Global Jokes
116 global jokes and hilarious global puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about global that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article will discuss the funny side of global studies, looking into why humour is a useful tool for discussing global issues such as climate change, global history, politics, and more. We will explore how comedy can both shed light on global decline as well as be a source of hope for a better future--all from a global perspective. Read on to discover the humour from around the globe!
Funniest Global Short Jokes
Short global jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The global humour may include short international jokes also.
- I know global warming is bad but wouldn't it be kinda funny if dinosaurs made humans go extinct?
- Lol plague inc easy mode is so unrealistic Like who wouldn't wash their hands and wear a mask during a global pandemic.
- The eclipse did two things our political leaders cannot. It slowed global warming and gave us all something to look up to
- You are what you think you are Her: What do you do?
Me: Global prosthetics distribution.
Her: So you're an artificial limb salesman?
Me: I prefer 'international arms dealer'. - What if aliens are responsible for global warming? And this is just their way of breaking the ice.
- A global crisis broke out, affecting every nation and people of all kinds In response, the world banded together and quickly solved the problem through mutual cooperation and understanding
- I'm from a future where Trump won re-election and solved Global Warming Just a heads up though, nuclear winter is a bit chilly.
- Edna Mode has been to fashion shows across the global, but there's one place she will never visit… Cape Town
- Trump has left the historical Paris Climate Accord in which countries around the world agreed to fight global warming... It was the first time he pulled out of a working model.
- Smallpox, the Spanish Flu, and the black death have already done the whole global pandemic thing... What covid is doing is just plaguerism.
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Global One Liners
Which global one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with global? I can suggest the ones about general and world wide.
- Why did the Cold War end? Global warming started.
- Global warming can reduce terrorism because the isis melting.
- Did you know global warming is reducing terrorism? The ISIS melting.
- If you meet a woman, start talking about global warming. It's a real icebreaker.
- What do you call a boring story about global warming? Anti-climatic
- I identify as counter strike, and I find this globally offensive.
- Why does everyone try to discredit Flat Earthers? It's like there's a global conspiracy.
- When someone says they don't believe in global warming Be a lot cooler if you did
- What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
- How do they calculate global warming? Al-gore-ythms
- What if this whole Global Warming thing doesn't happen? Boy, will that be anticlimatic!
- What do flat-earthers call global warming? Toast
- I was going to make a joke about Counter Strike... But it would be globally offensive.
- How many cities does it take to start a global pandemic? Only Wuhan.
- What's not a good icebreaker? Global warming
Global Warming Jokes
Here is a list of funny global warming jokes and even better global warming puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- We should all stop studying to prevent global warming Because everytime someone graduates, the world increases by a degree.
- Donald Trump is such a good salesman he could sell ice to the Eskimos. Which will come in handy considering his policies on global warming.
- How to get out of buying your kids Christmas presents Explain to them that due to Global Warming that the North Pole melted and that Santa and the reindeer drowned.
- Me: Did you know that the fish in Egypt dont believe in global warming? Friend: ....
Me: Yeah, they're in Da Nile - You'd think Ocasio-Cortez would support global warming... Given how much she hates ICE and all.
- Why did the global warming activist compliment the earth? Cause it looked hotter than usual! (I'll see myself out)
- Everyone seems worried about global warming and world hunger... ...but the real crisis is that one day elderly drivers will know how to text.
- Did you know that global warming is making students do worse? Because all I've heard is that C levels are rising.
- Global warming doesn't exist This subreddit is the only place it's appropriate to say that.
- If you're ever having trouble talking to strangers... ...I hear global warming is a great icebreaker.
Humorous Global Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about global you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean worldwide jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make global pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Global Facts About s**...
At any given moment:
FACT: 79,000,000 people are having s**... (i.e. right now);
FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing;
FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having s**...;
FACT: A few less fortunate are reading emails & web postings;
You hang in there!
What is globalization?
Question : What is globalization?
Answer : Princess Diana's death
Question : How come?
Answer :
An English princess with an
Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a
French tunnel, driving a
German car with a
Dutch engine, driven by a
Belgian who was high on
Scottish whiskey, followed closely by
Italian Paparazzi, on
Japanese motorcycles, treated by an
American doctor, using
Brazilian medicines!
And this is sent to you by a
Canadian, using
Bill Gates' technology which he got from the
Japanese.
And you are probably reading this on
one of the IBM clones that use
Philippine-made chips, and
Korean made monitors, assembled by Bangladeshi
workers in a Singapore plant, transported by lorries
driven by Indians, hijacked by Indonesians and finally
sold to you by a Chinese!
Santa probably regrets giving coal
Santa Claus probably regrets giving coal to naughty children now that global warming is threatening his habitat.
My girlfriend has a global map tattooed on her body
She may have been a difficult person to deal with. But you always knew where you were with her.
Scientists have reversed Global Warming!
Get rekt, Sun!
Republicans were just informed about the effects of Global Warming on the polar ice caps
They're losing their cool!
There is no solid evidence of global warming...
...it all melted.
If we really do live in a simulation, I think I know how they programmed global warming.
They most likely used an "Al-Gore-Ithm"
President Obama is doubling down on fighting global warming
He's already sent three battalions of Marines to invade the Sun.
A Saudi prince has come forward saying that they should end the ban placed on women driving in the kingdom.
