Glitter Jokes

52 glitter jokes and hilarious glitter puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about glitter that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Brighten up your day with these funny glitter jokes! From jokes about a glitter ball to jokes about glint and sparkle, these jokes will make you shine!

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Funniest Glitter Short Jokes

Short glitter jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The glitter humour may include short sparkling jokes also.

  1. They actually stopped manufacturing glitter in 1972 We just haven't gotten it out of everything yet.
  2. Gary Glitter; rolf Harris and Jimmy Savile walk into a Irish bar and the bar man says: not yewtree again . Boom boom.
  3. A doctor fills a syringe with glitter and injects the patient. "Whats that?" asks the patient.
    The doctor replies "An esthetic."
  4. Your momma's so fat, last time she wore a glitter dress... ... the Hubble telescope thought it had discovered a new galaxy.
  5. What's it called when you BeDazzle glitter onto BeDazzled rhinestones onto BeDazzled stars? A Fibonacci sequins
  6. Garry Glitter gave me my first guitar lesson the other day He showed me how to finger A minor
  7. What's the difference between Gary Glitter and Buzz from Toy Story? Only one of them goes limp when a child walks in a room.
  8. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Gary Glitter? 10 "number 1's" and a not guilty verdict
  9. I tried to kill a spider with glitter spray... Now it won't stop stripping and I have to call it cinnamon.
  10. LPT jokes shower thought. If somebody calls you gay, just reach into the secret stash of glitter in your pocket and while throwing it yell out...PROVE IT...And sashay away my friend sashay.

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Glitter One Liners

Which glitter one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with glitter? I can suggest the ones about glow and fireworks.

  1. What's the difference between Mariah Carey and Marie Curie? One glitters, the other glows
  2. What do you call a guy who fills his underwear with glitter? Pretty nuts
  3. I just quit my job sweeping up in a glitter factory It was pretty rubbish.
  4. Sawdust? You mean man glitter?
  5. What was Gary Glitter favourite type of cheese? Baby bell
  6. Did you hear they cremated Zsa Zsa Gabor today? All that was left was a pile of glitter.
  7. What happens if you mix fiber pills with glitter pills? Super Cullen Blow
  8. My grandma made a sweater with glitter yarn It was pretty knit
  9. I saw a girl pour glitter into an ice box... It's pretty cool.
  10. UK Gang leader jailed for 16 years. But if anyone deserved it Glitter did.
  11. Fathering two daughters seemed like a good idea, but then glitter.
  12. If pink and glitter were vitamins blondes would be the healthiest people alive.
  13. What is a blonde's favorite color? Glitter.
  14. So apparently Garry glitter has gone down, ON LITTLE GIRLS HAHEHHEHEE (heat plz)
  15. You hear about the guy that dipped his b**... in glitter? ...pretty nuts

Glitter Ball Jokes

Here is a list of funny glitter ball jokes and even better glitter ball puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I just got escorted out of the crafts shop for dipping my b**... in the glitter... Pretty nuts!
  • So I dipped my b**... in glitter Pretty nuts
  • A homeless guy was caught at a craft store dipping his b**... into a bag of glitter It was pretty nuts.
  • Did you hear about the guy who dipped his b**... into Glitter? Pretty nuts if you ask me.
  • Anyone here about the guy who dipped his b**... in glitter? Pretty nuts.

Gary Glitter Jokes

Here is a list of funny gary glitter jokes and even better gary glitter puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did Gary Glitter never play major chords on his guitar? Because he exclusively fingered minors.
Glitter joke, Why did Gary Glitter never play major chords on his guitar?

Glitter joke, Why did Gary Glitter never play major chords on his guitar?

Witty Glitter Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about glitter you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean glory jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make glitter pranks.

Police have warned of a man in craft stores dipping his t**... in glitter.

It's pretty nuts.

Did you hear about the guy who dipped his t**... in glitter?

Pretty nuts right?

The latest report from Mars indicates the presence of large ring structures of precious stones and a dusting of glitter almost everywhere

Apparently, efforts are underway to tiara-form the planet.
(I do apologize for this. I happen to hear someone pronounce this word rather frequently and this is what I keep imagining they are meaning. Along with some deposits of sass, pageantry and frills.)

They found a guy in hobby lobby dipping his t**... in the glitter bins

One eye witness was quoted as saying "It was pretty nuts!"

What do you call a man who fires glitter out of his b**...?

A party p**...

Police have reported a man going into local craft stores and dipping his t**... in glitter

It's pretty nuts

Did you hear on the news about the guy going to all of the craft stores in the area?

He was dipping his t**... in in glitter.
It was pretty nuts.

With this whole glitter beard trend...

If Abraham Lincoln were to participate. Wouldn't he be...
**Abraglam Lincoln!?**

The glitter b**... continues

Glitter joke, The glitter b**... continues

jokes about glitter