The Best 20 Glock Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Glock jokes. There are some glock colt jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these glock pistol puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Glock Jokes and Puns

A black man walks into a gun store in Texas.

"I would like to see that glock on the display wall"
"I am sorry sir we are out of stock for those" replied the salesman.
"Ok, show me the one beside it, the rifle"
"We are out of those, as well"

Suspecting the salesman is a racist he goes to a lawyer.
When the lawyer, who is white, walks into the store and asks, "what have you got against blacks..." when he is interrupted.
"Well we have handguns, rifles, shotguns..."

A Colt 1911 and a Glock walks into a bar...

The 1911 says to the Glock: "Hey, ugly foreigner, want to do a drinking contest?"

The Glock says "You old idiot, you can only last 8 rounds!"

From a friend of mine who's a gun enthusiast.

Four blondes play Russian Roulette...

...with a glock.

Inauguration Limerick by Stephen Colbert

There once was a man named Barack
Whose re-election came as a shock
He raised taxes I pay
And turned marriage gay
And now he's coming after your Glock

Did you hear about the Buddhist monk who swallowed a Glock 18?

He calls it his inner piece


A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a plate of bamboo…

When he's finished with his meal, he hops up onto the table, pulls out two Glock 45s and unloads both magazines, blasting everything in sight.

When the guns empty, he throws them down and starts walking towards the door. The bartender looks up from behind the bar and yells, Hey! What the hell, man?

The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!" The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda:

"A tree dwelling bear of Asian orgin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats bamboo shoots and leaves.

I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.

I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.

Glock joke, I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperso

What disease do police give black people?

Glock coma

Your daddy is so stupid..

that he played Russian roulette with a Glock Pistol

My uncle died

He found it mind blowing that you can't play Russian roulette with a Glock

Asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas.

She said, I'd like a pistol. Maybe a Glock?
She gave me a t-shirt with a target on it.

You can explore glock smg reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean glock firearm dad jokes. There are also glock puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Chuck Norris has a gun for breakfast...

...at ate a glock every morning.

What do Germans call a confession you give with a gun to your head?

A Glock and spiel

My dad smeared glue all over his Uzi, and he say's his Glock is next. He can't be talked out of it.

He's sticking to his guns.

My music teacher gave a lecture about gun control the other day

It was a glock and spiel

They had to put my handgun under at the hospital

He's in a glock coma

Glock joke, They had to put my handgun under at the hospital

Did you hear about the teacher who used a gun to silence her student?

She put a Glock in it!

Just heard a gun talk that was like music to my ears.

I am a sucker for the "Glock N' Spiel".

My dad is called Glock 19

Guess that makes me a son of a gun


Glockenspiel

Germanic efficiency brought to the game of Russian roulette.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the glock shotgun puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working glock gunman piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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