Interesting, just in time when all global tech giants are in the final stage of trials of their self-driving cars.
So this guy I knew mentioned how the world would be better off without humans because of global warming, etc.
I told him that Gandhi once said "Be the change that you want to see in the world"..
Nobody cares about global warming..
Not even polar bears, they're too busy learning how to swim.
I just finished writing a book on what it takes to create a global clothing company...
It's an International Vest-Seller
I'm thwarting a global cyber attack using Binary
I guess you could say I'm defending the world, One Zero at a time...
A black man attended a protest against fossil fuels...
And got six global warming shots in his back.
What do climatologists use to predict the global climate?
AlGorerithums
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How to solve Global Warming:
Convince republicans that rising temperatures are turning people gay.
Did you hear about the local islamic state rock band?
They tried going global
but they blew up.
What do you call it when someone insults the whole world, and they retaliate?
Counter-Strike: Global Offensive
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you make a Eskimo lose his cool?
GLOBAL WARMING.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Global warming is going to demand re-education of our tradesmen.
Already the glaziers are smelting.
I heard about global warming...
So now I leave my air conditioner on all the time. I know just one individual can't save the planet, but I do my best.
If global warming isn't real...
Then why did club penguin shut down?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Global warming is funny.
Even the Antarctic ice sheets are cracking up.
I'm surprised there aren't more far-righters who acknowledge global warming
I heard it means there'll be fewer snowflakes around.
What happened when there was a global helium shortage?
Prices ballooned.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You can't really blame Donald Trump for not believing in Global Warming
He's permanently surrounded by snowflakes.
TIL the Earth produces global electromagnetic resonance with the highest peak frequency of 33.8Hz, slightly lower than a C#1 note with a frequency of 34.65Hz.
I guess you can say the earth is flat.
How did i know for sure global warming was real?
On the day Trump got elected over 50 million snowflakes melted at once.
Did you hear about the global trade war to determine who's currency is stronger?
South Korean Won.
Batman: "Alfred, why do people deny global warming?"
Alfred: "Some men just want to watch the world butn."
Why didn't the parents let their kids watch the documentary on global warming?
Too much Gore...
Join the flat earth society! We don't discriminate, because...
We have members all around the globe.
Yes. Flat earth is truly a global movement with a great sphere of influence.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've had it with climate change deniers...
The global warming truthers are so anti-climatic!
First we had an ice age, now there is global warming.
It's almost as if the Earth is bipolar.
what do global warming and Barack Obama have in common?
Trump likes to pretend they don't exist
Job Opportunity for Flat Earthers
Because of the recent Arctic cold snap. Delta Airlines has been hiring de-icers in their Atlanta hub for the expected crowds at SuperBowl. Most of the jobs have been going to Flat Earthers, because by definition, they don't believe in *Global* Warming but are fine with Plane Warming.
After building the wall, Trump to build an electromagnetic barrier to prevent foreign bees from entering the U.S. by sending waves that interfere with their communication.
Trump is strictly against Global Swarming
If you live in an igloo, what's the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Using Microsoft Word
**moves image 1mm to the right**
4 new pages appear.
Global warming.
Alien invasion.
Armageddon.
What happens when you put a globe in a microwave?
Global warming.
Did you hear that Rand McNally is trying to increase product sales by hiding evidence of a flat Earth?
Yes. It's a global conspiracy.
Company Heinz announces plans to produce PPE
There is still global shortages. They will be playing Ketchup.
Day 1: Staying home, avoiding social gatherings and eating food in my room
Day 50: Continuing with this process
Day 100: Still feeling okay
Day 2500: Now a global virus has arrived and others are doing what i do.
Trump is fighting Covid-19 not only in the US but also for the world
by not only not stopping but promoting global warming. Now that it is confirmed heat and humidity kill Covid-19, I can see Trump was trying to protect us proactively even before the pandemic...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I guess China will save the world's climate.
They are not fond of global warning.
I just got a job processing transactions for a global multi-billion dollar company!
I'm so thankful to McDonald's for this opportunity.
A Taiwanese joke translated and adapted to suit global culture.
I failed my geography test because of one single question.
The question was: "Where's the capital of Ukraine?"
I responded with "Kyiv" when the answer was "Moscow".
I argued that the teacher doesn't know anything about geography while the teacher said I know nothing about communism.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Standing at the pearly gates
God: Welcome my son
You........
God: You know why you're here, don't you?
You........
God: Tell me why you're here.
You: Because I was eating a**... at a pool party during a global pandemic?
God: Because you were eating a**... at a pool party during a global pandemic.
Why is there global chip shortage?
Because it all went into vaccines.
Globally over 99% of asphalt is recycled. It is the second most recycled material in the world, after jokes on reddit
Globally over 99% of asphalt is recycled. It is the second most recycled material in the world, after jokes on reddit
In 2024 Al Gore decided to run for president again.
His campaign hinged on a song he made to promote the dangers of global warming. It was so popular it became a meme.
After a while, everyone was talking about Al Gore, and, sure enough he became President.
When asked on the News, "How do you think he won," two fallen YouTubers stated, "You can't beat the Al Gore Rhythm."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between Jesus and vaccines?
One has the ability to prevent disease, slow down and eventually stop a global pandemic, and has saved countless millions of lives.
The other is a giant hoax, made up by evil s**... bags to control the global population.
