glow Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious glow puns

Stupid people are like glow sticks.

I want to snap them and shake the shit out of them until the light comes on.


Horny glow bugs...

are fucking lit.


A monk was determined to seek immortality...

But after months, years, decades of training, he still failed. seeking after wisdom and enlightment, he went to his teacher and said "Master, how must I achieve the secret of immortality?"

"Have you seen the warm glow of the sun slowly creep behind the majestic mountains?" the master asked.

"Yes, my teacher."

"Have you travelled to the highest of the peaks and admired the blazing beauty of the snow?"


"Have you gazed at the endless stars in awe for an entire night?"


"That's the problem. You keep watching that shit instead of training."


How many people from Chernobyl does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They glow in the dark.


I like my girlfriend's new glow-in-the-dark braces...

...her smile really lights up the room now.


Blonde Inventions

The water-proof towel

Glow in the dark sunglasses

Solar powered flashlight

Submarine screen door

A book on how to read

Inflatable dart board

A dictionary index

Powdered water

Pedal powered wheel chair

Water proof tea bags

Zero proof alcohol

Reusable ice cubes

Skinless bananas

Do it yourself roadmap


How many Ukrainians does it take to screw a lightbulb?

You don't need to, they glow in the dark.


If a glow worm were to have its tail cut off …

… would it be de-lighted?


I'm working on a technology to make rabbit poop glow in the dark.

I can't wait to see their little feces light up.


I bought one of those glow in the dark condoms...

You should have seen her face light up.


What is it about tall creepy louisiana swamp dwellers that makes them naturally glow?

Their bayou loomin' essence


Glow in the dark condoms

Why have glow in the dark condoms been invented?

-So gay guys can reenact lightsaber duels from Star Wars.


Why do tulips glow?

Because they come from bulbs.

(This is the only *dad* joke I know.)


Trump's Orange Glow

**Trump is a forward-thinking businessman.**

He denies global warming so in the future he can maintain his signature orange glow without incurring the cost to run his tanning bed.


How many Chernobyl survivors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They already glow.


Everyone is freaking out about all these glasses that glow under a backlight...

... But my sheets have been glowing under backlights since I was 14


What is Tim Tebow's favorite glow in the dark color?

Knee-on green


What am I?

I am everything but the sun I am not
The radiance of my glow will not warm you up
My heat will not burn but will ruin your life
You cannot eat me but I am edible


An actor walks into a bar

He says, "can I get some glow tape on this thing?"


Q. How many QA staff does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Bug reported: Lightbulb was glowing, and is no longer glowing.
Unable to make lightbulb glow to test.
Report closed, could not reproduce.


An actor walked into a bar...

An actor walked into a bar...



What did the firefly say to the normal fly?

Do you even glow bro?


What did one firefly say to the other when he was getting late?

"I am sorry but I gotta glow now"


I was born with a condition that causes my skin to glow in daylight.

My mother calls me sunshine.


My friend has recently decided to wear glow in the dark condoms to spice up sex with his girlfriend...

I told him that it might finally help them see the light at the end of the tunnel.


If God doesn't exist...

...then why has anyone fur-fetched the boo-boo skates despite even use bowls glow? Czechmate atheists!


Some girls have the neatest glow in the dark make up

lol blacklights


Where do doctors put blood that can't be used because it is too fluorescent?

In the haemo glow bin.


What did one fire fly say to another?

Gotta glow now.


What did the kid firefly say to the Dad firefly?

I'm gonna glow outside


What are the most funny Glow jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Glow? Well, here are the best Glow dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Glow pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes