Glorious Jokes

28 glorious jokes and hilarious glorious puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about glorious that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Glorious Short Jokes

Short glorious jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The glorious humour may include short magnificent jokes also.

  1. I live in North Korea and I'm ready to tell the world what it's really like! [Edit]: The sun shines brightly on our smiles and future as our glorious leaders bring us joy with their mighty military.
  2. Roses are red... Roses are red,
    Violets are glorious,
    Don't spend Valentine's,
    With Oscar Pistorious
    ^^I'll ^^see ^^myself ^^out
  3. Even though we didn't get the glorious wall the president promised... We did get a massive cave.
  4. Below the southern border is a world of corruption and evil Good thing I live in North Korea, all praise our glorious leader
  5. Soviet joke In capitalism, man exploits man. In glorious Russia workers state, is other way around.
  6. I woke up with a glorious morning wood today But the kids woke up so nothing came out of it.
  7. Quentin Tarantino went fishing, and he almost landed a pretty good catch. Unfortunately, it got away because his footing was extremely bad. Seems he was slipping in glorious bass turds.
  8. How many North Koreans does it take to change a light bulb? One, only **Glorious Leader** gets access to light bulbs
  9. My sister keeps trying to get me to have s**... with her. I keep refusing, but she's really incestant.
    ^(from a *GLORIOUS* typo spotted in AdviceAnimals. Couldn't resist.)
  10. To any of you Idiots still using condoms and afraid of getting a glorious STI, I ask you this. Can **You** donate to a blood bank and s**... bank by jacking off?

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Glorious One Liners

Which glorious one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with glorious? I can suggest the ones about majestic and glory.

  1. Kim Jung Un loves to read books, what does that make him? A glorious reader.
  2. Roses are red... Violets are glorious.
    I wouldn't surprise
    Oscar Pistorius.
  3. Roses are red, violets are glorious Never sneak up,
    On oscar pistorious
  4. Roses are red Violets are Glorious Don't play hide and go seek
    with Oscar Pistorius.
  5. In celebration of this glorious day, I'd like to say My sandwich ain't gon' make itself
  6. Roses are red Violets are glorious. Don't try to suprise Oscar Pistorious

Glorious joke, Roses are red

Witty Glorious Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about glorious you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fabulous jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make glorious pranks.

A Russian and a Ukrainian go fishing together. They catch a talking goldfish, and she grants them 3 wishes if they let her go

The Russian says: we used my fishing rod, so I get first 2 wishes.
First: I want all the *insert some racial slurs* out of my glorious country.
Second: I want a big wall around Russia, nobody can cross.
Then ukrainian has a dialogue with the fish
- Is the wall done?
- Yes
- Is it strong and durable?
- Yes
- Nobody can climb it?
- Nobody
- And nobody but moscovites inside?
- Yes
- Great! Then fill it up with s**... up to the edges

The Bacon tree

Two Mexican brothers are lost in the desert.
They're hungry and thirsty, and have been walking for miles on end.
Suddenly, Jose yells at his brother. "Brother! Do you smell that? It smells like bacon!"
He rushes ahead, and sure enough, over the next dune, he sees it. A bacon tree. Glorious strips of crispy bacon, glistening in the sun, waiting to be eaten.
Jose runs head long at the tree, just as his brother climbs the dune behind him. Suddenly two machine guns pop out of the bacon tree and cut him down!
He turns to his brother, and with his last breath he yells out
"Brother! Is not a Bacon Tree!"
"Is a..."
"Is a Hambush..."

Interruption of the speech of Comrade Stalin

Stalin reads his report to the Party Congress. Suddenly someone sneezes.
"Who sneezed?" (Silence.)
"First row! On your feet! Shoot them!" (Applause.)
"Who sneezed?" (Silence.) "Second row! On your feet! Shoot them!" (Long, loud applause.)
"Who sneezed?" (Silence.) ...
A dejected voice in the back: "It was me" (Sobs.)
Stalin leans forward: "Bless you, comrade!"
Thanks to allrussias for glorious joke!

A man is standing on the Red Square in Moscow with a banner: "Death to the b**... madman"

Promptly, the police appears. "What, are you against our glorious leader Vladimir Putin?". And so the police beats him up.
"Wait, stop! I was protesting against Zelensky - the b**... madman!" - the man shouts as he is being dragged into the police car.
"Shut up, you. We all know who the b**... madman is here".

A Russian and a Ukrainian go fishing together. They catch a talking goldfish, and she grants them 3 wishes if they let her go

The Russian Says: We Used My Fishing Rod, So I Get First 2 Wishes.
First: I Want All The Capitalists Out Of My Glorious Country.
Second: I Want A Big Wall Around Russia, Nobody Can Cross.
Then Ukrainian Has A Dialogue With The Fish
- Is The Wall Done?
- Yes
- Is It Strong And Durable?
- Yes
- Nobody Can Climb It?
- Nobody
- And Nobody But Moscovites Inside?
- Yes
- Great! Then Fill It Up With s**... Up To The Edges

The sun was coming up. Adam & Eve had just spent the entire night ...

... having glorious unadulterated s**.... Eve decided to go wash up in the river close by. Just as she dipped her toe in the water to feel the temperature, she heard a thundering voice, "Do NOT go into the water!". Eve shrugged, and thought to herself, "What's the worse that could happen?". She waded into the water waist deep.
.... Another thundering voice came from the sky, "Now i'll NEVER get the smell out of the FISH!".

Boris and Ivan are walking down the street in Leningrad

Boris: It is beautiful day in Soviet Russia! I am happy to live in glorious motherland!
Ivan: Nyet. *We* are happy to live in glorious motherland.
Boris: Blyat. My bad.
Ivan: Our bad.

We did it Reddit! For ONE GLORIOUS DAY, people of the world will put aside their differences! There'll be no hunger, no pain, no suffering! No war, no fighting! Peace will embrace us like a warm blanket! Sickness and disease will cease! So please welcome this momentous occasion....

February 30, 2021

We need a wall on our southern border to keep out the filthy, r**..., murdering savages

Keep the Yankees out of our glorious country!
We might be small and weak but at least we are actually a democracy!

Glorious joke, I woke up with a glorious morning wood today