repeats, "I said the floor is wet."

Someone glued a mustache to my face.

I can't pull it off...

Thinking about the time I glued flash drives to a boomerang ..

Brings back memories


One thing I can't deal with..

is a deck of cards glued together.

Three monkeys in a tree

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree?

Because he was dead.



Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?

Because he was glued to the first monkey.



Why did the third monkey fall out of the three?

Peer pressure.

What do you call an aminoacid glued to an Australian?

A glutamate.

The World Cup kicked off in Brazil this week and, like many Americans, I was glued to my TV...

Watching something else.

Yesterday I glued my palms to the kitchen floor

It's hands-down the best decision I've ever made

If I glued dollar bills to my sneakers, what would you call them?

Cashews

I didn't turn up to an important appointment today as I accidentally glued myself to my autobiography.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Glued joke, I didn't turn up to an important appointment today as I accidentally glued myself to my autobiograph

I told my dad that I glued all my A* papers to my ceiling.

He said, "Keep up the good work."

I accidentally glued my index finger to my thumb

It's OK

Last Christmas my parents got me a pair of flip flops with matchbox cars glued to the bottom..

Cheap Skates!


I glued a fish to a wall once

Have you ever seen a fish stick?

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the glued reattached puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working glued glue piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes