Glock Jokes
27 glock jokes and hilarious glock puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about glock that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Glock Short Jokes
Short glock jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The glock humour may include short revolver jokes also.
- Did you hear about the Buddhist monk who swallowed a Glock 18? He calls it his inner piece
- I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson. I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
- What does a gang member do when he arrives at work first thing in the morning? He Glocks in
- Did you hear about the teacher who used a gun to silence her student? She put a Glock in it!
- Pittsburgh shooter Robert Bowers was arrested trying to sneak the pistols back into his gun cabinet. At least he remembered to put the Glocks back.
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Glock One Liners
Which glock one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with glock? I can suggest the ones about rifle and colt.
- Four blondes play Russian Roulette... ...with a glock.
- My uncle died He found it mind blowing that you can't play Russian roulette with a Glock
- Chuck Norris has a gun for breakfast... ...at ate a glock every morning.
- What do Germans call a confession you give with a gun to your head? A Glock and spiel
- My music teacher gave a lecture about gun control the other day It was a glock and spiel
- They had to put my handgun under at the hospital He's in a glock coma
- When the bully takes your socks So you pull out your glocks
- My dad is called Glock 19 Guess that makes me a son of a gun
- What is a white boy's favorite time to go to school? 8 o' Glock
- What do gangsters put on their nachos? Glock-amole
- What disease do police give black people? Glock coma
- Your daddy is so s**..... that he played Russian roulette with a Glock p**...
- Why do girls like police officers? Because they are endowed with a b**... glock.
Uproarious Glock Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about glock you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean firearm jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make glock pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A black man walks into a gun store in Texas.
"I would like to see that glock on the display wall"
"I am sorry sir we are out of stock for those" replied the salesman.
"Ok, show me the one beside it, the rifle"
"We are out of those, as well"
Suspecting the salesman is a racist he goes to a lawyer.
When the lawyer, who is white, walks into the store and asks, "what have you got against b**......" when he is interrupted.
"Well we have handguns, rifles, shotguns..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Colt 1911 and a Glock walks into a bar...
The 1911 says to the Glock: "Hey, ugly foreigner, want to do a drinking contest?"
The Glock says "You old idiot, you can only last 8 rounds!"
From a friend of mine who's a gun enthusiast.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Inauguration Limerick by Stephen Colbert
There once was a man named Barack
Whose re-election came as a shock
He raised taxes I pay
And turned marriage gay
And now he's coming after your Glock
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a plate of bamboo…
When he's finished with his meal, he hops up onto the table, pulls out two Glock 45s and unloads both magazines, blasting everything in sight.
When the guns empty, he throws them down and starts walking towards the door. The bartender looks up from behind the bar and yells, Hey! What the h**..., man?
The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!" The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda:
"A tree dwelling bear of Asian orgin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats bamboo shoots and leaves.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas.
She said, I'd like a p**.... Maybe a Glock?
She gave me a t-shirt with a target on it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My dad smeared glue all over his u**..., and he say's his Glock is next. He can't be talked out of it.
He's sticking to his guns.
