Glasses So Thick Jokes
7 glasses so thick jokes and hilarious glasses so thick puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about glasses so thick that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Share These Glasses So Thick Jokes With Friends
Glasses So Thick Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good glasses so thick joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
My grandma just walked into my room with a young barista wearing thick rimmed glasses.
I said, Who is that?
Grandma: That's my hip replacement.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Yo mamas glasses so thick
when she looks at a map, she can see people wave
What do you call a cow that has a record player, tight pants, and thick brimmed glasses?
A hip-steer.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A horse in Russia walks into a bar, with a thick Russian accent the horse asks the bartender to pour him a glass of v**....
Before I go on with the rest of the joke, you should know this joke is about Descartes' famous philosophy of "I think therefore, I am." I'm explaining that part now, because in soviet Russia you put Descartes before the horse.
The bartender says "you're in here pretty often. Think you might be an alcoholic?", to which the horse says "I don't think I am.", and vanishes from existence.
Three men are at church. One of them is a union worker.
Three men are in Church one Sunday morning, one of them belongs to the local union. Before the service they complain amongst themselves of their various ailments and injuries.
Jesus hears them, and he appears before these gentlemen. "Tell me your troubles my children."
"Lord. I can not stand up straight or go a day without pain, thanks to a back injury i suffered years ago." The first man says.
"Be healed, Child." Jesus says. The man immediately stands stall and does jumping jacks, feeling true relief.
"Lord, I can barely see. I was blinded by a flash-bang in Iraq, I need these thick glasses just to function." The second man says. Jesus takes his glasses away and they crumble into fine powder. the man can see with perfect 20-20 vision.
The union worker, seeing this, shouts "Don't touch me! I'm on permanent disability!"
A biologist, a physicist, and an engineer are on a plane that crashes...
...and luckily they are washed up on a deserted island, along with several crates of canned food. However, no can opener washes up with them, and there is nothing sharp on the island, so the three scientists must figure out how to open the cans.
The biologist sticks the can in the water, saying, "The salt water should eat through the metal, allowing us to get to the food inside."
When this doesn't work, the physicist takes his thick glasses and holds them between the sun and the can, saying, "By focusing the sun on the can, we can burn through the metal and get to the food inside." But this doesn't work either.
The engineer picks up a can and stares at it for several minutes before saying, "Now, if we start by assuming the can is already open..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three vampires walk into a bar...
The bartender asks the first vampire what he wants to drink. He replies, through a thick Transylvanian accent, "Warm blood." The bartender pulls a live rat out from under the bar, cleaves its head off, and drains the blood into a glass.
He asks the second vampire what he wants to drink, and he replies "Cold blood." The bartender pulls out another rat, chops off its head, and throws several ice cubes into the glass with the blood.
The bartender asks the third vampire what he wants to drink, and the vampire says "Water." The bartender is puzzled. "Don't you want blood?" he asks. The vampire says, "Oh, no, I'm making tea," and pulled a used t**... out of his jacket.
Share These Glasses So Thick Jokes With Friends